10.08.2010

Well, this post is just a load of dog poop.

Did you know that BB is now crate-trained? I don't really know why we didn't do this before. Oh, wait. Yes I do. Because our last apartment - besides being overpriced and poorly managed - was on the top floor that would have required a long walk down an inside hallway, down four flights of stairs or a slow elevator ride, and out to the parking lot before we would have been able to let BB go tinkle-times or poopy-doopies, two or three times a day minimum. So we decided to litter-box train her instead. Which was all fine and good, except that it only worked about 80% of the time. And then when she was in a different dwelling, say during holidays at my parents' or sister's house in California, or her assortment of BB-sitters here in Texas, it worked roughly 5% of the time. So, yeah.

Anyway, our lovely new condo now opens up to the great outdoors and leads right to our parking lot with its wide array of grassy bathroom-opportunities after one short flight of stairs so it has been incredibly easy to take BB out a few times a day for tinkle-times. The fact that Schmoobs bought a comfortably-sized metal kennel for her to stay in (I call it her "apartment") while we are both at work, instead of allowing her to wander about freely, has reduced the accidents inside our condo to almost never.  BB is stoked that she goes on regular walks now and doesn't even seem to mind staying inside her apartment during the day. We just have to tap the top of her kennel and say "Go in, BB" and she saunters over and plops right inside with no fuss. It's all pretty keen.

Aaaaanyway, this was all a very long-winded way of telling you that, this morning, I didn't have any classes to teach (by my own design again...mehehe) and Schmoobs didn't have to leave until later in the morning so I cooked us a nice hearty breakfast of eggs over easy, turkey bacon, vegetarian sausage and toast (Do you see how we are trying to eat healthier?? Self high five! *clap*). And BB spent the entire meal pacing back and forth between our feet demanding her own portion. Literally, she panted and growled and occasionally barked her disapproval at not being given some egg and bacon as treats. Finally, after realizing that she was not going to get her way, she sneezed in disgust and walked away in defeat. Or so I thought. As Schmoobly got up to take his plate to the sink, he stopped in his tracks and said, "Um. Oh my god." And I looked over and saw that BB had left three healthy-sized poop logs on the floor right next to where I was sitting as punishment for not including her in breakfast.

What a bitch! (No. Literally.)

I would have been more angry at her if I didn't find it so amusing that she was so disgruntled at not getting any mealtime treats that she actually went out of her way to punish us from her butthole. At least she is no longer suffering from the colon soft-serve issue of last week, so the clean up wasn't so bad.

The best part, though, was when Schmoobs and I were standing in the kitchen getting the supplies to clean up the turd logs and I saw, out of the corner of my eye, poor majestic Bela slowly sauntering over to investigate what those brown things were sitting on the living room floor. Next thing I know, I see in slow motion Bela reach out his left front paw and - as I literally shouted, "Belaaaa! NooOOOO!!" - we watched the President of the Finer Things Club nudge the largest of the turds with his own paw, then raise the paw to his little nose, attempt to shake his paw of the filth and walk away thoroughly disgusted.


In other news: Hey! Picture Time!
Speaking of the Turdinator: Look how cute she is enjoying the lake view from our new neighborhood! It almost makes the poo-nishment (OMG I'm awesome) worth it. I took this during the first day that it had finally started to cool down enough around here that I could take BB outside while the sun was still up without fear of her instantly combusting into a puff of smoke and my eyebrows singe-ing in flames. This was also right around the time that I was still in the tail end of giving Schmoobs his Punishment of Seemingly Eternal Silent Treatment and had taken BB out for a walk to figure out how to strangle him to oblivion without going to jail afterwards. Glad that ended happily. Haha.

 How To Earn Good Tips As A Barista, Lesson One: Spell my name correctly and put a smiley-face next to it. Hooray!

 I took this picture as I was drying my hands after tinkling in the upstairs ladies room of our new music building. I was astounded that the strength of hot air was such that it was actually causing the skin on my hands to ripple. And, of course, I wanted to share it with you all. Unfortunately, the picture doesn't really do it justice. Also unfortunate: the fact that another faculty member walked in to the restroom about half a second after I took this picture and was probably left wondering why I was taking pictures with my phone inside the bathroom. Whatever. I DO WHAT I WANT! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

So I'm a little obsessive about games on my iPhone. Solitaire, Connect Four*, Tetris. I have self-waged a battle against my own phone in all of these games and it is my nightly mission to make sure I am still number one. In Connect Four, I am currently sixteen games ahead of the computer (phone) in a long-running tournament that is currently 240 matches long and counting. When I go to bed and play some Connect Four games and allow the computer to overtake the lead, I absolutely cannot sleep until I take the lead again. I would be lying if I said that there hasn't been at least one night where I was cursing my phone out in the dark only 10% conscious and with one eye closed trying to beat the computer at just one more match. It's pretty disturbing. 

Anyway, my goal with Solitaire is to constantly beat my current record at...whatever. So far, my shortest time in successfully completing a hand is 1:15. So now I know I have to try and complete a hand at 1:14 or better. Also, forever and ever, my best record for shortest number of moves it took me to complete a hand was 100 moves. I could not best that record for the life of me! Until! As you can see here, the other day I FINALLY bested my score and completed a hand in 99 moves, baby! I'm number one! I'm number one! But the glory is short-lived as I now have to keep playing again and again until I get 98 moves. *sigh*

You know, if it weren't for these games, my 6am wake up times would probably be more manageable now that I think about it, since I'd probably get to sleep an hour earlier every night. Meh.

Schmoobs took me out for drinks after work the other day.

Two players. Two martinis. One is clean, one is dirty.
Walt...do you want to know a secret? (...I'm the clean one. Duh.)

HAPPY FRIDAY!

*Oh, what I wouldn't give for a Connect Four Million game app on my phone!!


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