OMG. Doy!

Why in the hell have I been sitting at my desk for the past three hours virtually begging people to IM me because I'm so bored (and also it's Friday so I don't want to do any actual work) when I could have been on the LOST forums this whole entire time analyzing every little last bit of last night's new episode?? Durr. Off to go do just that right now! Have a good weekend!

I have applied for this job:

Music Librarian

Seattle Opera is accepting applications for the position of Music Librarian. This full time exempt position reports to the Music Administrator. Duties include: Researching, procuring and executing all musical parts preparation required for the orchestra and chorus; serving as main contact to the orchestra musicians for parts preparation needs; organizing and maintaining the company library; acting as resource to staff for musical references; providing orchestral set-up information to technical staff; overseeing the company recording equipment and its use; maintaining the audio and video archives, serving as principal support to Music Administrator.

Qualifications

• Music education or equivalent with an emphasis on orchestral experience required.
• Preference will be given to those with extensive knowledge of operatic repertoire and with orchestra library experience.
• Complete understanding of orchestral scores with ability to read fluently in all clefs, and transpose and copy music by hand in neat manuscript.
• Background and experience in computer applications (Sibelius, word processing, spreadsheet, and database).
• Excellent communication skills, both oral and written.
• Ability to multitask, strong organizational and time management skills.
• Familiarity with Italian, French and German languages is desirable.

***

Seriously. Can you think of anyone more qualified than me for this thing? I didn't think so. Added bonus: the lady who posted this opening has a connection with a certain former music professor at a certain university from whence I obtained my graduate degree and who is currently living in a town less than one hour south of my abode and who notified me that he mentioned my name to this particular lady before I even found out about the job opening. So maybe I won't be rejected by the damn elitist upper Seattle arts community for the umpteenth time? If I am, again, not granted even an interview for this job, I shall eat my leg. The end.

In other news: I f*ing love Target. So hard. Especially when you've been eyeing a certain pink Isaac Mizrahi cashmere sweater for the past 3 months, silently willing the price to go further and further and further down, as near to my ideal price range (roughly: $0.00) as possible and today (today!) I finally snatched it up at the fantastical price of eleven dollahs. Not quite zero, but I'll concede. Also, I got 3 candles for the combined total price of three dollaaaaahs. Huzzah!

Oh, and also: Go see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" right now. It's quite delightful. Especially if you are not offended by full-frontal male nudity. The end.

Friday Quiz. (with Updates!)

I showed up at work at 8am this morning to go to a meeting that lasted until 9:30. Since then, I have done which of the following?:

A. gChatted with Sarah P. about my recent weeklong bout with gastro-intestinal unpleasantness possibly brought about by the ingestion of surplus amounts of leafy greans and peanut sauce.

B. perused the Target website. Payday!

C. read roughly eleventy million blogs.

D. checked Facebook.

E. continued work on Phase Two of the Super Secret Awesome Project.

F. watched clips of Yehudi Menuhin and Thea King performing Bartok's Contrasts on youTube.

G. silently cursed my recent bout with aforementioned gastro-intestinal unpleasantness for making me too nervous about my poor colon to have any coffee or espresso today. Blar.

H. anything that doesn't involve actual work.

I. all of the above.


In hindsight, I also suspect that it was not such a good idea to become newly addicted to the Arby's Jalapeno Poppers this last week either...

***

Excerpt from my afternoon chat with Sarah P.

me: how was the indian buffet?

Sarah: DELICIOUS

me: mmmm...i yearn for it! but my colon fears it.

Sarah: poor ys!

***

UPDATE 1: Schmooblebuns came home with a rather large package (zing!) for me! Lest thou thinkest the dirtiest of thoughts, it was this. Hooray hooray hooray! Now I don't have to carry around my ten-year old this that has a dysfunctional zipper and gigantic tear at the seam. Also, my brand-spanking new clarinerd gig bag is like ten pounds lighter on my poor defective left shoulder. Hooray for Schmooblebuns!

