Advisor: "So...how's the dissertation coming along?" (Part 1)

Recent answers for when my dissertation advisor sees me in the halls and asks the dreaded question:

"Great!" (LIES.)

"I'm very close to having something to show you!" (Time is relative. - Albert Einstein)

"Pretty good. Gotta go, I'm late for a meeting. I'll email you soon!" (A meeting with a bag of kettle chips)