Today, my mood is...

 

GIVE ME THAT MIDOL AND NOBODY GETS HURT!

What is up.

So in my complete state of panic - actually justified this time,  which is unusual - after being informed that I would for all intents and purposes be laid off from my adjunct position at the university at the end of last year, I proceeded to bust my ass all summer trying to figure out what the hell to do with myself in order to 1) be able to pay bills and buy food, and 2) not sell my kidneys and molars on the black market. It sucked, especially because of my deep-rooted refusal to go back into retail (you should all know by now that nobody wins in that situation), but I finally got a job for a Google-related company doing internet search assessing work.

I am overly cautious about actually naming the company and discussing it in much detail because, apparently, people have gotten fired for divulging anything about the job/company online. Google is hardcore, man. But whatever. I don't care because they will supposedly give me money every month if I do their bidding. And their bidding is, in general terms, completing a series of tasks and reviews and ratings that are meant to optimize their internet search results, thereby increasing their potential to completely annihilate all other interwebz entities and becoming the interwebular overlords. Wait, I think that's already happened. Anyway.

Things I like about it:

1. I can work from home.

2. This can supplant my clarinet lessons teaching. Thank Jeebus.

3. It's pretty easy. Boring, but easy. Luckily, I can watch the Cooking Channel and/or listen to LOST podcasts at the same time.

Things I don't like about it:

1. For the first month, I am apparently in an evaluation phase, where my hours are limited and I can only do about 2 hours of work every day. If I'm not fired after the first month, I think my tasks become unlimited and I'll be able to work more.

2. Having to evaluate the search results for the search query "large dildo ruin." WTF.

Anyway, I am anxious to get my initial review because, frankly, I've been doing this work blindly for the past three weeks and, aside from the productivity chart I maintain, I have no idea if I'm actually doing a good job or not. We'll find out in a week or two, I guess. Be gentle with me, Great Google Overlord!

In addition to that, HEY I've been promoted at Suite101! I am now not just a contributing writer, but I am also a Feature Writer and the Topic Editor for Classical Music. Booyay! This means that, instead of earning enough to buy 1/2 of a gas station cup of coffee every month, I'll be able to buy 1/2 of a Star*ucks cup of coffee every month! Hahaha.

No, just kidding.

I just like my new title. That's a neat little thing to be able to put on my CV. And it means that any new articles that get written in my topic have to pass my muster. Did you hear that, armchair music writers? No more listing Debussy as one of your two Romantic era composer examples! I mean...really. I just wish I had the time to go back and edit ALL of the other articles that were published in this topic before me. So much of it is truly horrific. And, honestly, what I'm really writing the Suite articles for is to get my music writing out there into the universe, metaphorically and literally. Who knows what may happen through this little bit of exposure? Maybe something else will come of it. Besides a few sips of free coffee.

Aaaanyway.

So I may not be completely laid off from my adjunct job after all! In a fit of pent up desperation and frustration yesterday, I sent an email to my (former?) university department head asking if there was a final, definitive word from the Powers That Be whether my position was terminated or not. Seriously, how frustrating is it to hear a bunch of "maybe"s and "hopefully not"s when it's your freaking income at stake and time (i.e. measly savings) is running out? Well, I got this in response:

which is...still not a definite yes. But it's enough to make me lean towards cautiously optimistic! Hooray!

***

Oh, and if you're not a musician and have always wondered what it was that I was talking about when I say that Schmoobs is off teaching his nerd corps, this was him yesterday as he was preparing his group for their performance/competition in Tennessee (GO VOLS!) that night. I just happened to come across somebody on Facebook doing a live stream of their group:

Schmoobles' Nerd Corps

At about seven minutes in, I sent a text message to Schmoobs that said, "I seeeeeee you! (on the live stream)" and you can see him respond briefly. Hahaha. In hindsight, I should have just texted him and told him I knew exactly what he was wearing and saying. It would have totally creeped him out! *sigh* Bygones. Here's one of their performances this season if you're interested. There's something about guys walking around on stilts and drums being played upside down at some point. Or something.

I have no real feelings towards this activity, but I do know that I want Schmoobs and his group to do well. All this time apart in the summers better be worth something, damnit! And man, do people get into it. Especially here. Check out the crowd at last night's show. Schmoobs texted me this pic:

Plus, there are a couple of guys in the corps that are students at our university who I actually taught when they were freshmen, so it's neat to see them doing well in nerd corps. Me, I'd rather listen to Dvorak in a concert hall. But what do I know? I just play the clarimanet. Kind of.

Well. Off to pour myself more coffee. BM no. 2 here I come!

Goings on.

Our lovely Texas forecast:

When does it end??? WHEEENNNN??!!! (Answer: October)

Schmooblebons left last Sunday for the next three weeks. Before he left, Schmoobs and I spent the afternoon running errands about town, which brought us at one point to Chipotle for lunch. Our Chipotle just happens to be located in the same shopping center as our PetSmart. And as we were pulling out of the Chipotle parking lot, I spotted in the distance the telltale signage on the side of a small bus that belonged to a local animal rescue center. So I suddenly exclaimed, "PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY!" And then after Schmoobs regained his composure and finished gently scolding me for making such wild sudden gesticular exclamations while he is driving, we ambled on over to PetSmart to coo at the sweet puppies.  The unofficial mascot of the shelter is a little weiner dog named Arlo who we had met at the last PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! and he is always a favorite with the public. He, surprisingly, did not get his injury from an accident or fight, but rather a degenerative disease that made his hindlegs useless :( But, man, does he get around on his wheels! Such a sweet, friendly doggie. He also looks pretty snazzy with his fringed denim vest.