***

UPDATE 2: It is now officially snowing like a mofo outside my living room window. Seriously?! Snow? In the middle of April?? Yeesh. If I don't see some sunshine soon, I'm going to go mad. Come on. Unpredictable colon activity and springtime snow storms?! This all feels like a bad dream...

A couple things.

1. Okay, so I didn't end up making the Miang Kum last night. I did, however, spend a thoroughly lengthy amount of time at the grocery store after work scrounging up the ingredients which, all in all, were not at all terribly difficult to get. I ended up substituting a more commonly found bottled plum hoisin sauce (like I'm actually going to make a sauce...) than the elusive tamarind chutney my recipe called for. And the only thing I could not find at the standard non-Asian specific grocery store was plain shredded coconut. All they had was the sticky sweetened kind in the baking aisle. So I ended up going to the nearby Asian store for that. No worries. And then I got home, took my shoes off, watched some requisite bad television and decided that I was too lazy to even do all that chopping and dicing. BUT. I did end up making some vegetarian (because tofu is so much easier than animal carcas) Swimming Rama instead. Steamed spinach, broccoli and fried tofu in delicious peanut sauce. Too bad I didn't rinse the spinach off well enough and ended up eating dinner with a side of gritty dirt. Oh well. Anyway, when I feel up to the dreaded chopping and dicing in the next couple of days, I'll actually make some Miang Kum.

2. I may or not be working through a free online German course instead of doing actual work this morning. Whatevs. I don't feel bad. It's slow as hell, I'm caught up, and this is going towards my goal of heading back to doctoral school in a couple of years. I'm all about the multi-tasking!

3. Must See TV is back tonight! Woo hoo!

4. Ugh. I can't blog and study German at the same time. Off to spend the remaining 2 hours of my workday being studious so I can someday be a world famous musicologiclarinerd. Tschuss!

***

UPDATE: I just blew my nose and I think my brain exploded. I can't hear out of my left ear anymore. Seeing as how two people from work have stayed home from sickness this week, this does not bode well. I can't be getting sick when this weekend is forecast to be sunny and in the high sixties! And yes, the high sixties is very exciting when you live in Seattle! Gah!

UPDATE II: I feel it is my duty to let you know that I had not ein, but zwei BMs at work this morning. Achtung! Perhaps I should lay off the leafy greens, peanut sauce and espresso combination? That is all.

Ewwwwwwww.

Question: What is worse than having to spend twenty minutes of your day helping a forty year old man who is not only pretentious and annoying, but also smelly and obnoxious find a piano scale book for one of his students? Especially when you've shown him roughly twenty different kinds of scale books from Hanon to Czerny to Brown to Alfred to MyAss and he always seems to be able to find a problem with every single one of them? Especially when the main problem he has with all of them is the fact that he is looking for something that runs the full gamut of the keyboard instead of, oh I don't know, the standard two octave scales that are in EVERY SINGLE PIANO SCALE BOOK IN THE UNIVERSE because any more than that and you're going to have like eleventy thousand ledger lines and like four clef changes to deal with gaaaaaaah?

Answer: Being PROPOSITIONED by said pretentious, annoying, smelly and obnoxious forty year old man.


gChat exchange with Sarah P. roughly two minutes later:

1:30 PM me: ew ew ew ew ew

Sarah: what what what what what?

1:31 PM me: this older guy who is very obnoxious and annoying and smells kind of bad just asked me out. BARF.

1:32 PM Sarah: ewwwwwwww

sorry

1:33 PM me: i think it's this damn blouse i have on that's slightly low cut and i kind of had to bend over a little bit when i was helping him out. i need to take a shower STAT.

Sarah: EWWWWWWWWWW

MEGA SORRY

1:34 PM me: he was all, "so i'm playing at this jazz club tonight. do you know [whatever] in ballard? show's at seven....so...what are you doing at seven tonight?"

i was like, "WORKING!!!"

1:35 PM Sarah: ew ew ew ew ew you weren't kidding

1:36 PM me: he was all, "um...you're working at seven?" (we close at six o'clock) and i'm like, "YUP. WORKING. SORRY."

