An all-time low.....

I have been rejected by the Jewelry Television Network.

***

Let us all have a moment of silence for my dignity, as it has now totally shriveled into non-existence.

This may or may not be worse than the time I was rejected during my freshman year of college for re-hire by Blockbuster Video -- for whom I worked all through-out high school -- because I failed to pass their computer questionnaire. C'mon guys, I mean 30 pages of psychological/personality questions? I can fake a good personality for 10, maybe 15, pages. But any more than that is out of the question.

Imagine this hypothetical situation and respond whether you agree or disagree:

Question number 274: At work, a customer you are helping is being rude and offensive. Your response is to maintain a professional attitude and continue to behave pleasantly as though you have no soul nor any standards for social behavior.

Disagree.

Disagree disagree disagree forever and ever.


And I offer no aplogies. I have standards.

Anyway, here's the thing: the Jew TV job only involved a 5-minute phone interview. I undoubtedly displayed my prowess with the English language during said interview. And I was polite/personable enough. What could it possibly have been, then?

My attainment of - not only a high-school diploma - but two f*ing college degrees may have been just too much for them to handle. Or perhaps one of their Jewelry TV trolls happened upon my second-to-last blog entry and feared my potential for fisticuffs with old ladies. Whatever. I'm sure this is for the best in the long run. Because, truly, I would have lasted 4 hours into my first day in that job before I would have thrown myself out the nearest window. But it was fun entertaining the thought of my working that job in any case. And the prospect of finally earning money again was good while it lasted. But the fact remains that I need a job. And fast! Gah!

In related news, I had my clarinet masterclass (aka. none-too-subtly veiled attempt to recruit private students for my studio...) at Halls High School earlier today. It was a good time. It's been a while since I've taught beginner/intermediate level students - let alone a group of them - so it took me about 20 minutes to warm up and settle into a groove. Before too long, though, I felt them starting to warm up to me and vice-versa. We talked mostly about breathing and tone development through long-tone exercises, and also touched upon embouchure and finger/hand position. It was hard since I had only an hour to work with them and I had several things I wanted to cover. By the way, my personal highlight of the masterclass was at the end of the hour when I asked if anybody had any clarinet-related questions for me, and a little red-headed kid in the back asked, "Can you play Star Wars?" Little boy, if you only knew.... Oh, and also after the masterclass ended and the students had left the auditorium, two maintenance guys came up to me and were like, "Are you a student here?" Hahaha. Boy, that never gets old, let me tell you.

Anyway, so we'll see if any of the kids liked/was impressed by me enough to call me up for lessons. And they better, if they know what's good for them.......

***

In short, my little facade about being good-natured about this penniless/starving artist's life I have going on must apparently continue for at least a little while longer. Blah. This is getting very old very fast. My next two job prospects are:

a) Coordinator/receptionist for a beauty salon

pro: free haircuts!
con: intermingling with catty beauty salon folk

b) Nanny for newborn and toddler

pro: $300 a week! I'd be rolling in riches with that kind of wage!
con: I think you can all imagine... (hint: it rhymes with goopy viapers)


*Sigh* And so the ongoing quest for employment continues............