In which Robin kicks me in the ass for neglecting this blog...so you can blame him for what you are about to read.

"Damn Ys, I read your blog for it's witty comments on office life, gluttony, and the like, not for sixty-question surveys!..."

Point taken, my friend.

Ok, so to swiftly get you crazies back to reality lest you start thinking that my blog-absence has actually had a negative effect on your day-to-day existence, here is the first thing that I can think of to share with you all -- and you can file it under the category of Waaaay Too Much Information:

I flew back to Seattle on Tuesday, and for the four days that followed my triumphant return, I did not have one single BM. That cannot be healthy, n'est-ce pas? And I don't get it, because for the 10 days that I was in California, embarking on my newly invigorated healthy-eating makeover, I was as regular as...well, I don't know what, but I was freaking regular, people. In one end and out the other, as they say. And I have been trying very hard (well, harder than I usually do) to keep up with the healthy eating since I've been back. Cutting back on the Diet Coke, not a single trip to any fast food joints -- despite Scott's regular attempts to break my resolve by putting a Jack ball inside my car and making it taunt me everytime we drive by a Jack-in-the-Box restaurant, drinking lots of water, taking my multi-vitamins, etc etc etc. I am becoming very distressed about all of this. Why are things not moving along? Perhaps Scott's insistence that girls don't poop has proven so intense that his twisted fantasy has actually come to fruition and I have completely lost the ability to perform this necessary human function... Anyway, I haven't been eating any less, that's for sure. The thought of all that stuff building up inside is quite disgusting, I'm sure you'll agree. Blech. Out! Out!! Ouuut!!!

Now, aren't you all glad that I've returned to my blog? Yeah, I didn't think so. I hope you've all learned your lesson. I still haven't gotten a job and I have lost all purpose in life, so much so that all I have to write about is my lack of movement in the bowel area. Hahaha. Ugh.

I need a job.