After over 6 1/2 years together, Schmoobs and I took another step forward together by finally purchasing an actual dining table. Mainly, this was spurred by my desire to have a nice desk surface to work from since I would be spending much more time doing official business on the laptop and I learned after about two days that doing so from a reclined position on the couch resulted in searing wrist pain. Curses! So I did some research, found this nice set from Overstock, and sent the link to Schmoobs so he could buy it :) (He actually encouraged me to pick one out...I'm not that kind of a girlfriend.) Anyway, it's modest and clearly only built for two, but it looks really nice and is a pretty timeless design. I think maybe for our ten-year dating anniversary, we'll get around to buying a coffee table. And then maybe a bookshelf after we retire.

Story time! I was out getting breakfast groceries and going to the post office when the dining set packages were delivered. When I came home, Schmoobs was surrounded by a wild mess of cardboard, styrofoam, an assembled table and assorted chair pieces. He looked upset and crazed, and he explained to me that, while getting the delivery, our Princess of Team Cuddle had run out of the door and chased after the delivery guy who was by that point standing on the top flight of stairs heading back down. The delivery guy was totally aloof towards our sweet puppy and didn't seem to care that, in her excitement, she had started to slip on the stairs and was about two seconds away from falling down to the ground level of concrete...about thirty feet below. Schmoobles sprinted down and grabbed her collar before she plummeted to her demise. Meanwhile, he said all the delivery guy did was look down and nonchalantly say, "Your dog's slipping." UGH. Can you imagine?!?! I know it's not your dog or responsibility...BUT REACH DOWN AND GRAB HER FOR EFF'S SAKE!! 

Anyway. Schmooblets was so upset that he tore open the box and started to assemble the table before I got home to try and calm his nerves. And then I proceeded to ask him every eight hours, "So...when do you think you'll get the chairs assembled?" until I finally got bored and impatient enough one evening while he took a colossal fve-hour nap that I assembled them myself. It took me literally thirty minutes just to stare at the nonsensical wordless instructions enough that it finally made sense kind of. And I did it!! I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you that I was in the process of tightening the very last screw on the last chair when Schmoobs opened our bedroom door, rubbed his eyes, saw what I was doing and said, "Oh, hey, I can help you hon." BAH. I am woman! Hear me roar! And it's not because I'm PMS-ing!

The very first (and so far, only) meal we've eaten together on the new dining set was Sunday brunch before he left. That's toast with cream cheese and smoked salmon, eggs sunny side up on a bed of sauteed spinach and onions, organic chicken and sage sausages, grapes, smoked cheddar cheese and dees nutz. Schmoobs also got us some soy caramel macchiatos from Star*ucks while I cooked. He iz good boy.

And now that he is gone, and the summer semester is over and I am working from home, I am spending A LOT of time getting all creative and stuff in the kitchen. Consequently, I am spending a lot of time eating. But it's ok because I think I might be PMS-ing now so it's totally justified. My sister texted me several nights ago about these incredible potato chips she had that involved bleu cheese, balsamic vinegar and basil. So I decided to try it! This here is the epitome of everything I am supposed to not eat. Greek yogurt, goat cheese and bleu cheese. Again, I am PMS-ing and am not in control of my belly's desires.  

TA DA! Kettle chips with bleu cheese sauce, balsamic drizzle and basil. DELICIOUS. I consulted Google and it told me of one restaurant that serves this sort of thing but with sweet potato chips. Iiinteresting. I'll have to try it next time.

And then the other night I was sitting on the couch just pre-menstruating and generally not being productive (probably watching the Cooking Channel) and it dawned on me: What if you combined cream cheese and Nutella to make a cake frosting?! At the same time, I was also consumed by the fact that I had been craving lemon cake for about three days. So I set about baking a cake to serve as the vehicle for the Cream Cheese Nutella frosting. Here, from this morning, we have a Neapolitanish cake: lemon with orange marmalade swirled in, vanilla maple with almonds and dark chocolate and espresso. I haven't made the frosting yet but probably will later this evening.

The main reason I never got around to making the frosting this morning? Because as I had finished the cake batter and had the cake baking away in the oven, I went to tackle the mound of dishes that had been accumulating in the sink for the past two days. And right when I was down to the last thing, the glass mixing bowl, this effing slimy little baby lizard wiggled up at the speed of light from the bottom and ALMOST ATE MY FACE OFF. Ok, not really. It was small and harmless - and kind of cute - but it was really quick and unexpected and I squealed like a little baby while throwing around the giant glass bowl that was full of dirty batter water. It hung out in the sink ALL MORNING despite my every attempt to leave for half an hour at a time and come back in hopes that it magically disappeared. But no.

