6.29.2007
6.25.2007
Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!
1. Oy, my aching shoulder! When I got home from work today I had to pop an Ibuprofen and put a heating pad on my defective shoulder which has been hurting for over a year now. Agh. The crazy hippies with whom I am slowly growing accustomed to habitating with in the Pacific Northwest (and Heidi, I believe) have recommended acupuncture to me as an alternative therapy. Oh, you mean there's something out there that's better than paying a $30 co-pay, and then waiting in the waiting room for 2 hours only to have your doctor do 3 minutes worth of lame-o tests and then come to the conclusion that you just need to take some Advil and "stop doing whatever you're doing" when your shoulder starts hurting? Hm.
2. While I was at "work" the other day, I just happened to be perusing the Myspace pages of my friends when I noticed that Sarah L. had received the wonderful gift of rhyme (wait, they were haikus, so never mind...) from Dan on her Myspace page. And because I was starved for attention what with being Scott-less for a couple of weeks, I admonished Dan for not writing me witty poetry as well. And because he is such a swell guy, Dan proceeded to compose me a series of the best limericks EVER. And because I am awesome, I thanked Dan profusely. And because he is a whiny little bitch, Dan left me a comment on my last post complaining that I never mentioned the proof of his rhyming skillz on this blog. And because I want to get him off my back, here is a transcription of the truly awesome set of hilarious limericks that Dan wrote for me (Happy now, DAN?!):
I know you're so lonely you're sick.
It's just you and your cursed devil-stick.
You wanted haiku,
but sorry for you,
You just get this dumb limerick.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
There once was a girl named Ys.
She played the Devil-Stick just like a Wiz.
But just for enjoyment
she sought out employment
out west where her sweetie pie lives.
She then got a job selling music
to others who might want to use it.
She got a PC
and autonomy
and enough free time for her to abuse it.
One day while she drove her car, Lucky
she noticed a smell that was quite ucky.
The rain and the cold
had spawned so much mold
she could only exclaim "Oh f*** me!"
Then one day Scott went to drum corps
and as soon as he got out the front door
she cried, "Woe is me!
I'll be so lonely!"
But that dear is what Myspace is for.
Sorry I had to call you a whiny little bitch, Dan. You know, sometimes the truth hurts. Just kidding :) Thanks again for writing this piece of brilliance!
3. Scott is coming home to visit tomorrow!!! YAY!!! I am overcome with joy because, a. I miss my schmoobliewooblies, and b. Bela, although far surpassing the five-day craziness mark, definitely began the Going Crazy And Trying To Kill Ysabel process the other night when he kept trying to eat my big toe for no reason and eventually bit my foot and made me so scared for my life that I jumped on the couch and hid under a big comforter for protection while I slowly waited for Bela to snap out of his pyschosis.
UPDATE: Oh noooo!!!
2. While I was at "work" the other day, I just happened to be perusing the Myspace pages of my friends when I noticed that Sarah L. had received the wonderful gift of rhyme (wait, they were haikus, so never mind...) from Dan on her Myspace page. And because I was starved for attention what with being Scott-less for a couple of weeks, I admonished Dan for not writing me witty poetry as well. And because he is such a swell guy, Dan proceeded to compose me a series of the best limericks EVER. And because I am awesome, I thanked Dan profusely. And because he is a whiny little bitch, Dan left me a comment on my last post complaining that I never mentioned the proof of his rhyming skillz on this blog. And because I want to get him off my back, here is a transcription of the truly awesome set of hilarious limericks that Dan wrote for me (Happy now, DAN?!):
I know you're so lonely you're sick.
It's just you and your cursed devil-stick.
You wanted haiku,
but sorry for you,
You just get this dumb limerick.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
There once was a girl named Ys.
She played the Devil-Stick just like a Wiz.
But just for enjoyment
she sought out employment
out west where her sweetie pie lives.
She then got a job selling music
to others who might want to use it.
She got a PC
and autonomy
and enough free time for her to abuse it.
One day while she drove her car, Lucky
she noticed a smell that was quite ucky.
The rain and the cold
had spawned so much mold
she could only exclaim "Oh f*** me!"
Then one day Scott went to drum corps
and as soon as he got out the front door
she cried, "Woe is me!
