Toots & poots. orDon't read this post if you're eating.

I would just like the entire blogging community to know that Scott just farted in my face as retaliation for my rolling my eyes at him and saying "Duh" to something he said. And then rolling my eyes again and saying "Doy." It smelled like a combination of rotten eggs, diseased flesh and Jazz Strawberries & Cream Diet Pepsi. Hahaha. Ewwww. Also, a dear friend - who shall remain nameless unless he wishes to divulge his identity; bonus points for you if you guess who! - sent me a text message yesterday to inform me that he "just had the biggest BM in his entire life!" Is this all the universe kicking my karma in the arse for telling you all about my bowel issues last week? Eep. Sorry.

Also, I stayed true to my word last night and sent a saccharine-sweet and unbelievably charming email to the Front of House Operations Manager (i.e. my future supervisor...hahaha) at the UW concert hall to subtley (sp?) enlighten her of my overwhelming awesomeness. We'll see if I get any response... And by that, I mean, "I better get a response. Grrrr." Ah yes, that's more like it. Threatening with a hint of Bitterness: just my style. And I responded to an ad on Craig's List for a nearby music store that's looking to hire for their sales staff. Agh. Sales. Not my bag, baby. But at least I get to talk to people about music. That'll take some of the sting off.

"Oh, you'd like to purchase some clarinet reeds for your little child? And does your precious little jewel have a clarinet teacher? No? Oh, how fortuitous! Let me tell you of the Greatest Clarinet Teacher the World Has Ever Known..."

or

"Oh, you're a world famous orchestra conductor who just happens to be passing through northern Seattle on your way back to Berlin? And you are in desperate need of the Greatest Clarinet Player the World Has Ever Known? Oh, how fortuitous indeed!!"

Hahahahahaha. Yes, that's the plan.

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