Finally, enough time had past and I had talked to the freaking baby lizard enough, "Hey. Go away. Go on, stupid lizard. Go. Leave." etc. that we kind of bonded and I decided that it would be cruel to grab the cat and make him eat it so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So I pep talked myself for about an hour while standing atop a chair so that I could keep an eye on the thing without having to get too close and finally managed to concoct a plan. I grabbed a large tupperware container and put inside it a basil leaf and a grape. What. I don't know, don't lizards eat green things?? And then I plopped it into the sink. And then I spent the next twenty minutes using water from the faucet and our kitchen dish brush to coax the little bugger ever closer ...and finally into the tupperware! And then I waited a long time for it to settle down at the bottom and stop moving so that I wouldn't come into risk of it making a sudden move TOWARDS JUMPING UP AND EATING MY FACE.

 

And then I popped the lid on the tupperware and quickly ran outside and to the back so I could deposit it out next to the lake. I assume that's where lizards like to hang out. I could have just plopped him outside the front door, but after all that time we spent together, I didn't want him to just go ahead and die from sizzling in the heat of the sun with no shade or water near enough. See what a good person I am?! I sacrificed the safety of my own face for this little baby lizard. I shook him out of the tupperware right next to the water by those trees and first thing he did was scamper out to the edge and jump kamikaze style Aieeeeee! into the water. YOU'RE WELCOME, LIZARD.

Anyway, I should probably try and do some more work now. Or maybe make that frosting.

Goings on.

Our lovely Texas forecast:

When does it end??? WHEEENNNN??!!! (Answer: October)

Schmooblebons left last Sunday for the next three weeks. Before he left, Schmoobs and I spent the afternoon running errands about town, which brought us at one point to Chipotle for lunch. Our Chipotle just happens to be located in the same shopping center as our PetSmart. And as we were pulling out of the Chipotle parking lot, I spotted in the distance the telltale signage on the side of a small bus that belonged to a local animal rescue center. So I suddenly exclaimed, "PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY!" And then after Schmoobs regained his composure and finished gently scolding me for making such wild sudden gesticular exclamations while he is driving, we ambled on over to PetSmart to coo at the sweet puppies.  The unofficial mascot of the shelter is a little weiner dog named Arlo who we had met at the last PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! and he is always a favorite with the public. He, surprisingly, did not get his injury from an accident or fight, but rather a degenerative disease that made his hindlegs useless :( But, man, does he get around on his wheels! Such a sweet, friendly doggie. He also looks pretty snazzy with his fringed denim vest.

After over 6 1/2 years together, Schmoobs and I took another step forward together by finally purchasing an actual dining table. Mainly, this was spurred by my desire to have a nice desk surface to work from since I would be spending much more time doing official business on the laptop and I learned after about two days that doing so from a reclined position on the couch resulted in searing wrist pain. Curses! So I did some research, found this nice set from Overstock, and sent the link to Schmoobs so he could buy it :) (He actually encouraged me to pick one out...I'm not that kind of a girlfriend.) Anyway, it's modest and clearly only built for two, but it looks really nice and is a pretty timeless design. I think maybe for our ten-year dating anniversary, we'll get around to buying a coffee table. And then maybe a bookshelf after we retire.

Story time! I was out getting breakfast groceries and going to the post office when the dining set packages were delivered. When I came home, Schmoobs was surrounded by a wild mess of cardboard, styrofoam, an assembled table and assorted chair pieces. He looked upset and crazed, and he explained to me that, while getting the delivery, our Princess of Team Cuddle had run out of the door and chased after the delivery guy who was by that point standing on the top flight of stairs heading back down. The delivery guy was totally aloof towards our sweet puppy and didn't seem to care that, in her excitement, she had started to slip on the stairs and was about two seconds away from falling down to the ground level of concrete...about thirty feet below. Schmoobles sprinted down and grabbed her collar before she plummeted to her demise. Meanwhile, he said all the delivery guy did was look down and nonchalantly say, "Your dog's slipping." UGH. Can you imagine?!?! I know it's not your dog or responsibility...BUT REACH DOWN AND GRAB HER FOR EFF'S SAKE!! 

Anyway. Schmooblets was so upset that he tore open the box and started to assemble the table before I got home to try and calm his nerves. And then I proceeded to ask him every eight hours, "So...when do you think you'll get the chairs assembled?" until I finally got bored and impatient enough one evening while he took a colossal fve-hour nap that I assembled them myself. It took me literally thirty minutes just to stare at the nonsensical wordless instructions enough that it finally made sense kind of. And I did it!! I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you that I was in the process of tightening the very last screw on the last chair when Schmoobs opened our bedroom door, rubbed his eyes, saw what I was doing and said, "Oh, hey, I can help you hon." BAH. I am woman! Hear me roar! And it's not because I'm PMS-ing!

The very first (and so far, only) meal we've eaten together on the new dining set was Sunday brunch before he left. That's toast with cream cheese and smoked salmon, eggs sunny side up on a bed of sauteed spinach and onions, organic chicken and sage sausages, grapes, smoked cheddar cheese and dees nutz. Schmoobs also got us some soy caramel macchiatos from Star*ucks while I cooked. He iz good boy.

