True(ish) story.

I almost ran off and joined a nunnery today because boys are dumb. The end.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all you guys!

So my masterful plan to have our first ever Restaurant Thanksgiving has somehow devolved instead to me going ahead and fixing an entire unnecessarily large feast for two as usual. Mergh. Mainly because Schmoobs is sick and my plan to just make a small batch of lumpia for snacking throughout the day turned into accidentally making a humongo batch of lumpia, which led to deciding to make a quick green bean casserole because it's easy and super delicious, which then led to deciding to make my dad's awesome baked chicken casserole because I might as well round out this whole thing with an entree and just go ahead and make a freaking full meal. Also, Schmoobs called the restaurant where we were going to have Thanksgiving dinner, and they said that they were currently doing their last seating and were already completely full for the day. Whoops. So I guess calling for reservations would have been a good thing? Whatevs. I guess First Ever Restaurant Thanksgiving will have to wait for another year. Plus, I doubt that restaurant would have traditional Thanksgiving pilgrim lumpia.

Anyway. 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

UPDATES:

1. Yesterday it was in the low 80s. I wore a pair of tights, a shirt/dress thing and flip flops to go run errands. Today it is in the mid-30s. I took Conehead outside for a quick tinkle and we both nearly froze our tushies off in about two minutes. Texass weather is weird. But at least now it actually feels like holiday weather.

2. Totally unrelated, but OMG you must watch this:

And a Merry Thanksgiving Eve to you!

Time for the annual making of the traditional Thanksgiving lumpia, childrens! (You know that if the pilgrims had just one Filipino friend they would have totally asked them to bring some lumpia to the party, duh.)

I am totally incapable of NOT making too much lumpia filling.

But with my mother's spectacular recipe, there can never really be too much lumpia! ...even if it's just for two people. Yeesh.

 Close up! As you can see, this recipe calls for green beans, sweet potato and ground turkey. This is totally Thanksgiving-y, you guys. Also, note that I have omitted the garbanzo beans and chopped peanuts because I couldn't effing get access to my email (where my shopping list was stored) on my iPhone this afternoon as I was battling the horde of angry, hateful betches in Kroger and had to remember everything on my shopping list by complete memory. Not too bad, only forgetting two ingredients. I have also left out the diced tofu, despite remembering to purchase it at the Kroger of Bitchery because I found myself too damned lazy to do any additional non-crucial dicing and frying. 

 Mmmmm-macro!

No more Monthly Bi-Annual Confirmations for BB.

And in typical BB fashion, at the vet's office, the vet tech brought BB out and let her down on the floor where she proceeded to walk face first right into the glass door. 

She's wearing a pink bandage around her waist because she also had an umbilical hernia that she had at birth fixed at the same time. Poor BB! Also, Schmooblinbotz has been battling some kind of nasty sickness that's been going around (I wonder who he could have caught it from, hmmm....) so I've been doing my best doting, cough drop-fetching, green tea-making girlfriend impression for the past two days. Yay for vacation! Haha.

Day One of Turkey Vacation!

Well, BB is now at her doctor getting her ladyparts snip-snip-snipped away. Schmoobs and I dealt with the subsequent guilt by drowning our sorrows in bacon, pumpkin pancakes and terrible coffee at IHOP.

Speaking of IHOP, while there Schmoobs asked me if I had perchance seen the most recent Facebook status from one of our least-favorite students at the university. This person was in my Music Lit class my very first semester (one of this foursome of idiocy, actually) and failed, then re-took the same Music Lit class the following semester from Schmoobs...and got a C. Anyway, here is the status update:

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Oh man, this drives me craaazy. If only it were not inappropriate for me, as a faculty member, to comment on this dum dum's Facebook and completely annihilate him, I would. But I'm not supposed to. Bleh. 

1. You put four more years of George Bush on your "ballet"? Hahahahahahahaah! Did you shove him in a pair of tights and make him twirl around on stage like a pretty pretty princess? Now that I would pay to see. 

