My kingdom for a sandwich!

Oog. I left my wallet at home today and had only enough change in my pocket to buy myself a can of diet Coke. Luckily I was able to fill some of the void with a few cups of coffee and a few (okay okay, massive amounts of) chocolate chip cookies from the break room upstairs. Anyway, the whole moral of this story is that it is 4:30 in the afternoon and I have nothing in my stomach except for some carbonated high fructose corn syrup, a pleasant amount of caffeine, chocolate chips and other such wholly unhealthy food byproducts. Meaning: I have lost all desire and will to do anything productive for the rest of the day, and have resigned myself to waiting out the clock by updating this blog (okay, let's all say it together: "It's about goddamn time!") and checking out the Best & Worst Dressed of the Golden Globes on msn.com while periodically getting up and leafing through some of the sheet music shelves whilst mumbling to myself softly-but-still-audible-to-any-nearby-coworker such telling phrases as "Hmmm...interesting." and "Huh. Interesting." and "Oooh! Interesting!" and then marching back to my desk and typing this! and this too! on my computer with a very determined and slightly scowl-ish look upon my face so as to convey a sense of extreme concentration.

Anyway, I'm sure many exciting things have happened in my life since I last updated this blog. But since I have been too busy/tired/lazy/apathetic to write about it here, you will never know what those things are. Ha! Just kidding. Here's the gist of my life lately:

• As if the leaking of the rain water and the consequent growing of the mold wasn't enough, Lucky, my former beloved baby boy (i.e. my 2000 VW Golf) continues to supply me with endless amounts of grief and heartache anger. Case in point: As I was driving to work on Monday morning, I found that the windows had been frozen shut and would not roll down. No big deal, yes? Except that I left work at 6pm that evening and walked to my car in the parking lot only to find that the driver's side window had, at some point during the day, rolled itself down...and would no longer roll back up. This in itself would not have been too upsetting if it weren't for the fact that a) I had to drive home from work with the window rolled completely down in below freezing temperature, and b) it was forecast to snow that night and I do not have covered parking. And I was almost sure I would not be able to get it to a mechanic in time -- at least one that I could research ahead of time so as to not be completely taken in and overcharged for the service. As I drove home with my frozen fingers turning various shades of blue, I fantasized over the prospect of some unknowing sad sack noticing my open window and stealing Lucky, thereby freeing me of the moldy nightmare. *sigh* My poor Lucky. You used to be such a good boy! Anyway, things actually worked out later that night, as all things inevitably do. I called the Volkswagen dealership, which happens to be about a mile away from our apartment and they told me that they had an open service appointment first thing the next morning (excellent!) and that if I could get the car in before 7pm that night they could just keep it overnight in their garage (hurray!) AND that particular mechanical issue was still covered in my extended warranty and would be free of charge (huzzah!!) aaand I was able to skip work yesterday (whee!!!) morning so I could get the damn faulty window fixed. The flip side: As I was talking to the mechanic on the phone, I told him of my other more disgusting problem and he said that something of that nature would probably end up costing me upwards of $550 (as in, five hundred and fifty un-warranty-covered dollars) to fix. Zounds. I swear, by the time I can afford to get the leak fixed, there'll be mushrooms growing underneath the driver's seat. Hm.
• Seriously, at what age does it become unacceptable for a person's ass to smell like poo? I mean, literally. Like poopy doopies. I don't know, but I'm fairly certain that 27 is way beyond the cut-off age. I can't expound on this too much, for risk of incriminating somebody and consequently having them confront me, but I just had to put it out there. And no, I haven't been going around sniffing people's asses. But, just to be clear, when your hygeine has deteriorated to such a state that I can smell the dingleberries from your anus whenever you walk by me...dude. Something needs to be done. Please.

And on that note...my sister and her family are coming to visit me and Scott for the weekend in a couple of weeks! Wheee! Our (Scott and I) only goal for the trip - besides having massive amounts of fun, of course - is to convince Kristina and Greg that raw oysters are pure heaven. Because they are. They may not agree now, but with enough persuasion (i.e. holding their arms and legs down while shoving delicious oysters topped with lemon juice and tabasco sauce down their throats), I think they will be convinced. Oh my god, my stomach is now eating itself after writing this last paragraph. Time to go home and eat some leftover Indian curry! Mmmm...leftover Indian curry.