And now that he is gone, and the summer semester is over and I am working from home, I am spending A LOT of time getting all creative and stuff in the kitchen. Consequently, I am spending a lot of time eating. But it's ok because I think I might be PMS-ing now so it's totally justified. My sister texted me several nights ago about these incredible potato chips she had that involved bleu cheese, balsamic vinegar and basil. So I decided to try it! This here is the epitome of everything I am supposed to not eat. Greek yogurt, goat cheese and bleu cheese. Again, I am PMS-ing and am not in control of my belly's desires.  

TA DA! Kettle chips with bleu cheese sauce, balsamic drizzle and basil. DELICIOUS. I consulted Google and it told me of one restaurant that serves this sort of thing but with sweet potato chips. Iiinteresting. I'll have to try it next time.

And then the other night I was sitting on the couch just pre-menstruating and generally not being productive (probably watching the Cooking Channel) and it dawned on me: What if you combined cream cheese and Nutella to make a cake frosting?! At the same time, I was also consumed by the fact that I had been craving lemon cake for about three days. So I set about baking a cake to serve as the vehicle for the Cream Cheese Nutella frosting. Here, from this morning, we have a Neapolitanish cake: lemon with orange marmalade swirled in, vanilla maple with almonds and dark chocolate and espresso. I haven't made the frosting yet but probably will later this evening.

The main reason I never got around to making the frosting this morning? Because as I had finished the cake batter and had the cake baking away in the oven, I went to tackle the mound of dishes that had been accumulating in the sink for the past two days. And right when I was down to the last thing, the glass mixing bowl, this effing slimy little baby lizard wiggled up at the speed of light from the bottom and ALMOST ATE MY FACE OFF. Ok, not really. It was small and harmless - and kind of cute - but it was really quick and unexpected and I squealed like a little baby while throwing around the giant glass bowl that was full of dirty batter water. It hung out in the sink ALL MORNING despite my every attempt to leave for half an hour at a time and come back in hopes that it magically disappeared. But no.

Finally, enough time had past and I had talked to the freaking baby lizard enough, "Hey. Go away. Go on, stupid lizard. Go. Leave." etc. that we kind of bonded and I decided that it would be cruel to grab the cat and make him eat it so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So I pep talked myself for about an hour while standing atop a chair so that I could keep an eye on the thing without having to get too close and finally managed to concoct a plan. I grabbed a large tupperware container and put inside it a basil leaf and a grape. What. I don't know, don't lizards eat green things?? And then I plopped it into the sink. And then I spent the next twenty minutes using water from the faucet and our kitchen dish brush to coax the little bugger ever closer ...and finally into the tupperware! And then I waited a long time for it to settle down at the bottom and stop moving so that I wouldn't come into risk of it making a sudden move TOWARDS JUMPING UP AND EATING MY FACE.

 

And then I popped the lid on the tupperware and quickly ran outside and to the back so I could deposit it out next to the lake. I assume that's where lizards like to hang out. I could have just plopped him outside the front door, but after all that time we spent together, I didn't want him to just go ahead and die from sizzling in the heat of the sun with no shade or water near enough. See what a good person I am?! I sacrificed the safety of my own face for this little baby lizard. I shook him out of the tupperware right next to the water by those trees and first thing he did was scamper out to the edge and jump kamikaze style Aieeeeee! into the water. YOU'RE WELCOME, LIZARD.

Anyway, I should probably try and do some more work now. Or maybe make that frosting.

So I'm working a lot from home now (more later, as always). Which makes me want to spend less time writing on the computer. So...pictures!

When does it end??? WHEEENNNN??!!! (Answer: October)

Before he left, Schmoobs and I spent the afternoon running errands about town, which brought us at one point to Chipotle for lunch. Our Chipotle just happens to be located in the same shopping center as our PetSmart. And as we were pulling out of the Chipotle parking lot, I spotted in the distance the telltale signage on the side of a small bus that belonged to a local animal rescue center. So I suddenly exclaimed, "PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY!" And then after Schmoobs regained his composure and finished gently scolding me for making such wild sudden gesticular exclamations while he is driving, we ambled on over to PetSmart to coo at the sweet puppies.  The unofficial mascot of the shelter is a little weiner dog named Arlo who we had met at the last PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! and he is always a favorite with the public. He, surprisingly, did not get his injury from an accident or fight, but rather a degenerative disease that made his hindlegs useless :( But, man, does he get around on his wheels! Such a sweet, friendly doggie. He also looks pretty snazzy with his fringed denim vest.

After over 6 1/2 years together, Schmoobs and I took another step forward together by finally purchasing an actual dining table. Mainly, this was spurred by my desire to have a nice desk surface to work from since I would be spending much more time doing official business on the laptop and I learned after about two days that doing so from a reclined position on the couch resulted in searing wrist pain. Curses! So I did some research, found this nice set from Overstock, and sent the link to Schmoobs so he could buy it :) (He actually encouraged me to pick one out...I'm not that kind of a girlfriend.) Anyway, it's modest and clearly only built for two, but it looks really nice and is a pretty timeless design. I think maybe for our ten-year dating anniversary, we'll get around to buying a coffee table. And then maybe a bookshelf for our retirement present.