I'll be so lonely!"
But that dear is what Myspace is for.
Sorry I had to call you a whiny little bitch, Dan. You know, sometimes the truth hurts. Just kidding :) Thanks again for writing this piece of brilliance!
3. Scott is coming home to visit tomorrow!!! YAY!!! I am overcome with joy because, a. I miss my schmoobliewooblies, and b. Bela, although far surpassing the five-day craziness mark, definitely began the Going Crazy And Trying To Kill Ysabel process the other night when he kept trying to eat my big toe for no reason and eventually bit my foot and made me so scared for my life that I jumped on the couch and hid under a big comforter for protection while I slowly waited for Bela to snap out of his pyschosis.
UPDATE: Oh noooo!!!
6.22.2007
Fantasy Toy #1
If I were a spoiled, bratty little Super Sweet Sixteen-er, this is what I'd totally demand from my parents. Ah, how quickly I forget all the headaches my (un)Lucky gives me on a daily basis. He really must be baby boy after all.
6.20.2007
I got a raise! I got a raise! I got raise!
I'd elaborate, but I'm too busy doing backflips towards our fabulous outdoor heated pool while simultaneously popping open the bottle of Chateau St. Jean Gewurtraminer that I had been saving for a special occasion. Wheee!!! ...Okay, I may have been exaggerating ever so slightly. I am actually sitting on the couch typing on my laptop whilst trying not to vomit from the nausea because I had to take my left contact lens out (damn you, allergies!!) and now I'm getting a headache. But who the hell cares?! I got a raise!!!
Also, apparently, (UN)Lucky blew a hose. Whatever that means. He is all better now, but I am racking my brain trying to figure out how to go about getting myself to the car repair shop to pick him up without having to leave Scott's truck there. These are the things you have to figure out when you have no friends nearby, I guess. Bah.
ps. Speaking of taking my contact lens out: Right after I did it, my eye started watering like crazy and now it feels like somebody dropped some acid mixed with tabasco-laced lemon juice in there. Ugh. I will be counting down the hours until my (insurance covered! huzzah!) eye appointment this Friday where I anticipate collecting an entire year's worth of brand new contact lenses. Mmmm...non-crusty contact lenses.
Also, apparently, (UN)Lucky blew a hose. Whatever that means. He is all better now, but I am racking my brain trying to figure out how to go about getting myself to the car repair shop to pick him up without having to leave Scott's truck there. These are the things you have to figure out when you have no friends nearby, I guess. Bah.
ps. Speaking of taking my contact lens out: Right after I did it, my eye started watering like crazy and now it feels like somebody dropped some acid mixed with tabasco-laced lemon juice in there. Ugh. I will be counting down the hours until my (insurance covered! huzzah!) eye appointment this Friday where I anticipate collecting an entire year's worth of brand new contact lenses. Mmmm...non-crusty contact lenses.
6.18.2007
In which Ysabel is served her Karmic retribution for poking (good-natured, alright?!) fun at the Catholic faith two posts ago...
So I have a meeting scheduled with Current Bossman this Wednesday to discuss a pay raise. As I walked into work this morning, I mentioned this fact to my assistant and the discussion eventually led to me saying these fateful words: "...because, you know, at the wage I'm earning right now, if something should, for example, happen to my car and I need to get it fixed, I wouldn't be able to afford it, and I don't want to deal with that..."
And I kid you not, later this afternoon as I was pulling into one of our other store locations to drop off a delivery, the temperature gauge on my dashboard all of a sudden shot up and my car f*ing overheated.
There are so many curse words I want to type out in a highly aggressive manner, full of italics, and CAPITALS and BOLDSPACE and UNDERLINES and EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! .....but I won't because I'm too scared out of my gourd to test the unforgiving and vindictive hands of fate any more than I already apparently have. So, to you, Universe, I say this: poopy doopies!!!