2. "...that average joe blow off the street gets the same benefits as me that I work my ass off to make sure that I have good health care to cover my ass..." Really? Because I know for a fact that this job at which you speak of working "your ass off" doesn't exist because you don't actually work. Your "job" right now is being a full-time college student and you don't even "work your ass off" at that because you are one of the laziest, most mediocre students I have ever had. And when you are not working "your ass off" to barely get Cs in all of your classes, you are busy updating "your ass off" of your Facebook informing us that you are watching "your ass off" of UFC fights at Buffalo Wild Wings and playing "your ass off" of your XBox instead of studying and doing your homework. So please spare us all and get off of your incredibly ignorant, immature, uninformed, delusional judgmental high horse and come talk to me after you have earned at least one college degree and have spent one day as a professional music educator, working nonstop and earning just enough to barely pay your bills every month. And lest you think that I am only saying these things because I feel entitled to any government-funded handouts, let me remind you that my thoughts come from the compassion and realization that, while I am actually working my ass off teaching five university courses and teaching private clarinet lessons on the side for the whopping grand sum of roughly $8,000 for half a year, there are plenty of others who don't have it nearly as good as I do and I am okay with giving a portion of that away in taxes to help fund programs that will assist those people. (Plus, anyway, my handouts come from my parents and computer-genius brothers...)

3. Let us not even speak of your horrendous grammar.

Anyway, I brought this up because Schmoobs and I were heatedly discussing the pure idiocy of this particular student and the frustration of the sheer ignorance of his statements while seated next to a grizzled old conservative Southern redneck. I couldn't see him, but apparently he was looking quite irritated at our discussion, according to Schmoobs. Heh. Whatevs. I ain't scurred o' you! I'm small and lithe and can easily run away before you can get to your truck and grab your shotgun. Hahaha.

But luckily, there are a few people (some, other students!) that do represent some kind of hope for the future of this society:

Because a family with two kids where the father has been laid off can totally make ends meet if the mother just gets off of her lazy ass and picks up an application at Taco Bell, right, Eric? And any vagrant off the streets can instantly land a job guaranteed if only they would just take the one easy step of going inside any fast food restaurant and merely filling out an application, right, Eric? It's way easy! You're right, if a person loses their home and can no longer support themselves, it's only because they haven't done anything about it. And now they have to depend on your UFC-watching, barbecue wing-eating, uninformed and entitled-griping unemployed ass to pay for their healthcare. Anyway... *high fives Mark and Kraig*

Also: Today was our first day of vacation and I was up, showered and ready to go to the vet at 7:30 this morning with no problems. What has this semester done to me???

One more day...

So I was walking back into our condo after teaching Theory this morning and SLAMMED my elbow on the door knob (do not ask me how that happened). Result: I literally could not straighten my arm from the bent position my elbow was in for about ten minutes afterwards, I'm pretty sure I now have a sizable dent in my elbow and, perhaps most tragic of all, I cannot hold my cup of coffee with my left hand without my hand lapsing into weird spasmic tremors. Must have hit a nerve or something. So, yeah, that was cool...

In other news, Schmoobs' and my former band director in Vol Country and Schmoobs' former grad school mentor came was in town this past weekend to work with the annual high school honor band hosted by our university. It was super fun to see him again. Pertinent life discussions and nostalgic reflections abounded. Look, here are some pictures:

I'm in a band director sandwich! Haaaalp!

Here are Schmoobs and Dr. S in April 2006 right after Schmoobs' final concert in his Master's program.

And here they are nearly five years later.

Note: Schmooblebops has spent the greater part of the last few months moaning and groaning about how much older he feels like he is starting to look with the graying hair and the maturing skin and - oy vey - his "receding hairline." On and on and on about the receding hairline! And I have gone on and on at great length about how he still looks youthful for his age and that - in particular - he is a paranoid psychopath with his hairline because it seriously looks just like it always has for as long as I've known him. But he refused to listen to his wise and all-knowing girlfriend.

And then I showed him these pictures the other night and FINALLY:

Schmoobs: "Hey! So, my hair really doesn't look that different than it did five years ago."

Ys: "Mmhmm."

Schmoobs: "Like, my hairline looks the same!"

Ys: "Yup..."

Schmoobs: "I mean, yeah, there's more gray...but that's not such a big deal."

Ys: "I told you."

Schmoobs: "So I guess my hairline isn't receding!"

Ys: "I tooold you."

Schmoobs: "Huh! My hairline isn't receding!"

Ys: "I. TOLD. YOU."

Two more days...

...until VACATION.

It's always fun (not) to realize that your incessant coughing is actually what is causing your sore throat. Yeesh.

Now click below to jump to a picture that manages to be both disturbing and fantastic at the same time:

That he humored me by putting this on and then letting me take his picture is why I am with him.
(But he doesn't know I'm posting this on the blog...)
(But at least I put it after a jump so it doesn't show up on the front page...)