Story time! I was out getting breakfast groceries and going to the post office when the dining set packages were delivered. When I came home, Schmoobs was surrounded by a wild mess of cardboard, styrofoam, an assembled table and assorted chair pieces. He looked upset and crazed, and he explained to me that, while getting the delivery, BB had run out of the door and chased after the delivery guy who was by that point standing on the top flight of stairs heading back down. The delivery guy was totally aloof towards BB and didn't seem to care that, in her excitement, she had started to slip on the stairs and was about two seconds away from falling down to the ground level of concrete...about thirty feet below. Schmoobles sprinted down and grabbed her collar before she plummeted to her demise. Meanwhile, he said all the delivery guy did was look down and nonchalantly say, "Your dog's slipping." UGH. Can you imagine?!?! I know it's not your dog or responsibility...BUT REACH DOWN AND GRAB HER FOR EFF'S SAKE!! 

Anyway. Schmooblets was so upset that he tore open the box and started to assemble the table before I got home to try and calm his nerves. And then I proceeded to ask him every eight hours, "So...when do you think you'll get the chairs assembled?" until I finally got bored and impatient enough one evening while he took a colossal fve-hour nap that I assembled them myself. It took me literally thirty minutes just to stare at the nonsensical wordless instructions enough that it finally made sense kind of. And I did it!! I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you that I was in the process of tightening the very last screw on the last chair when Schmoobs opened our bedroom door, rubbed his eyes, saw what I was doing and said, "Oh, hey, I can help you hon." BAH. I am woman! Hear me roar! And not because I'm PMS-ing!

The very first (and so far, only) meal we've eaten together on the new dining set was Sunday brunch before he left. That's toast with cream cheese and smoked salmon, eggs sunny side up on a bed of sauteed spinach and onions, organic chicken and sage sausages, grapes, smoked cheddar cheese and dees nutz. Schmoobs also got us some soy caramel macchiatos from Star*ucks while I cooked. He is good boy.

And now that he is gone, and the summer semester is over and I am working from home, I am spending A LOT of time getting all creative and stuff in the kitchen. Consequently, I am spending a lot of time eating. But it's ok because I think I might be PMS-ing now so it's totally justified. My sister texted me several nights ago about these incredible potato chips she had that involved bleu cheese, balsamic vinegar and basil. So I decided to try it! This here is the epitome of everything I am supposed to not eat. Greek yogurt, goat cheese and bleu cheese. Again, I am PMS-ing and am not in control of my belly's desires.  

TA DA! Kettle chips with bleu cheese sauce, balsamic drizzle and basil. DELICIOUS. I consulted Google and it told me of one restaurant that serves this sort of thing but with sweet potato chips. Iiinteresting. I'll have to try it next time.

And then the other night I was sitting on the couch just pre-menstruating and generally not being productive (probably watching the Cooking Channel) and it dawned on me: What if you combined cream cheese and Nutella to make a cake frosting?! At the same time, I was also consumed by the fact that I had been craving lemon cake for about three days. So I set about baking a cake to serve as the vehicle for the Cream Cheese Nutella frosting. Here, from this morning, we have a Neapolitanish cake: lemon with orange marmalade swirled in, vanilla maple with almonds and dark chocolate and espresso. I haven't made the frosting yet but probably will later this evening.

The main reason I never got around to making the frosting this morning? Because as I had finished the cake batter and had the cake baking away in the oven, I went to tackle the mound of dishes that had been accumulating in the sink for the past two days. And right when I was down to the last thing, the glass mixing bowl, this effing slimy little baby lizard wiggled up at the speed of light from the bottom and ALMOST ATE MY FACE OFF. Ok, not really. It was small and harmless - and kind of cute - but it was really quick and unexpected and I squealed like a little baby while throwing around the giant glass bowl that was full of dirty batter water. It hung out in the sink ALL MORNING despite my every attempt to leave for half an hour at a time and come back in hopes that it magically disappeared. But no.

Finally, enough time had past and I had talked to the freaking baby lizard enough, "Hey. Go away. Go on, stupid lizard. Go. Leave." etc. that we kind of bonded and I decided that it would be cruel to grab Bela and make him eat it so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So I pep talked myself for about an hour while standing atop a chair so that I could keep an eye on the thing without having to get too close and finally managed to concoct a plan. I grabbed a large tupperware container and put inside it a basil leaf and a grape. What. I don't know, don't lizards eat green things?? And then I plopped it into the sink. And then I spent the next twenty minutes using water from the faucet and our kitchen dish brush to coax the little bugger ever closer ...and finally into the tupperware! And then I waited a long time for it to settle down at the bottom and stop moving so that I wouldn't come into risk of it making a sudden move TOWARDS JUMPING UP AND EATING MY FACE.

 

And then I popped the lid on the tupperware and quickly ran outside and to the back so I could deposit it out next to the lake. I assume that's where lizards like to hang out. I could have just plopped him outside the front door, but after all that time we spent together, I didn't want him to just go ahead and die from sizzling in the heat of the sun with no shade or water near enough. See what a good person I am?! I sacrificed the safety of my own face for this little baby lizard. I shook him out of the tupperware right next to the water by those trees and first thing he did was scamper out to the edge and jump kamikaze style Aieeeeee! into the water.

Anyway, I should probably try and do some more work now. Or maybe make that frosting.

"Hey, why haven't you been effing updating your goddamn blog, you lazy bum?"

LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I'LL EXPLAIN MORE LATER IF YOU'RE LUCKY!

