Really? Already?

1. Last month, I had uber-PMS for what seems like an eternity that made me curl up in the fetal position for three days, while I alternately demanded that Schmoobles leave my sight one minute and then rub my back the next minute. This time around, I got a mild backache in the morning and then the Monthly Confirmation That I Am Indeed Without Child later that afternoon. This thing that I call my body will never cease to confuse me.

2. When your city has been literally under a gray storm cloud for 6 months straight and you find yourself enjoying the sunshine for the first time since, what, September? October? and you feel compelled to go get yourself a latte and run some errands wearing a bright pink cardigan and matching headband over a high ponytail, you will be guaranteed at least a few smiles from random strangers in the grocery store.

3. Despite keeping on keeping on with my regular high-caffeine regimen, I have not had any movements in the booowel department for 2 days. This is both bothersome and confusing. That is all.

4. Twice now in the last week, I've attempted to make 2 different rice dishes. Both times I have overestimated the amount of water and/or underestimated the proper temperature to make a nice fluffy rice result and have ended up with the sticky, closer-to-porridge type of rice that, while tasty, was completely wrong for the type of dishes I was attempting to make. This makes me feel like an inferior brand Asian. Hmph.

5. My family is going on a week-long vacation to Hawaii next month. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzaaah!! Things on my itinerary:

• Go on a Lost tour. I have researched online, and have found no such official activity. I may have to make one up for myself.
• Go snorkeling and see the pretty fishies.
• Go surfing and remain standing up on the board for longer than 10 seconds.
• Go surfing and remain uneaten by sharks.
• Eat obscene amounts of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.
• Not think about my sh*tty job for one second.

6. Months ago I bought a fabulous shower head with which to replace the management-installed crappy shower head that came with our apartment that felt more like twenty midgets peeing on your head instead of the high-powered fire-nozzle of gloriousness that I prefer. Anyway, just a week ago I finally got around to asking our maintenance man to replace the shower heads. The new shower head, with all its high-pressured awesomeness is...awesome. What I failed to take into account, however, was the fact that it does not have an adjustable neck and is, unfortunately, permanently aimed at such an angle that it almost hits the wall directly across the shower head. This means that I now have to not only make sure that the shower curtain is pulled completely against the wall so that the water doesn't hit the wall and splatter out onto the bathroom floor, but I also have to learn how to shower while simultaneously hugging the far wall of the tub or else the water is too high to even reach my head. Urg. Oh well. The water pressure more than makes up for it. At least until I can get to Target and get a shower head with an adjustable neck.

7. I can't believe it's the end of the weekend already. Unacceptable. Someday, when I am Princess of the Universe, I will deem regular 4-day workweeks. That way, everyone can have the standard 2 days to do all the fun stuff they can't do when they're busy slaving away for The Man to earn their measly wages, and then also have one day to do nothing but lay down on the couch and watch television.