UPDATE.

Omg. You guys. I think we are getting a puppy.  *smacks forehead with palm*

A Shih Tzu, fer cryin' out loud...

Send all comments and virtual purple nurples to: schmooblebuns@gmail.com*

* not really

***

ETA: No! I will not go down without a fight! Operation If Schmooblebuns Refuses To Be Convinced That We Should Wait Before Getting A Puppy Then Damnit We Should At Least Get Something Less Annoying Than A F*ing Shih Tzu For Chrissake!! is now under way...

Calling all readers!  Help me find this dog:

1. Medium sized (apartment-approved maximum weight is 40 or 50)

2. Good with cats

3. Doesn't need a whole ton of exercise (although, I do need to raise my exercise regimen...)

4. Hypo-allergenic would be nice, but I typically become desensitized to new animals after several weeks of asthma-and-allergy-pill-popping 

5. Knows how to use a toilet, as well as flush afterwards, and can make daily trips to Star*ucks for me.

...Ok, that last one is just a pipe dream

***

Ugh, I keep changing my mind... Would a Shih Tzu really be all that bad?! Blergh.

O.M.G.

Schmooblebons has been all but begging on his hands and knees for me to agree to get a puppy for the last week. And I have been the party-pooping, nay-saying adult the whole time, talking about things like money and time and apartment-living and responsibility and BELA, etc etc etc. Despite every urge inside me to say OMG YES YES YES PUPPYPUPPYWUPPY I WOULD WUV HIM SO VEWY VEWY MUUUCH!! 

Someone in high heaven please tell me how and/or why I ended up being the responsible one in this relationship??

Also, someone please tell me how it is that Schmoobs also insists on wanting annoyingly small little yippy dogs with breed names like "Croodle" and "Yorkie Poo" or "Proodle Doodle Puff" (I made that last one up), when everybody knows that the only dogs that are capable of instantly penetrating the icy cold blackness of my heart are Beagles, Shepherds, Sheepdogs, Retrievers and anything that weighs more than me and that I could ride to school, were I still 12 years old. 

But, seriously, someone also needs to tell me why I shouldn't get in my car and go collect one OR ALL of these groin-grabbingly cute nuggets and bring them all home right this second! OUCH my heart just exploded!!

***

ETA: I heard this about 5 seconds before I passed out last night (from sleepiness or sheer shock, you decide): "Actually, you know what I really want? I think they're called...Goldendoodles."

I miss having friends.

In other news: Is it just me, or does Future Vice President of the United States Joe Biden sound just like Casey Casem? 

This is all my brain is capable of on a Saturday morning before I have gotten my morning Star*ucks Grand Soy Pumpkin Spice (yay!) latte.

Oh, and in other other news: Last night I learned that, at the ripe old age of twenty-eight, I can no longer tolerate drinking an entire Chili's El Presidente margarita order by myself without passing out on my living room floor wrapped in a comforter five minutes after arriving back home and attempting to watch Tivo-ed coverage of the Presidential debate and then waking up an hour later, guzzling roughly fifty gallons of water and then becoming unable to go back to sleep until a 3am shower and then watching the Food Network until 4:30 in the morning. Glargh.

ps. I was going to be all clever and paste a photo of a Chili's El Presidente margarita on here, except I was going to edit the picture so that "El Presidente" was crossed out and "Barack Obama" was typed on...except I can't f*ing figure out where the Mac equivalent of Microsoft Paint is on this blasted Macbook.  F*ing Macs. Harumph. A simple photo editing program! My kingdom for a simple photo editing program!!

"Alright kid, go play some long tones while I drink my coffee. GO!"

I start teaching tomorrow morning. At 7 in the am. (i.e. Roughly five hours before full functionality occurs). The end.

Ugh. Hello.

Yeah yeah yeah. I'm still here. 

1. I finally got a car. FINALLY. 2001 Isuzu Rodeo. Low miles. Bought with cash. No payments. He is no Lucky, but I suspect he will do the job. I've already started to refer to him (in my mind) as "Kablooie." Mainly because he is blue, and because I have been so conditioned by dear Lucky to feel as though the car I am driving may explode at any given moment. 

2. Did you know that it is scientifically proven that it takes everything TEN BILLION TIMES SLOWER to happen around here than anywhere else in the universe?! I am speaking specifically of the fact that I have been trying for the past week and a half to get our cable television situation properly installed and functional and I still find myself sitting on the couch at this moment waiting for the cable guy to show up YET AGAIN because, three f*ing appointments later, our DVR still isn't working. I'm looking at you, AT&T and Dish Network!!! We had an appointment scheduled yesterday to have the cable guy come and fix the blasted DVR, but as we had decided that it would be kosher to step out of the apartment to do a little thing like buy Kablooie, he apparently was unable to actually DO anything since he wasn't able to get inside the apartment despite the fact that we had officially given a Permission to Enter. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. And then when I very angrily-but-bitterly-restrained-through-gritted-teeth talked to an AT&T representative on the phone later that day, I was also told that the repairman couldn't do anything because the only problem listed on the work order was that "the DVR is not working" which was not specific enough. Oh really? Ok, let me sum this up for you: It won't record. It won't rewind. It won't fast forward. It won't pause. NONE OF THE DVR FUNCTIONS ARE WORKING WHICH MEANS THAT, YES, AS A WHOLE, THE DVR IS NOT WORKING. IS THAT SPECIFIC ENOUGH FOR YOU?! Ugh.

3. In related news: the f*ing cable guy is supposed to show up, as with every single time, between the hours of 8am and 8pm. He had better err on the side of 8 in the f*ing am because I need to step the hell out and drive Kablooie to Star*ucks before I rupture a cornea out of sheer frustration. 

4. In other news: I think I start teaching on Wednesday! Wheeee! At 7am! GAAAH!

5. The time off from blogging has done nothing but enhance my pleasant and sunny disposition, don't you think?

Hieeee.

I haven't blogged in a while, have I? Yeah, sorry, I've been too busy loving life in northern California. Did you know that northern California has been scientifically proven to be the Number One Most Beautimous and Awesomest Place To Live In the Entire Universe*? And that driving down Highway 12 in late summer to early fall is the Number One Drive Most Likely to Make Ysabel Run Through the Vineyards Until She Gets To an Oak Tree Then Chains Herself to Said Tree So That She Can Never Leave**?

* In a 2008 study by Johns Hopkins University. Not really. 

** Ibid.

Day Three. CHECK!

(un)Lucky is such a good boy! He got us to Santa Rosa safe and sound with - apart from some scary, dark mountain passes on Day One - no problems whatsoever. In reward, we drove him through a giant Redwood tree and took a picture. Note to all of you who have not driven down the coast through Oregon and California: DO IT. 

For now, it is late, I am in sore need of a shower and a bed...and I have three days of reality television to catch up on. Spater!