What is this "labor" you speak of?

Happy "Labor" Day everyone. To celebrate, I am filling my day with as much non-laboriousness as possible. So far, I have taken a shower, put on my pair of yellow-moons-with-happy-faces pajama pants and requisite clashing orange t-shirt, plopped down on the couch, wrapped myself in my second-favorite comfy blanket, and have been flipping through marathon showings of "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" on the Travel Channel and "America's Next Top Model" on MTV. Sweetness. Also, I should note that I first began typing this post 4 hours ago. At that point, I had about 3 paragraphs of witty, humorous and clever anecdotes ready to share. And then this infernal hunk of metal and wires decided to randomly shut down before I had a chance to save anything beyond the first two sentences...consarnit!!! Anyway, now that I've had a few hours to cool down, I'm going to try again.

1. Note to self: Make Scott clean out Bela's litter box before he heads home to California for the weekend in order to see his family and to watch the Cal vs. Tennessee football game (go Vols!), so you do not find yourself hovering over the long-neglected box of filth, breathing through your mouth while scooping out the massive collection of cat turdies and piss-soaked litter whose fumes have been left to ferment for so long that it is burning through your esophagus and causing your eyes to water. Yes. Duly noted.

2. I have eaten way too much in fiber-deficient foods during this extended weekend and now I feel as though things are, so they say, a little backed up on the expressway (See? Methaphors!). To remedy this, I have brewed up a fresh pot of extra-strong coffee to help speed things up. Keep your fingers crossed.

3. This morning in the shower, I shampooed and conditioned my hair with this fabulous Shiseido Tsubaki hair care set that my wonderful mommy got for me on her trip to the motherland this summer. It is fabulous. Oh wait, I already said that. Anyway, it made my long locks so beautimous and luxurious that I no longer want to chop my hair off. There. The choice has been made. I will almost certainly, though, probably change my mind again the next time I see some girl with a cute bobbed haircut on tv and instantly convince myself that I must have her hair. *sigh* Such is the life of a female.

4. I think the coffee may be starting to work. Joy!

5. I had a very scintillating phone conversation with my friend Ben (also known as "Daddy #1) earlier this afternoon during which he pointed out that girls do not necessarily pee while they poo (Yes, this is what we talk about on the phone, and, yes, this is why we are such good friends), whereas, according to him, boys always have to pee at least just a little bit everytime they poo. Is this true? And if this is, why did I not know about this before? I tried to Google this subject to see if I could find any documentation to further support this statement, but after Googling such subjects as "boys pee while poo" and "male urinate during poo," I felt the need to give up the study before coming across any substantial support. Perhaps this is a project I can continue further while at work tomorrow.

6. And finally, in between Tony Bourdain and Tyra Banks today, I also watched a little bit of Oprah (Ah, the trifecta!) and noticed this:




Yes, indeed. How often do you clean? Hopefully, often enough that you never find hidden filth in your ho. Hahaha. And you are reading that correctly. The woman on this show had kept the same underwear for THIRTY YEARS. Get thee to a Target, woman!

And on that note: I hope everyone has had a wonderful 3-day weekend. Back to the grind tomorrow...


UPDATE: Oh, coffee. So predictable. So efficient. :)