No, seriously. There's been a whole lot AND a whole lot of nothing going on, which has severely impacted my motivation to update this and Stubborn Tomato much the last couple of weeks. Obviously. But I'll probably carve some time out later today to update one or both blogs.

Schmooblebutt left for his final nerd corps stretch of the summer which will last for three weeks (directly after which will be marching band season stretch...sigh). I was sad, but not as sad as I was at the beginning of summer because I know this will be it for this year. Also, there is so much Real Housewives and Big Brother to watch and he seriously cramps my Bad Reality Television viewing. Plus, I have plenty to do to keep myself busy. But that is for the update post.

In the meantime, speaking of Schmoobs, he has this terrible habit of chewing on his toothbrushes to the point that they look like this after a week:

 

WTF, mate?!

I mean, I'm pretty sure this toothbrush is no longer capable of actually brushing and cleaning your toofs so much as giving them a gentle massage. Boys...

Could it have happened any other way?

I went to Target this late afternoon to buy us a schmancy new oscillating fan since our bedroom ceiling fan has mysteriously stopped working and to procure some cat food for the Belamonster. As I pulled in to my parking spot back home, I brilliantly - so I thought - remembered to leave my window about two inches open so as to let it be slightly less like the pits of hell next time I have to drive anywhere. "What a great idea!" I said to myself. "I mean, it's not like it's going to rain anytime soon! Guffaw guffaw guffaw." After all, it was searingly sunny and 104 degrees this afternoon. 109 yesterday (UGH). And we haven't seen even one drop of precipitation in at least a month. So...

Cut to 4 hours later. It is now 10pm. Schmooblebottoms says, "Hey. Is that rain? Do you hear that?'"

Yup. Thunderstorming outside. Of course.

Also, I went through our den (aka Land of A Hundred and One Unpacked and Unmarked Boxes) like a madwoman this morning looking for a piece of music that I wanted to practice. I found it. I also got an EFFING paper cut under my freaking finger nail. It still hurts like a mofo. I'm really scared to take a shower tonight. Waaah.

I am ridiculous.

Last night, I was freshly showered and in bed by 12:20am. At 12:30am the power went out. As such, I then spent the next hour and a half wide awake being preoccupied by the rising temperature and uncomfortably still air in the condo due to the lack of air conditioning (I AM SO SPOILED) and being convinced that the power was manually shut off by the boogey man who was going to come out of the shadows at any moment and steal my eyeballs or something. Seriously, I had forgotten just how comforting light pollution is when you are an unreasonably paranoid individual who cannot fall asleep in the middle of the night. Also, I checked the weather on my phone with the thought of opening up the windows at least for some air movement. It was still 86 degrees at 1am. Yeesh.

I did, however, find the page on the website of our energy provider where I could report a power outage and when I called the number to do just that, I found out that they at least were already working on it and would get the power back up in the next...four hours. I can evade the boogey man for four hours! But, really, all I did was hide under as much covers as I could without suffocating myself in the heat and played Boggle on my phone until I finally passed out. And I blissfully was awoken at 4:44am with the power - and the A/C and the fan... - turning on. Hooray! ...And then two minutes later it shut off again. But I more easily passed back out this time and when I woke up for realz this morning, the power was fully functional. And I still had both my eyeballs. You can't get me, Knuckles!

And now, some pictures from the last few days:

 What is the President of the Finer Things Club doing sitting with these tennis balls?

 Ahhh...I see.

BB contemplates making a move.

Bela says, "Oh really?"

 

But eventually he got bored.

 

I made myself a salmon wrap for dinner the other day. BB really wanted some.

But she didn't get any. 

(Just kidding. I gave her a tiny little piece of salmon because I can't help myself.)

Funday Funday Funday!

For the whole last week - well, really the entire last...six years? - but really mostly on Saturday, I found myself typing and working and writing away on the computer thinking, "I wonder what it's like to have the type of job where you don't feel obligated to fill in any and all free time with more work. Because, as a musician, free time equals "just more practice time." And as an educator, weekends equal "just two days that you have to get ready for the next week of classes."

And, because the universe likes to times things just so, I found myself answering a phone call from a friend (really the only real girl friend I have here in TX) who lives 45 minutes away, but who goes to church five minutes from where Schmoobles and I live, wanting to know if I was available to hang out on the weekend. Her husband was gone doing the same thing Schmoobles is for the summer, working with a different nerd corps, and Schmoobles is out until Friday, so I welcomed her over for a girl's day visit. On Sunday morning, I opened up the computer, finished up the very last bit of work that I had to get done before Monday, vacuumed the condo, fed the animals, took a quick shower all in time for her to come over. And then I made some spinach, onion, tomato and goat cheese flat breads with egg and coffee and brunch that we enjoyed while I made her watch the season premiere of Big Brother (woot!) so that she could get addicted along with me.

And then we meandered over to our fabulous neighborhood country club Rich People Swimming Pool where we managed to bypass the $100+/mo membership fees by slipping them $5 instead and spent the afternoon poolside drinking cocktails and eating nachos, people watching (i.e. judging) all the wealthy elite of our community with their pulled up brows and inflated chesticles and ill-mannered children. It was pretty entertaining.