The bright side in all of this (and it took me several hours post-work -- after I had to ask my assistant and her husband for a ride home... -- of therapeutic phone calls to old friends and a lengthy dip in this pool to even reach the point where I can pull a 'bright side' out of my arse) is that I now have a fire under my butt about my current money situation and and completely determined to not leave my Wednesday meeting without (said with chin up and fist in the air) the salary I need and deserve! *sigh* Nothing like utter devastation and helplessness to motivate one to demand more money, eh? Anyway, now all I have to do is figure out a way get by between now and next Friday. First step tomorrow is to take Scott's truck back to the store parking lot where (UN!!!)Lucky is currently parked, gingerly drive (UN!!!)Lucky to the nearby VW repair-shop, flirt sufficiently with one of the mechanics so he will give me a lift back to the store, and pick up Scott's truck and head to work. Criminy. And now all of you just have to leave a comment here to make me feel better. And I think it should involve the words "gin" "tonic" and "I will buy you."
And I kid you not, later this afternoon as I was pulling into one of our other store locations to drop off a delivery, the temperature gauge on my dashboard all of a sudden shot up and my car f*ing overheated.
There are so many curse words I want to type out in a highly aggressive manner, full of italics, and CAPITALS and BOLDSPACE and UNDERLINES and EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! .....but I won't because I'm too scared out of my gourd to test the unforgiving and vindictive hands of fate any more than I already apparently have. So, to you, Universe, I say this: poopy doopies!!!
The bright side in all of this (and it took me several hours post-work -- after I had to ask my assistant and her husband for a ride home... -- of therapeutic phone calls to old friends and a lengthy dip in this pool to even reach the point where I can pull a 'bright side' out of my arse) is that I now have a fire under my butt about my current money situation and and completely determined to not leave my Wednesday meeting without (said with chin up and fist in the air) the salary I need and deserve! *sigh* Nothing like utter devastation and helplessness to motivate one to demand more money, eh? Anyway, now all I have to do is figure out a way get by between now and next Friday. First step tomorrow is to take Scott's truck back to the store parking lot where (UN!!!)Lucky is currently parked, gingerly drive (UN!!!)Lucky to the nearby VW repair-shop, flirt sufficiently with one of the mechanics so he will give me a lift back to the store, and pick up Scott's truck and head to work. Criminy. And now all of you just have to leave a comment here to make me feel better. And I think it should involve the words "gin" "tonic" and "I will buy you."
6.15.2007
Lustful, eh? Eeeeeenterestink.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
***
In other news: Why must I insist on endlessly listening to Miss Saigon in my car and watching scenes from it on YouTube?! It is so f*ing depressing. *sob*
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Moderate |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Low |
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
***
In other news: Why must I insist on endlessly listening to Miss Saigon in my car and watching scenes from it on YouTube?! It is so f*ing depressing. *sob*
6.14.2007
Oy, the Catholic-ness! With the self-judging! And the need to deprive myself of all things good and enjoyable!
So I've decided to cut back on the dairy. Not even real dairy, since I'm slightly lactose intolerant. I'm cutting back on soy milk. You know what this means: No more soy lattes for Ysabel.
*pause for dramatic effect*
That sound you just heard was my blackened heart turning so dark it metamorphosized into a lump of charcoal and then crumbled into a million pieces, eventually leaving nothing but a pile of gray dust in the very depths of my soul.
...Oh, who am I kidding? I could never cut lattes out of my life completely! I'm just trying to keep it at a minimum since I have convinced myself that the excessive drinking of the lattes and the eating of all the cookies at work were making me a little soft around the edges. Specifically, the edge directly underneath my chin. Incidentally, this makes me think of a few years ago when I was stuck in the literal depths of hell (i.e. central Missouri) for an entire summer playing with the Missouri Chamber Orchestra and, as a (retarded) way of 1. saving money and 2. thinking I was being healthy, I went for two months straight eating almost nothing but raisin bagels and soy milk. I'm not kidding. I thought, hey! bagels and soy milk! and doing nothing but sitting on your butt and playing clarinet! and enjoying the occasional adult rerfreshment with your fellow musicians! What could possibly be better for your health?! What a dolt.
Anyway, I've been doing my best to work around my latest self-imposed constraint and have been drinking more tea, coffee with only a small bit of cream* and -- miracle of miracles! -- good ol' fashioned water. And coconut juice. Especially the kind with pieces of young coconut** in it. Mmm...tropically goodness. See how healthy I am?!