I knooooooow.

1. I am THIIIIIS close to being done with my !&#@(&^%@(%!*&!# Statement of Purpose. Goddamnit.

2. I have the effing GRE this afternoon. Do you know how much time I've had to study for this thing? A rough total of about twenty minutes. Sweet Jeebus. Let's all pray that I remember how to do effing long division, mkay?

3. I got my Monthly Confirmation today, too. Of course I did.

4. I did finally get my flattish tire replaced and my busted headlight fixed, so there's that. It's amazing how much less stressful and paranoia-ridden driving is when you're not constantly driving around with shifty eyes while evading the law.


Things left to do before December 15:

• Finish my Statement of Purpose, once and for all.
• Order transcripts.
• Make copies of my writing samples.
• Finish filling out all the goddamn online applications that BY THE WAY are infinitely more complicated than just effing doing it the old fashioned on-paper method. /burgeoningLuddite
• Oh yeah, keep teaching all my buttload of classes and students and stuff.

Oh yeah, because of all this, I have a sneaking suspicion that Schmoobs and I will be celebrating Turkey Day next week by going to a nice restaurant in town and having Thanksgiving dinner cooked for and served to us. There, I said it.

UPDATED TO ADD: And I forgot to mention that my little BB is getting her uterus yanked out next Wednesday! Waaaaah! Poor BB!!

Super Animal iPhone Picture Fun Time!

Oh hai. Don't mind me. Just looking at you with the cutest shiny eyes ever. ...Treat?

The sun worships ME.

Roarrrrr!

Okay, sleepytimes. ZZZZzzzzzzzz.

Blaaaarrrrrp.

Post cold Chinese food leftovers eaten directly out of the takeout containers chased by two fun-size Twix bars bloat. I'm disgusting.

Things I need to write about (but won't until later because I'm tired busy lazy.

1. Schmoobles' mother's surprise-ish visit this weekend. Wholly not as tense and awkward as anticipated. Ya.

2. My one-man road war with an angry old man (probably a tree-hating* conservative) in a pickup truck last week.

3. The fifty-year old Texas millionaire gambler who owns four boats and got divorced two years ago with self-esteem and possessiveness issues who got into a fight over his girlfriend with another fifty-year old at a bar with Schmoobs and I sitting right between them.


Also, I have already taught two classes this morning (with one more to go, and then some clarimanet lessons this afternoon) and my greatest accomplishment thus far is FINALLYFINALLYFINALLY getting three stars on Level 1-21 of Angry Birds on my iPhone! Boo yah!

Well.

I certainly had a most interesting Thursday evening. How about you? Let's just say my evening involved a fifty year old millionaire getting into an argument at a bar about his girlfriend and then informing me that he believed President Obama was a Muslim terrorist. And then him paying for my and Schmoobles' bar entire bar tab. The end.

...But not really because I'll explain tomorrow. When I am more sober.

Hmm...

1. All my pants seem to be fitting more snug around the ol' waist region lately. I guess the washer must have shrunk all my pants or something. Darn washer!

2. Apparently Schmooblybonbons' mother is flying in to town to visit for the weekend today. He forgot this was happening until this morning. And I was gifted with a text message in the middle of Ear Training class informing me as such. Uh... whatwhatWHAAAT?!

3. Wanna see some videos of BB and Bela?  Of course you do. Why would I even ask such a stupid question?

In 1998, my senior year in high school, I cut class with my friends - for the first and only time EVER (nerd alert) - and went to the mall. So we could go to the Discovery Channel nature store (nerd alert again). Twelve years later, I still have my one memento from that outing: Spike my beloved rubber blowfish. Spike has lived the majority of his life inside every car I have owned since that day - first, the gray Chevy Nova; then my teal Saturn SC2; then Lucky, my beloved black VW Golf baby boy; then Kablooie. For the past several months, however, Spike has finally made it indoors to our condo and, this afternoon, he decided to taunt BB by puffing his bad breath (he can't help it) in her face.

Update: Two minutes after I left BB with Spike, I found her chewing on him...with both of his fins torn off and lying in pieces on the couch. Waaah! Bad BB!

Two years later...yeah, they're still not BFFs. Damn.

(Also, please pardon the mess of unmade blankets and dirty clothes strewn about. I've tried explaining to BB again and again that if she wants to continue living with us rent-free, she'll have to earn her keep by doing some chores around the house, but she refuses to listen.)