Though it doesn't happen very often, being able to spend a day off as an actual day off and enjoying the good life, even if you are just playing pretend, is nice every once in a while. But, in a weird way, I'm grateful that it's not the norm. As I told my friend, you'd probably stop appreciating it after a while. Not us, though...

They take your drink orders from the adjoining bar/restaurant. And then serve it to you in the pool. Criminy! That's the lake behind the pool and the big pole things (masts? or something?) attached to the various yachts that park at the marina here. Oh, rich people.

Addendum: I ended up getting way too much sun yesterday and made sure to exfoliate my mug extra special like during my bedtime shower last night before proceeding to slather on obscene amounts of Neutrogena anti-aging night cream. FREE RADICALS BE GONE!

An actual Sunday.

For the whole week - well, really the entire last...six years? - but mostly yesterday, I found myself typing and working and writing away on the computer thinking, "I wonder what it's like to have the type of job where you don't feel obligated to fill in any and all free time with more work. Like, as a musician, free time equals "more practice time." And as an educator, weekends equal "two days that you have to get ready for the next week of classes."

And, because the universe likes to times things just so, I found myself today answering a phone call from a friend (really the only real girl friend I have here in TX) who lives 45 minutes away, but who goes to church five minutes from where Schmoobles and I live, wanting to know if I was available to hang out after she was done with the service. So I opened up the computer, finished up the very last bit of work that I had to get done before tomorrow, vacuumed the condo, fed the animals, took a quick shower all in time for her to come over. And then I made some spinach, onion, tomato and goat cheese flat breads with egg and coffee and watched the season premiere of Big Brother (woot!). And then we meandered over to our fabulous neighborhood country club Rich People Swimming Pool where we managed to bypass the $100+/mo membership fees by slipping them $5 instead and spent the afternoon poolside drinking cocktails and eating nachos, people watching (i.e. judging) all the wealthy elite of our community with their pulled up brows and inflated chesticles and ill-mannered children. It was pretty entertaining.

Though it doesn't happen very often, being able to spend a day off as an actual day off and enjoying the good life, even if you are just playing pretend, is nice every once in a while. But, in a weird way, I'm grateful that it's not the norm. As I told my friend, you'd probably stop appreciating it after a while. Not us, though...

They take your drink orders from the adjoining bar/restaurant. And then serve it to you in the pool. Criminy!

An actual Sunday.

For the whole week - well, really the entire last...six years? - but mostly yesterday, I found myself typing and working and writing away on the computer thinking, "I wonder what it's like to have the type of job where you don't feel obligated to fill in any and all free time with more work. Like, as a musician, free time equals "more practice time." And as an educator, weekends equal "two days that you have to get ready for the next week of classes."

And, because the universe likes to times things just so, I found myself today answering a phone call from a friend (really the only real girl friend I have here in TX) who lives 45 minutes away, but who goes to church five minutes from where Schmoobles and I live, wanting to know if I was available to hang out after she was done with the service. So I opened up the computer, finished up the very last bit of work that I had to get done before tomorrow, vacuumed the condo, fed the animals, took a quick shower all in time for her to come over. And then I made some spinach, onion, tomato and goat cheese flat breads with egg and coffee and watched the season premiere of Big Brother (woot!). And then we meandered over to our fabulous neighborhood country club Rich People Swimming Pool where we managed to bypass the $100+/mo membership fees by slipping them $5 instead and spent the afternoon poolside drinking cocktails and eating nachos, people watching (i.e. judging) all the wealthy elite of our community with their pulled up brows and inflated chesticles and ill-mannered children. It was pretty entertaining.

Though it doesn't happen very often, being able to spend a day off as an actual day off and enjoying the good life, even if you are just playing pretend, is nice every once in a while. But, in a weird way, I'm grateful that it's not the norm. As I told my friend, you'd probably stop appreciating it after a while. Not us, though...

They take your drink orders from the adjoining bar/restaurant. And then serve it to you in the pool. Criminy!

Shortest Monthly Confirmation Ever.

And with a post title like that, you'd be crazy NOT to read any further! Haha. Don't worry, I won't say anymore about it. Except to say that I received the monthly surprise (wait, not a surprise...) early on Monday morning and now I'm done. I think. Bodies are so weird. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Maybe it was compensating for the two-week long cheesy poof and rib-flavored chip eating PMS massacre by having a super short menseses. Hm.

Gentlemen, are you still there?

Anyway.

So Independence Day was on Monday. That was neat. Since Schmoobs left for Chicage early that morning, I celebrated by having a mega Cheers marathon on Netflix, eating handfuls of rib-flavored chips and menstruating on the couch. Yeah, it was pretty memorable. *snort* Oh, and I learned that BB is incredibly frightened of fireworks. Our neighbors downstairs --

ALERT: I just learned that the reason BB had been acting so strangely meek and sheepish this morning after breakfast is that she had left me not one, but two fresh dingleberries on our chocolate brown colored couch. And I have just spent the last twenty minutes sitting roughly eight inches from one of them while typing away on the laptop. BLAGH!

