Things I Wanted To Blog While Waiting In Line At The Social Security Office And DMV But Couldn't Because The Blogger App Kept Crashing.

• Somebody near me smells of spoiling milk mixed with overripe jackfruit. It better be a baby who has spit up. If it's not a baby who has spit up, then that is inexcusable and disgusting.
• The security officer here looks like Dwight Schrute. Also, I caught him picking both his nose and his ear - WITH THE SAME PINKY. Ewwww. I made sure to stay a very safe distance from that pinky when I had to go up and ask him a question.
• A fun (not really) game to play while waiting in a crammed government service administrative office is "Meth Addict or Not A Meth Addict?" (I've been really into watching past episodes of 'Intervention' on Hulu, so I'm pretty much an expert at this game.)
• After waiting over two hours - TWO HOURS!!! - at the Social Security office, I finally made my triumphant way to a service window, where the nice government worker had a really creepy (nervous?) laugh that he punctuated literally every single statement with: "Oh, yes, you're passport will do... *HEEheeheehee!*" and "Oh! This program just won't let me in for some reason... *HeeHEEEEhee!*" After sitting at the window another ten minutes while he tried to get the program to work - the program that would print out the two pages of paperwork that I needed to get my driver's license at the DMV (up next) and that I had just waited over two hours for, he started saying things like, "Well...either I'll get you your form today...or I won't. *HEEHEEheeee!*" and then I smiled politely while simultaneously stabbing him in the face metaphorically with my icy death eyeballs. Needless to say, he got the program to work and I walked away finally with the social security letter that I needed. *HEEHEEheeeEEE!*
• Two silver linings: 1) There was no fee for applying for a new Social Security card or receipt letter. Me to goverment worker at window: "There's no fee for this? Well, at least that's one piece of good news since I lost my wallet!" and 2) The DMV was super fast and I had the $20 cash in my purse that I needed to pay for the new license. Yay.
• Meanwhile, at the DMV office: There was absolutely zero point in me picking a cute colorful top and straightening my hair this morning because it pretty much GOT COMPLETELY CUT OUT of my license photo!! Go figure. Whatever. I have my new Social Security card coming in the mail (Note to self: Don't keep your card in your wallet anymore, you effing dummy.) and a new Kentucky driver's license in my purse. Mission accomplished today. The reward is Cheez-Its. The end.