Happy Valentine's Day!

or:

Happy Even Those Of Us In Relationships Will Be Inevitably Disappointed Due To The Ridiculous Standards Set By Hallmark And Hollywood That Nobody Can Live Up To Day!

In celebration, I have made a batch of traditional Valentine's Day Chicken Salad* and implore you to try my recipe because it - along with the Dvorak Cello Concerto and LOST - are officially The Greatest Things In The Universe.

Ysabel's Traditional Valentine's Day Chicken Salad

• 2 or 3-ish cups cooked chicken - chopped, shredded, whatever (I tend to use the meat from one whole rotisserie chicken...yum)
  
• 1/2 cup chopped white onion
  
• 1 cup red seedless grapes, halved
  
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  
• Mayonnaise - I don't know, 1/2 cup? 1 cup? Depends on how healthy delicious you want it to be
  
• Lemon juice - again, the amount depends on you. I'm a fanatic about lemon juice on chicken and seafood. If it were me, I'd put like a gallon...ok, not really, but a fair amount
  
• Curry powder - I don't know. Depends on how much you like curry. I'd suggest maybe 2 tablespoons?
  
• Tarragon leaves, chopped - I've never used fresh, only dried (from Target!), but I would imagine that fresh would be even better. I - thru the development of this recipe - have discovered that I am also a fanatic about tarragon. It's effing great. So I would use at least 2 tablespoons of this as well.
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Optional ingredients (all chopped): tomato, celery, walnuts or pecans

Mix all ingredients together. Stuff in a whole wheat pita along with some lettuce or other salad greens. Take big scrumptious bites whilst simultaneously fighting off BB who had been sitting anxiously at your feet with her tongue hanging out the entire time you were making the salad and who now wants her own pita sandwich. Important: I'm pretty sure onions and red grapes are poisonous to dogs, so...NO.

Notes: 

1. When I made this last night, I decided to use the Magic Bullet** that my dear mother gave us for Christmas to expertly chop up the rotisserie chicken skin (full of flavor, but who wants to eat big soggy wads of chicken skin in a chicken salad sandwich?) ... and I KILLED MY MAGIC BULLET. Sad, sad day. That thing was so much fun to use. All I know is that I set it on automatic while I stood mesmerized and staring into the Bullet as it gradually turned the big pieces of chicken skin into chicken skin pate (hahaha...gross). And then all of a sudden it started spewing smoke and then finally just quit working. Ugh. Sorry Mom.

2. I've been meaning to brag about this in my blog for almost a month now, but this new negative-paying job of mine, as you know, has been taking over my life...anyway: I've totally been making meals at home and eating in like SO MUCH since the New Year (all credit goes to Barack Obama, of course). It's been great. Pros: much less money hemorrhaging out to various neighborhood restaurants, significant reduction in belly blotation, and I kind of enjoy watching the Food Network and then being creatively inspired to try and make my own recipes. Cons: Um, I kind of miss the Churrasco Tipico meal from Gloria's. That plate is effing heaven on a plate. Anyway, I came up with this because, in the middle of teaching lessons last week, I broke down from mid-day hunger and decided to buy a sandwich at Star*ucks. They called it a "Tarragon Chicken Sandwich." It was effing amazing. But also, it was about the size of the palm of my hand and cost nearly $6. So I metaphorically lashed myself for spending that much of my hard-earned Monopoly money on a miniscule sandwich, and then decided I'd figure out how to make my own.

3. I think that, since I came back to Texas after the Holidays, I have had maybe one fast food meal (?? I don't even remember. Maybe I haven't had any...) and less than one dinner out per week. Which, to some people, may still seem like a lot, but considering that Schmoobs and I were eating out for almost every dinner (Ugh. Stupid! Stupid!), this is a huge improvement so be happy for me.

*****

In other, quasi-related news: Schmoobs has been out of town for the past 3 days at the annual Insanely Ginormous Texas Band-Orchestra-Choir-Nerd Convention  and is currently en route back here. Unfortunately, I think that by the time he gets back, it will be too late to do any official Showing To The General Public That We Are In A Relationship So Neener Neener Dinner. BUT there will definitely be time for more important things, such as his finally watching this week's episode of LOST on DVR, while I watch it for the third time whilst simultaneously trolling a variety of LOST blogs and eating perhaps another Traditional Valentine's Day Chicken Salad Sandwich. It'll be awesome. 

Plus, we've decided to do a nice dinner tomorrow instead, so...hmmm, Churrasco Tipico and an ice cold dirty martini anyone? Yes please!

*****

Oh, and since it is VD: I was listening to NPR in my car the other day (again, in between teaching lessons, of course) and they were having this "Valentine's Day Love Slam." The first poem I heard (and my favorite) was the one by Olu Burrell. Gentlemen, if you really want to woo a lady, forget the flowers and chocolate (even though those are nice as well) and write something like this for her, okay? 

Four-Letter World, by Olu Burrell.

It softens even my cold and blackened heart...at least a little bit.

* Clearly, no such thing. But I make an incredible chicken salad and wanted to share it with you.

** I loved this little contraption so much that, last week, I found myself waiting up an extra hour past 1:30am despite being extraordinarily tired, because the TV listings showed that the Magic Bullet infomercial was scheduled to air at 2:30. True story. It was totally worth it.