Speaking of healthy, I was bored after I came home from work today and decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Sunset comes freakishly late in these parts, and what with the slowness at work and my subsequent leaving of the office freakishly early on some days (today, for example), as well as with Scott currently sunburning himself to a crisp in Drum Corps Land and, concurrently, Bela's lack of conversational skills, I felt the need to get out for a while. Anyway, don't ask me how, but I somehow found my way back at that Thai restaurant where Scott and I saw Papa Dwight last weekend. I got a Thai iced tea***. It was delicious. I cannot seem to stay away from the Thai-related food products. It may be developing into a problem.
On my way back, I dropped by our apartment rental office to drop off a check for our water bill and I heard some voices coming from the direction of our outdoor pool. Turns out our pool is now open! I had no idea! I checked last week and the pool was dry and I was sad. Anyway, I went in the gate to see how people could possibly be enjoying themselves in the pool when it was like only 62 degrees outside. Well, durn me, the pool was freaking heated! Long story short, you all now know where I shall be for the remainder of the summer... Huzzah!
* This morning at work I put my bit of half-and-half into my mug first and then stuck it in the microwave to heat it up, so as to maximize the heat-potential of my cup of coffee, and when I took my mug out of the microwave, I caught a good whiff of the warm milk. It smelled alarmingly good. Has anyone else noticed how good steamed milk smells? I think it reminded me of when I used to heat up a bowl of milk in the microwave for my (Greatest Cat in the History of the Universe Ever Even Though Bela Comes in at a Very Close Second) cat Buddy when I was growing up. Little did I know that cow's milk is actually not good for cats. Forgive me Buddy! I only wanted the best for you! Anyway, nuked milk smells really good. On that note, is anyone else disturbed by the fact that I was so taken by the smell of my warm milk that I had to write about it in my blog?
** By the way, every time I've tried to type the word "coconut" I end up typing something that looks like a very bad word at the end of it. I'll leave you to determine what that word is. It's too dirty! ...and would require me to say 10 holy rosaries in penitence.
*** I am fully aware that Thai iced tea contains copious amounts of dairy and sugar. Agh! Shortest Period of Self-Imposed Denial Before Succumbing to the Delicious Temptation Ever! I'm only human...
*pause for dramatic effect*
That sound you just heard was my blackened heart turning so dark it metamorphosized into a lump of charcoal and then crumbled into a million pieces, eventually leaving nothing but a pile of gray dust in the very depths of my soul.
...Oh, who am I kidding? I could never cut lattes out of my life completely! I'm just trying to keep it at a minimum since I have convinced myself that the excessive drinking of the lattes and the eating of all the cookies at work were making me a little soft around the edges. Specifically, the edge directly underneath my chin. Incidentally, this makes me think of a few years ago when I was stuck in the literal depths of hell (i.e. central Missouri) for an entire summer playing with the Missouri Chamber Orchestra and, as a (retarded) way of 1. saving money and 2. thinking I was being healthy, I went for two months straight eating almost nothing but raisin bagels and soy milk. I'm not kidding. I thought, hey! bagels and soy milk! and doing nothing but sitting on your butt and playing clarinet! and enjoying the occasional adult rerfreshment with your fellow musicians! What could possibly be better for your health?! What a dolt.
Anyway, I've been doing my best to work around my latest self-imposed constraint and have been drinking more tea, coffee with only a small bit of cream* and -- miracle of miracles! -- good ol' fashioned water. And coconut juice. Especially the kind with pieces of young coconut** in it. Mmm...tropically goodness. See how healthy I am?!
Speaking of healthy, I was bored after I came home from work today and decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Sunset comes freakishly late in these parts, and what with the slowness at work and my subsequent leaving of the office freakishly early on some days (today, for example), as well as with Scott currently sunburning himself to a crisp in Drum Corps Land and, concurrently, Bela's lack of conversational skills, I felt the need to get out for a while. Anyway, don't ask me how, but I somehow found my way back at that Thai restaurant where Scott and I saw Papa Dwight last weekend. I got a Thai iced tea***. It was delicious. I cannot seem to stay away from the Thai-related food products. It may be developing into a problem.
On my way back, I dropped by our apartment rental office to drop off a check for our water bill and I heard some voices coming from the direction of our outdoor pool. Turns out our pool is now open! I had no idea! I checked last week and the pool was dry and I was sad. Anyway, I went in the gate to see how people could possibly be enjoying themselves in the pool when it was like only 62 degrees outside. Well, durn me, the pool was freaking heated! Long story short, you all now know where I shall be for the remainder of the summer... Huzzah!
