Step 1. Give the courtesy wave.
Okay, this is the first step, so we need to start off with a soft lob. I don't want anyone straining any muscles. (Did you know the heart is a muscle? Anyway.) When you are driving down a narrow street and a car approaching you pulls over to allow you to pass, give them a little courtesy wave, will you? Please notice that I'm not suggesting you actually be the one to pull over and acquiesce to the other driver. (That's, like, full Step Thirteen Asshole-Sober level behavior.) Just express a quick acknowledgment and show some momentary gratitude for their lack of assholery. You don't even have to do a full wave. Do that thing where you continue gripping your steering wheel but raise three, maybe four fingers from their curved position to, like, slightly less curved and almost straight. Maybe even throw in a nearly imperceptible head nod. You know what the other person will think? "Huh, that was nice. They're definitely probably not an asshole."
(Bro tip: Also give a courtesy wave behind you when somebody lets you merge or turn into their lane. That's super non-asshole behavior right there.)
Step 2. Smile at a stranger on the sidewalk.
Alright. At this point, you should be fairly comfortable with the feeling of acknowledging a complete stranger with a minimally positive gesture. It's time to take it to the next level. Try to catch a person's eye as you pass them on the sidewalk and give them a small smile. Don't be, like, creepy. Give a quick look in their direction; if they reciprocate and you happen to make eye contact, follow through with the smile equivalent of, "Hey." not "Haaaaayyyyyy." Do you know why this is good? Because it allows you to give that other person acknowledgment that they freaking exist. Also, people used to do this sort of thing all the time Before Steve Jobs. And honestly? You will look like a self-confident badass because nobody does this anymore.
Step 3. Do not block an intersection.
I know. You're busy. You have places to be. Here's the thing: SO DOES EVERYBODY ELSE. But even more importantly: Do you know what happens when you nudge yourself in there to catch the tail of that yellow light and end up in the middle of the intersection? You get to your destination roughly twenty seconds earlier than if you had just goddamn waited AND you get to sit there—yep, like an asshole—while everybody throws their rightfully venomous angry eyeballs at you. Just don't do it, okay? As a bonus, you get a few extra seconds to chill in your car at a stop light and do some Kegels or something.
Okay, this is the first step, so we need to start off with a soft lob. I don't want anyone straining any muscles. (Did you know the heart is a muscle? Anyway.) When you are driving down a narrow street and a car approaching you pulls over to allow you to pass, give them a little courtesy wave, will you? Please notice that I'm not suggesting you actually be the one to pull over and acquiesce to the other driver. (That's, like, full Step Thirteen Asshole-Sober level behavior.) Just express a quick acknowledgment and show some momentary gratitude for their lack of assholery. You don't even have to do a full wave. Do that thing where you continue gripping your steering wheel but raise three, maybe four fingers from their curved position to, like, slightly less curved and almost straight. Maybe even throw in a nearly imperceptible head nod. You know what the other person will think? "Huh, that was nice. They're definitely probably not an asshole."
(Bro tip: Also give a courtesy wave behind you when somebody lets you merge or turn into their lane. That's super non-asshole behavior right there.)
Step 2. Smile at a stranger on the sidewalk.
Alright. At this point, you should be fairly comfortable with the feeling of acknowledging a complete stranger with a minimally positive gesture. It's time to take it to the next level. Try to catch a person's eye as you pass them on the sidewalk and give them a small smile. Don't be, like, creepy. Give a quick look in their direction; if they reciprocate and you happen to make eye contact, follow through with the smile equivalent of, "Hey." not "Haaaaayyyyyy." Do you know why this is good? Because it allows you to give that other person acknowledgment that they freaking exist. Also, people used to do this sort of thing all the time Before Steve Jobs. And honestly? You will look like a self-confident badass because nobody does this anymore.
Step 3. Do not block an intersection.
I know. You're busy. You have places to be. Here's the thing: SO DOES EVERYBODY ELSE. But even more importantly: Do you know what happens when you nudge yourself in there to catch the tail of that yellow light and end up in the middle of the intersection? You get to your destination roughly twenty seconds earlier than if you had just goddamn waited AND you get to sit there—yep, like an asshole—while everybody throws their rightfully venomous angry eyeballs at you. Just don't do it, okay? As a bonus, you get a few extra seconds to chill in your car at a stop light and do some Kegels or something.
