Blah. That's all.

All my feelings of stress/guilt/anxiety/ineptitude/despair/anger/poopiness/etc. about having not yet found a job has manifested itself physically in the form of a muscle spasm below my right eye that has been going full-blast nonstop for about an hour now. The first twenty seconds it was "cool." When it lasted five minutes it became "funny." Twenty minutes in I started becoming "peeved." And now I just want to "bash my head against this laptop continuously until the blessed spasming finally stops."

In any case, as you have just learned I am still unemployed. It's been my daily activity since I've been back now to respond to a dozen job postings on Craig's List and anxiously await the inevitable "Thank you for your response. The job has already been filled but we will keep your resume on file." message in my Inbox. Blast it all. And to make matters worse, I've already gone through all the past episodes of Felicity that had been TiVo-ed during my recent California vacation (Vacation? Vacation from what??) so my daily existence is just that much more empty and banal. Part of me says, "Just suck it up and go get another coffeeshop job. A paycheck is a paycheck, right?" While the other -- bigger and more likely to get its way -- side of me says, "Waaaaaaaahh! Noooooooooo!!!!"

So, blah.

Something will turn up. Even I know that. At least my resume is still "In review" for a job at the Graduate School at UW, but I was given a swift roundhouse kick of rejection for the job I was really hoping to get at the School of Music. Whatevs. Anyway, I should have a bunch of packets ready and mailed out to area public school music programs peddling my wares as a clarinet teacher, so hopefully that will illicit some response. But all this waiting and constant rejection is quite intolerable. Quite intolerable.

In other news, today has been the first gray and chilly day I've experienced in Seattle since we've been here. And should I ever catch myself complaining about it even for a moment, I just have to remind myself that, less than one month ago we were two seconds away from spontaneously combusting into a ball of fire whilst loading the damned U-Haul for two days on the surface of the Sun in Knoxville. "Oh wait, what? I should turn the heat on in the living room for a few minutes because it's kind of chilly in here? Well, don't mind if I do!!" Ha ha ha!

***

ps. And since I am still technically a clarinet player (I hope), I do have to say this: the sudden climate change today has made all my reeds turn to crap. Crappp!!! Where's a brand new box of Vandoren V-12s when you need one??!! My kingdom for a good reed!!!