I have applied for this job:

Music Librarian

Seattle Opera is accepting applications for the position of Music Librarian. This full time exempt position reports to the Music Administrator. Duties include: Researching, procuring and executing all musical parts preparation required for the orchestra and chorus; serving as main contact to the orchestra musicians for parts preparation needs; organizing and maintaining the company library; acting as resource to staff for musical references; providing orchestral set-up information to technical staff; overseeing the company recording equipment and its use; maintaining the audio and video archives, serving as principal support to Music Administrator.

Qualifications

• Music education or equivalent with an emphasis on orchestral experience required.
• Preference will be given to those with extensive knowledge of operatic repertoire and with orchestra library experience.
• Complete understanding of orchestral scores with ability to read fluently in all clefs, and transpose and copy music by hand in neat manuscript.
• Background and experience in computer applications (Sibelius, word processing, spreadsheet, and database).
• Excellent communication skills, both oral and written.
• Ability to multitask, strong organizational and time management skills.
• Familiarity with Italian, French and German languages is desirable.

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Seriously. Can you think of anyone more qualified than me for this thing? I didn't think so. Added bonus: the lady who posted this opening has a connection with a certain former music professor at a certain university from whence I obtained my graduate degree and who is currently living in a town less than one hour south of my abode and who notified me that he mentioned my name to this particular lady before I even found out about the job opening. So maybe I won't be rejected by the damn elitist upper Seattle arts community for the umpteenth time? If I am, again, not granted even an interview for this job, I shall eat my leg. The end.

In other news: I f*ing love Target. So hard. Especially when you've been eyeing a certain pink Isaac Mizrahi cashmere sweater for the past 3 months, silently willing the price to go further and further and further down, as near to my ideal price range (roughly: $0.00) as possible and today (today!) I finally snatched it up at the fantastical price of eleven dollahs. Not quite zero, but I'll concede. Also, I got 3 candles for the combined total price of three dollaaaaahs. Huzzah!

Oh, and also: Go see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" right now. It's quite delightful. Especially if you are not offended by full-frontal male nudity. The end.