Email fun with Acadaemia Nut and Professor Schmooblebottoms!

From: Acadaemia Nut
To: Professor Schmooblebottoms
Sent: January 12, 2016, 3:30pm
Subject: Watcha doooin?

Watcha doooin?

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From: Professor Schmooblebottoms
To: Acadaemia Nut
Sent: January 12, 2016, 3:43pm
Re: Watcha doooin?

watching tv. recovering from my overindulgence in pizza.

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From: Acadaemia Nut
To: Professor Schmooblebottoms
Sent: January 12, 2016, 3:45pm
Re: Watcha doooin?

If I give you directions, would you be able to get dinner started?

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From: Professor Schmooblebottoms
To: Acadaemia Nut
Sent: January 12, 2016, 3:46pm
Re: Watcha doooin?

Depends on the complexity.

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From: Acadaemia Nut
To: Professor Schmooblebottoms
Sent: January 12, 2016, 3:50pm
Re: Watcha doooin?

Easy. 

1. Locate slow cooker. It is in the bottom cupboard underneath the Keurig.
2. Drizzle bottom with olive oil (shelf on top of stove).

3. Cut up an onion. Toss in slow cooker.
4. Get stew beef meat (in refrigerator drawer) and put in slow cooker.

5. Cut up six or so of those tomatoes on the counter (Reminder to self: I need to use those up.) and put in slow cooker.

6. Plug it in and turn it on to low.

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From: Professor Schmooblebottoms

To: Acadaemia Nut

Sent: January 12, 2016, 3:56pm

Re: Watcha doooin?

how much should i slice the onions and tomatoes? diced or what?

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From: Acadaemia Nut
To: Professor Schmooblebottoms
Sent: January 12, 2016, 4:04pm
Re: Watcha doooin?

Just chunks. Medium. No big deal--it'll all turn into a stewy mush anyway. You can throw in some carrot and celery in there too if you don't want to use them all up for juicing. I'm thinking maybe tacos for dinner?

Oh, and toss in some salt & pepper if you can. Or I can add it later when I get home. Whatever.

***

Fast forward to that evening. I come home and see that Schmoobles has dutifully done what I had asked him to do and the slow cooker is slowly bubbling and steaming away as a vaguely meaty aroma wafts through the house.

In the back of my mind, I notice that the rice cooker, without the cooking bowl, is sitting unplugged on top of the kitchen counter. But I think nothing of it. A couple of hours later, we are standing in the kitchen getting ready to serve up dinner. And I notice that the rice cooker bowl is sitting in the sink.

Me: "Wait. Did you think the rice cooker was the slow cooker at first?"
Schmoobles: "...Yes..."

Me: "And you tried to cook raw meat in there?"
Schmoobles: "...Yes..."

Me: *starts cracking up*
Schmoobles: "You should have told me exactly which one the slow cooker was!"
Me: "I actually thought to myself, 'Maybe I need to explain to him the difference between the rice cooker and the slow cooker.' But I didn't want you to think I was being patronizing!"

Schmoobles: "No amount of detail is enough for me when it comes to the kitchen."

Hahaha. Poor Professor Schmooblebottoms. I think this means that he needs more practice cooking dinner.