1:37 PM Sarah: hahaha

burn!

me: :)


Anyway. Who doesn't like occasional attention from the preferred sex, right? After nearly four years with the same Schmoobliedioos (yikes!), it's nice to be reminded that you are still a fetching young lass. But this time? No thank you. Bleargh. I need a shower. I mean really. If the universe is going to send somebody to proposition me (and whom I would obviously still swiftly reject...hi Schmoolebuns!) why can't it be, I don't know, David Beckham or George Clooney? Hm?

In other news: I may attempt to make this tonight. Wish me luck. Seeing as how there's really no actual cooking involved, it should be fairly simple. Just a matter of being able to find all the ingredients at the nearby Asian grocery store.

Also: I've been practicing the bass clarinet like a crazy woman (not really). And I am AWESOME! Woo! So much fun! I am so close to becoming a triple clari-threat (Eb, Bb/A, and Bass for all you non-clarinerds out there).

Seriously. I'm so bored.

1. You must watch this skit from last Saturday's SNL. It's hi-larious.



2. One of the fortunate after-effects of The Glorious Weeklong Vacation in Hawaii was the super duper tan I came home with. A barista whose coffee shop I frequent about 3 times a week slid open the window to the drive-thru a couple days ago and exclaimed, "OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO TAN!! ... I mean, not freakish or anything, but..." Unfortunately, the allotted week of Bronzed Goddess-dom has passed and I am now in the terrible mass sloughing off of dead top layer of skin phase. It is NOT pleasant. I got up this morning and, after putting my eyeballs (contacts) on, saw that my entire stomach was one gigantic disgusting layer of dead white skin. Ew. Anyway, nothing more to say about this except that I feel like some nasty desert reptile in its shedding phase. This week will be all about the salt scrub and lotion, methinks.

3. Oh, and just so we're clear: I have only completed PHASE I of my Super Secret Awesome Project. Therefore, I am not at liberty to divulge any details yet. Soooorry!

4. I'm thinking about going across the street to have a cup of Tom Kha Gai and some Miang Kum. Not necessarily because I'm hungry, but because it would kill about half an hour out of my day. Also: deliciousness!!

5. While you're at it, watch this one too:

Schmoobs and I are now fervently practicing our Walken impersinations. Results? Disastrous.

...

Dear Blog Readers,

I am so incredibly f*ing bored out of my mind. Not that there isn't something I could find to do around here. It's just that I don't want to. And it's not like I couldn't actually just sit on my arse as I am doing right this second and finally write a full and detailed account of the events that have transpired over the past two weeks -- namely, hello, our Hawaii vacation...and the fact that while I was busy having a tremendously radical time on said Hawaii vacation, my Bossman got f*ing usurped by his own father and now all of a sudden I have a new Bossman and former Bossman is nowhere in sight...yowza!! It's all very dark and Shakespearean and I am seriously loving every minute of it. Mainly because New Bossman is quite fond of me and has taken it upon himself to call me "Izzy." ...But, anyway, I'm too lazy to write about all that right now. So, in the meantime, I will say this: Please for the love of God all of you need to sign up for gmail, not only because it is the greatest email service the universe has ever known and I want to have it's babies, but also because then you can log onto gChat and IM me here at work and save me from my deathly boredom pleeeeeaaase.

The End.

ps. Dan, my mom reads my blog (though rarely comments...harumph) and she was thoroughly impressed with your Limerick Skillz.

Why Dan is the Man.

Limericks by Dan!

In the dreary gray town of Seattle
Friend Ysabel had a small battle
Again with her car
A tale familiar
So listen in then as I prattle.

(Un)Lucky was a Volkswagen
His get-up-n-go now draggin'
He decided to die
Left Ys high and dry
But she thinks he's just sandbaggin'

In bleak winter weather she called
To Schmoobles, "My !@#$ car has stalled!"
He rushed to her aid
A discovery made
You need a new battery installed!

When finally home from the airport
She thought, "What do I care for?"
To Nutella she went
To share her lament
But dear, that's what it's there for!

Brilliant. Thanks Dan!