Um...yeah.

I made the brilliant idiotic brilliotic™ decision to take some nighttime cold/flu medication last night which resulted in my last coherent memory of the night being my slumping down on the couch with reruns of The Office on the television and then Schmooblebuns having to wake me up and guide me to the bed at 2am (3am? 4am?) while I stumbled around like a drunk. Nothing like generic-brand Nyquil to make you feel like you just got sucker punched in the face. But, whatever, as long as it gets rid of my consumption.

OH YEAH, THERE'S THIS: Then I woke up at 5:30 in the morning to the sound of SOMEBODY OPENING OUR FRONT DOOR. At first I thought, "Hm...I wonder why Schmooblebuns is going out this early in the morning?" but then I rolled over and HE WAS LYING IN BED NEXT TO ME PASSED OUT. Jeebus Christ. BB - brave little girl that she is (!!!) - actually jumped up off the bed at the sound of the door as well and went to investigate. This happened, obviously, while I was busy sitting upright in bed peeing in my pants. Luckily, the door closed back shut again about two seconds later and I heard no angry barking from BB. Her head appeared unscathed at the bedroom door a moment later, which I took as a sign that my little ten-pound Ewok baby had successfully frightened off the would-be murderer. Just to be safe, I gingerly tiptoed out of the bedroom and peeked my head around to see if there were any axe-wielding body hackers hiding around the corner - luckily there were none. Thank Jeebus I had Nyquil-drunkenly passed out with my contact lenses still in last night or this all could have been much more terrifying. Anyway, I ended up walking around and turning all the lights on and checking behind every possible murderer-hiding-place (In the bathtub behind the shower curtain: CHECK!) and then lying in bed for another hour while occasionally shoving Schmoobles in his sleep as passive-aggressive punishment for snoring through this whole ordeal and for not locking the doors in the first place. 

Note #1: Was that just some drunken idiot accidentally walking into the wrong apartment at 5:30 in the morning?

Note #2: Or did I actually just imagine all that in my head due to my narcotic-induced stupor?