Only a quickie because I have two research papers due next week.

A quickie blog post, you perv.

Anyway.

A week ago, I had somehow convinced myself that I am perfectly capable of eating organic Greek yogurt without suffering the normal ramifications that come with my minor dairy allergy. I came to this conclusion through a highly intensive scientific process in which I had a sudden and uncontrollable craving for yogurt with strawberry preserves, so I practiced zero will power (par for the course) and went to our neighborhood hippie food co-op and bought some. Then I ate it. Then I determined that I didn't feel sick at all. So I ate another one the next day. And I felt only a liiiiittle bit sick.

So my conclusion was that I could eat organic Greek yogurt with delicious strawberry preserves on occasion with no consequence. But then I ate some more and now I'm getting the normal skin allergic reaction that come surfaces when I eat dairy. Damnit!

BLERGH.

So much for science.

Bulletproof Coffee: a follow-up

Something that I should have read more closely about this endeavor is that this is meant to be a breakfast "substitute." As in...a key aspect of it is that one full mug is supposedly enough to keep your belly satisfied and your mind and body energized throughout the morning, and you are not drawn to eat until the mid-afternoon. Hm. Maybe this works most of the time, especially when you up the fat content to the recommended 2 (or more!) tablespoons of each.

But it won't work if you (by "you" I mean "ME") are within two weeks of starting your Monthly Confirmation That You Are Without Child Woman Time. In which case, you will start off the day with a mug of delicious Bulletproof Coffee. And then chase it 5 minutes later with probably an illicit donut. And then maybe a plateful of leftovers from last night's dinner. And then some leftover Easter candy.

Long story short, I gained three pounds. Hahahhhahaha.

That's okay. I blame it on the PMS-ing. We'll see if this endeavor is more successful...in about one week.

***

Also: Exciting things are happening to me (exciting to me, anyway) in the world of music research and academia and general what-the-hell-is-my-purpose-and-path-in-life stuff. This, combined with my beginning the daily St. John's Wort supplement regimen AND the freaking arrival of real Spring FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY PLEASE I HOPE I DIDN'T JUST JINX IT OH GOD has put me in such a happy mood lately. I don't even recognize myself anymore.

And in an Easter twist...

I have decided to put myself on a post-Lenten restriction and just literally threw out a bag of bagel crisps, a bag of chips, a small bag of fried snacky things, and some sweet and sour sauce sugary syrup. I did not just fall off the slow-carb wagon, I Medieval-style catapulted off of it. (Yes, we were/are trying to cut processed sugars and grains from our diet. At least "slow-carb" allows you one cheat day a week.) I think my diet for the past week has consisted of only fried white foods dipped in sugary syrups. Ho boy. Enough is enough. But I also know myself enough to acknowledge that - even if I say I do not want to eat them anymore - if those things exist within my kitchen cabinets, I will be devouring them within the hour. So I sucked it up (by "it" I mean my ever-bloatating belly) and tossed it all into our garbage can outside.

And while we're on the subject of life improvements, I have started taking St. John's Wort (I don't know...I think it might make me an overall more pleasant and nice person?) as a supplement and am dipping my toes into this Bulletproof Coffee thing. So far, I find neither objectionable. Also, I have not yet committed to buying a hand blender, so my buttery coffee is basically just mega-oily black coffee. All I do is add a bit of organic coconut oil and another bit of Kerrygold into my mug before the coffee drips into it and then give it a good swirl before I throw it down the gullet sip it in a sophisticated fashion like an elegant lady. I got both the coconut oil and Kerrygold at Trader Joe's (yeah!) for cheap. The Kerrygold was only $3 and the coconut oil was made in the Philippines so you know it's excellent! Anyway, I don't add sweetener since I am just fine with plain coffee, but I do have to say that the butter and coconut oil do leave a smooth and nutty tasting coffee. I can only imagine how tasty it is if I were to actually emulsify the drink with a hand blender. Maybe I'll ask Schmoobs for a birthday hand blender or something.

Also, I totally am doing the Bulletproof Coffee in baby steps. Only maaaybe 1/4 teaspoon of both fats into my coffee this morning. Oof, can you imagine suddenly taking like 3 tablespoons of oil 3 pats of butter with your daily cup of coffee in the morning? Holy crap. Emphasis on crap!

Kumusta!

1. I just got back from a trip to the Philippines. It was pretty amazing. I have a zillion pictures. I have spent the last six hours trying to get Facebook to upload all of them correctly. I am currently 50 pictures away from being successful once and for all...

2. Maybe I should also upload them here so my non-Facebook friends/relatives can see them, too. Maybe next weekend. But term paper season is upon us, so probably that means "maybe tomorrow when I should be researching and writing instead."