Anyway, as I was saying -- Our neighbors downstairs were setting off a small set of celebratory fireworks in their back patio. The only problem was that they weren't setting them off one after the other. They would light one and we would hear a BOOM. And BB would come running up to me all saucer-eyed and scared. Then there would be nothing for at least five minutes. BB would recover and think it was safe again, so she'd leave my lap and go off and play somewhere. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, another BOOM. And then BB would come scurrying back again even more freaked out. This repeated itself for a good hour. By the fifth or sixth time, BB had become so scared that she just climbed up and took shelter...on my neck. I think if she could have somehow spent the evening under my skin, she would have.

At one point, she ducked behind in the small nook of space behind me and decided to use my body as her fortress while she stood shaking. Poor puppy!!

Bela, meanwhile, did not give a crap. In fact, for all I know he was probably standing at our back windows giving our neighbors the evil eye the whole time. And for his general overall badassery, we reward him with crisp, refreshing glacier water.

Bela and I have the same sentiments about the morning.

 

Anyway. Back to work on the compooper. I am spending this week writing articles and chipping away at the final phase of assessment exams for my potential work-at-home venture. Part of me thinks I am doing okay with the task simulations - I mean, how could I not be? I am awesome and smrt. - and part of me is paranoid that I am not spending enough time on each single task and will fail miserably. Ugh. I'll find out on Monday when the test deadline comes. 

Onwaaard.

I'll tell you what's not pleasant: Taking an hour to fall asleep at midnight because your little 12 pound dog is sleeping in the middle of the bed somehow managing to dominate your big giant comforter - your big giant comforter that itself is giving you grief because, under it it's too hot, and over it it's too cool. And then waking up at 4am because *poof* you got your Monthly Confirmation in the middle of the night (after pre-mensesesing for two weeks...at least that's how I'm justifying my massive cheese and chocolate intake) and your back hurts like a mofo. So then you stumble to the kitchen to pop a couple of Ibuprofen only to throw yourself back in bed and realize that you can't fall back asleep anymore. So you just decide to go ahead and take a shower at 4:30 in the morning, which is fine actually because you have to take Schmooblebutt to the airport at 6am anyway because he's going back to Chicago to teach his nerd corps again. Blergh.

So that's that.

Meaning, it is just me and the Beebla for the next ten days again...plus, as we recently discovered, eleven full seasons of Cheers on Netflix streaming! Who needs Schmoobles when you've got Sam "Mayday" Malone and the whole gang to hang out with?! No, seriously. I remember watching some of this show with my parents back when it was still on, but now I've become a genuine fan. It's totally funnier still than probably 98% of all the current sitcoms that are being made now. Anyway.

What else?

Oh, I've got three articles down on Suite. So far, I have generated enough income to buy myself one quarter of a sip of regular drip coffee. From the gas station. Hahahaha. But I will stick with it and have patience. It'll be worthwhile in the long run, I think (I hope), as long as I don't get discouraged.

I think what I'd like to work on is writing a long series of Music History articles utilizing all the work I've done for my Intro to Music Lit class lectures. Kind of a "Music History for Dummies" thing that will be broken up in small segments as opposed to a big long single document. I may as well keep putting my music brain cells to use, right?

In the meantime, I've started the process to become one of those Internet Assessors so I can start making some steady income every month. After getting past the initial application process and invited to test last week, I started the official assessment portion this morning when they sent me the first (of two) assessment exams. Only twenty four questions. No big deal. What I did not anticipate: a 125-page set of Guidelines that I had to study before taking the exam. Like I expected, it was a lot of common sense and terminology stuff that a computer-trained person probably wouldn't need to read, but seeing as how I am in no position to be overly cavalier about an opportunity for a steady paycheck at this point, I went ahead and plunked myself down with my tall soy caramel macchiato (courtesy of Schmoobs) and READ THE WHOLE THING THIS MORNING ON THREE HOURS OF SLEEP.

And then I passed the exam. YAY ME!

Up next is part two of the assessment, which contain something like 150 task simulations. Luckily, I have until next Monday to complete them, so I can do it in small chunks and avoid throwing myself out the window.

According to Schmoobs, our (or my former...blurgh) department head at the University may still be able to get me some teaching assignments in the fall. Pfft. No, really, if that happens then great. But I know better now than to count on that happening. Grumblebittergrumblebitter. But regardless of if that happens or not, I am still going to forge ahead with this writing/self-employment path that I've set out on. It feels good and right. Even if I'm not actually, you know, making any money out of it yet. Plus, if I do get to teach a class or two this next year, I can still do my work-from-home stuff and make a decent second income. AND I WON'T HAVE TO TEACH CLARINET LESSONS ANYMORE.

Best. Part. Evarrr!

Blegh, enough about all of this. Remember when Schmoobz and I went to Dallas to try and check out the aquarium but were scared away by the massive hordes of children so we ended up going to Dealey Plaza instead? Well, we tried again yesterday and finally did visit the Dallas World Aquarium. Not nearly as many people lined up outside, but the inside was still super crowded and annoyingly full of sweaty, obnoxious human bodies. The design of the aquarium is really not conducive to larger crowds because there is very little open walking space and the whole thing is designed to sort of be on giant long walking path. Kind of strange, quite frankly. But we definitely enjoyed the animals nonetheless.

I'll update with some pictures later today. For now: Cheers and NAP.

I is a writer!

Hey look, my very first penny made from writing! Hahaha. No...literally.