* This morning at work I put my bit of half-and-half into my mug first and then stuck it in the microwave to heat it up, so as to maximize the heat-potential of my cup of coffee, and when I took my mug out of the microwave, I caught a good whiff of the warm milk. It smelled alarmingly good. Has anyone else noticed how good steamed milk smells? I think it reminded me of when I used to heat up a bowl of milk in the microwave for my (Greatest Cat in the History of the Universe Ever Even Though Bela Comes in at a Very Close Second) cat Buddy when I was growing up. Little did I know that cow's milk is actually not good for cats. Forgive me Buddy! I only wanted the best for you! Anyway, nuked milk smells really good. On that note, is anyone else disturbed by the fact that I was so taken by the smell of my warm milk that I had to write about it in my blog?
** By the way, every time I've tried to type the word "coconut" I end up typing something that looks like a very bad word at the end of it. I'll leave you to determine what that word is. It's too dirty! ...and would require me to say 10 holy rosaries in penitence.
*** I am fully aware that Thai iced tea contains copious amounts of dairy and sugar. Agh! Shortest Period of Self-Imposed Denial Before Succumbing to the Delicious Temptation Ever! I'm only human...
6.11.2007
The Monday blues...
You know what's not a smart thing to do if you're all sad and girly-like after your boyfriend has gone out of town for the summer? Listen to Miss Saigon for like 5 days straight. I've been listening to it non-stop in my car for the past week and spent the majority of yesterday online watching an illegal pirated video of a Broadway production of it posted on YouTube. I'm so totally depressed. Stupid Chris* deserting Kim after knocking her up and then getting married to some white chick so that Kim has no choice but to kill herself so her illegitimate child can be raised in the United States! Ugh, not cool, man. Not cool.
***
In other news, today for lunch I went next door to Steve's and had a cup of navy bean soup. What I really wanted was to go across the street for more Tom Kha Gai, but I thought that 4 times in the last 5 days would be a little excessive. Anyway, turns out the navy bean was too salty and strangely congealed -- too much cornstarch for thickening, I presume -- and I would have been much better off getting my beloved Tom Kha. Lesson of the Day? There can never be such a thing as excessive Thai food consumption.
***
Oh, and one other thing: Some mysterious benefactor deposited $100 into my checking account last Friday. I have already asked my father and all of my siblings and they have all said that it wasn't them. It's not my mother because she is currently on the other hemisphere and -- I'm assuming -- not within any convenient distance of a Bank of America ATM. Who could it possibly be? I would be more thrilled at this mystery money if it didn't imply that somebody out there unbeknownst to me has my bank account number. Hm.
*Also? Peter Cousens = Worst Singer in the Role of Chris Ever.
***
In other news, today for lunch I went next door to Steve's and had a cup of navy bean soup. What I really wanted was to go across the street for more Tom Kha Gai, but I thought that 4 times in the last 5 days would be a little excessive. Anyway, turns out the navy bean was too salty and strangely congealed -- too much cornstarch for thickening, I presume -- and I would have been much better off getting my beloved Tom Kha. Lesson of the Day? There can never be such a thing as excessive Thai food consumption.
***
Oh, and one other thing: Some mysterious benefactor deposited $100 into my checking account last Friday. I have already asked my father and all of my siblings and they have all said that it wasn't them. It's not my mother because she is currently on the other hemisphere and -- I'm assuming -- not within any convenient distance of a Bank of America ATM. Who could it possibly be? I would be more thrilled at this mystery money if it didn't imply that somebody out there unbeknownst to me has my bank account number. Hm.
*Also? Peter Cousens = Worst Singer in the Role of Chris Ever.
6.10.2007
Papa Dwight!
Last night, Scott and I went to dinner at this really good Thai* place that's right around the corner from our apartment when I noticed that sitting at a table on the other side of the room was an older gentleman that looked just like an older version of Dwight Schrute. I mean, he looked exactly like him but like 25 years in the future! Scott pointed out that there was a very good chance that he could have been Rainn Wilson's dad because he is from here, and Rainn actually grew up in Shoreline, which is like right near where we live and, incidentally, about three miles from the Thai place where we were very politely dining ravenously stuffing our faces full of tasty treats. Anyway, I thought about going over to his table after he left to see if he signed his credit card receipt as "(Something) Wilson," but I thought that might look a little shady. Oh well.