3. Jet lag sucks.

(Pl)uck!

The good thing about standing in front of your bathroom mirror and wielding a pair of tweezers in one hand after taking a dose of Dayquil and then having a glass of wine with dinner is that plucking out all the gray hairs in your bangs is much less painful. The bad thing is that you accidentally pluck out like ten perfectly good black hairs for every one gray hair. Oops.

In related news: Holy (pl)uck, this Ph.D. program is creating A LOT of gray hairs!!! Waaaaaaah!!! It could also have something to do with me trying to soothe Schmooblebottoms as we ride through a storm of buying plane tickets for my older brother's wedding next month in the number one top rated beach in all of Asia and number two rated beach in the entire WORLD while beginning the process of house-hunting. Do you know how much it costs to fly internationally from anywhere near Lexington? The answer is 50% to 100% more than it costs to fly out of SFO or LAX. That's what. Blergh.

Anyway. I am also PMS-ing. This means that I am currently suffering from self-loathing after I have finished eating everything in sight despite the fact that I concurrently have a cold and can taste very little.

Well, I'm just a bundle of sunshine this evening, aren't I?

Enumerated things.

1. We are house hunting! Omg. This is too adult for me. But we looked at several houses yesterday and fell in love...with the first one we looked at. Of course. Let's see what happens.
2. I ate escargot for the first time last night. The taste was spectacular, but after 2 seconds of chewing, my brain realized there was a SLUG rolling around in my mouth and couldn't let it go.
3. The last two times Schmoobs and I went out to have dinner and drinks with some friends at nice, fancy schmancy establishments, I have ordered (happy) pork chops and both times the dish came underdone. And I have had to embarrass myself by sending the dish back both times to get cooked further so I don't get pork worms or something. Is this a thing now? Rare pork? At nice restaurants? Ugh. No pork for me next time, I think.

That is all. I have prepared two presentation outlines for my seminars tomorrow, but I have also neglected the four journal article readings that are due. Whoops. Ain't nobody got time for that! Literally.

I gave up making Resolutions years ago (right about the time my aging metabolism started to slow...) but I suppose this comes close.

After journeying back here to Grad School Land and slowly readjusting to life being the only One In The House Who Cooks (i.e. I was tired a lot and hence we ate out a lot.), it didn't take long for Schmoobs and I to really start feeling like our bodies were in need of getting back to regularly eating healthy, home-cooked meals (read: we were super bloated). The multitude of vestige holiday sweets still habitating every nook and cranny of our kitchen also did not help. And then yesterday, Schmooblebottoms was in our Room of A Thousand Unpacked Boxes lifting a box (duh) when he yelped out and whimpered, "I did something to my back." At first I thought it was just a minor pull that might wear off in the next hour or so, but as he lied down on the couch throughout the afternoon, it became clear that it was pretty bad. His attempts to even sit up resulted in him collapsing back into a horizontal heap on the couch and he literally could not even stand up for one second.

(Side note: Because of this - and because of some effing weird and annoying problem we've been having with our car alarm - I was the one who had to go outside in the frozen dark shadows and disconnect our car battery for the night so the alarm wouldn't wake us and the entire neighborhood up a hundred thousand times in the middle of the night. And I did it! Without electrocuting myself! I AM WOMAN!!)

Anyway, this is all to say that Schmoobles awoke this morning (able to walk, albeit gingerly, thank Jeebus!) determined to make some lifestyle changes that would promote better health. We have gone through these health kicks many times before, some more successful and long-lasting than others. But - and this is important - this is the first time that I saw him take all the unopened beers from the refrigerator and empty them out in the sink. Like, whoa. Go Schmoobs.

Long story short, I am really enjoying getting back into cooking at home, eating more meals in, and all around avoiding more bloatation (although I did have some cheesy poofs last night - hey, I'm human!). I even started a cute foodie cooking club Facebook group with a couple of Tennessee friends. Check it out and join if you want! And today, Schmoobles and I bought a fancy schmancy new Breville juicer and our first weekly supply of produce. Also, some happy chicken, salmon, and eggs because All Veggies And No Protein Makes Ysabel A Stabby Girl. And then when we got home I totally unpacked all the groceries and organized about the first few days worth of fruit, cucumber, celery, and carrots into instantly-juiceable little orderly containers. Look at my beautiful creation. LOOK AT IT!!!

So, that's it. While Schmooliedoos snoozes away on the couch resting his achy back, I am sitting here eating a delicious bowl of leftover homemade chicken kaldereta with spinach and rice. Oh, and a little glass of vodka and (fresh squeezed!) orange juice. Being healthier doesn't have to mean sucking out all of life's joyful pleasures, doy.