*****
Also, Scott left this morning to embark on his Summer of Drum Corpsy (that word looks macabre) Goodness. Therefore, Ysabel is:
a. Wallowing in self-pity at how much she is going to miss her schmoobles.
b. Excited at the prospect of getting out and enjoying all the fun stuff to do in Seattle that there hasn't been time and/or non-rainy days to enjoy thus far.
c. Stoked that multiple people came up to her at the last UW Wind Ensemble gig yesterday to ask if she wanted to hang out this summer.
d. Fearing what will happen in approximately five days, which is roughly how much time passes when Scott goes out of town before Bela becomes literally insane and tries to eat Ysabel.
e. Looking forward to eating the Thai leftovers from last night.
* I know that this means that this marks the third time I have had Thai food for a meal in the last 4 days. Jealous? In case you care (or just because it brings me joy just to even mention it's deliciousness), we had Tom Kha (sp?), Pad Kee Mao (sp?) and Mussaman (sp?) Curry. Ah, Thai food: so delicious, yet so difficult to remember how to spell.
*****
Also, Scott left this morning to embark on his Summer of Drum Corpsy (that word looks macabre) Goodness. Therefore, Ysabel is:
a. Wallowing in self-pity at how much she is going to miss her schmoobles.
b. Excited at the prospect of getting out and enjoying all the fun stuff to do in Seattle that there hasn't been time and/or non-rainy days to enjoy thus far.
c. Stoked that multiple people came up to her at the last UW Wind Ensemble gig yesterday to ask if she wanted to hang out this summer.
d. Fearing what will happen in approximately five days, which is roughly how much time passes when Scott goes out of town before Bela becomes literally insane and tries to eat Ysabel.
e. Looking forward to eating the Thai leftovers from last night.
* I know that this means that this marks the third time I have had Thai food for a meal in the last 4 days. Jealous? In case you care (or just because it brings me joy just to even mention it's deliciousness), we had Tom Kha (sp?), Pad Kee Mao (sp?) and Mussaman (sp?) Curry. Ah, Thai food: so delicious, yet so difficult to remember how to spell.
6.07.2007
Delicieux!
Hey, you know what is officially The Greatest Thing Ever In the History of the Universe? Tom Kha soup, that's what. This finding was based on hundreds of hours* of scientific research involving me sitting at my desk incredibly bored with nothing to do but continue to clean out my gmail archives (which, by the way, has been like a three-day long project and counting...) and eat some Thai food.
** In actuality, 13 minutes of non-stop slurping and chewing. Delicious slurping and chewing. Except for yesterday, when I was also sitting at my desk eating some Tom Kha and chatting with Sarah and Joan online (Wait, did I say that? I meant "working ferociously on task." Yeah, that's what I meant.) and I started chewing on something small, green and leafy and my entire face instantly caught on fire. I have no idea what that thing was, but it was nuclear! Mmm...nuclear.
** In actuality, 13 minutes of non-stop slurping and chewing. Delicious slurping and chewing. Except for yesterday, when I was also sitting at my desk eating some Tom Kha and chatting with Sarah and Joan online (Wait, did I say that? I meant "working ferociously on task." Yeah, that's what I meant.) and I started chewing on something small, green and leafy and my entire face instantly caught on fire. I have no idea what that thing was, but it was nuclear! Mmm...nuclear.
6.03.2007
I scream, you scream, we all scream for HOT DOGS!!!
...wait, that's not how the rhyme goes.
Could it be, my beloved Kobayashi may finally be unseated as Master of the (Weiner) Universe??
It matters not, Joey Chestnut. Only the annual 4th of July Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island matters. This is where the true champion shall be named king -- and it shall be KOBAYASHI!
Could it be, my beloved Kobayashi may finally be unseated as Master of the (Weiner) Universe??
It matters not, Joey Chestnut. Only the annual 4th of July Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island matters. This is where the true champion shall be named king -- and it shall be KOBAYASHI!
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