Ouch. My ass.*** ETA: Now with depressing Pre-Birthday Update!

Have you heard of this thing called "The 30-Day Shred"? No? Well, let me tell you. IT IS THE DEVIL. I don't know. I've come across a couple bloggers in the past couple of weeks talking about the torture - and effectiveness - of this workout and, being the masochist that I am, I decided to give it a go*. Because, even though I will still be teaching lessons through the end of this coming week, and will be working as the "Dorm Mom" for three weeks at this summer music camp next month**, it essentially is summer vacation for me. Meaning that I spent all of Friday in a horizontal position on the couch watching bad television, surfing the internets and shoving Cheetos into my face hole. And so I woke up Saturday morning feeling like a complete flabtastic mess and decided to do something about it. Also, my Monthly Confirmation That I Am Indeed Without Child is essentially over and so I am finally capable of doing something else besides flailing about on the couch, while rubbing my back and cursing at my ovaries.

Anyway, Day 1 of The 30-Day Torture was yesterday and I am proud to say I got through it alright. At least I thought I did until I went to get a drink of water and my arm muscles were so zapped that, as I lifted the glass towards my face, my arms gave out and the ice water ended up all over the right side of my face instead of in my mouth. And then my first words this morning as I rolled out of bed and stepped foot on the floor were, "SON OF A ---!" I am feeling it especially in the calves, thighs and ass area, so I am walking very gingerly around the apartment like a bow-legged geriatric. But it's the good kind of pain, right? In any case, just completed Day 2 this morning. Am rewarding myself with a good gigantic cup of coffee. And hopefully zero Cheetos...

Oh, and in Totally Depressing and Self-Pitying and How-The-Hell-Did-I-Become-So-Codependent News: Schmooblebunnies left for Spring Training for his drum corps this weekend and will be gone for a whole week. And my birthday is tomorrow. *cue violins* And so I will be turning twenty-nine (ack ack ack) with no Schmoobs and no family and no good friends to celebrate with. But at least I will have Bela and BB! Not quite sure what I will do yet. So far, the only thing I can think of is to buy a bottle of celebratory something and have a birthday cocktail or two at home if only so I can write a belligerent and nonsensical drunken birthday post. How does that sound? Completely pathetic and depressing, right? Blurgh!

* ps. The entire workout DVD set is posted on YouTube so I didn't have to buy anything. Huzzah!

** $600 a week just to corral a bunch of adolescent band nerds? Yes please! Or wait....

*****

UPDATE:

Just got back from having dinner at a friend's house. Actually two friends. They're a couple who are getting married in a couple of weeks. And one of them is Scott's (now former) TA at his job, Jen, and the other is her fiancee, Mason, who is a middle school band director. I texted them earlier to see if they wanted to grab a drink this evening (Look at me all initiating social time ... with other humans no less!) and somehow finagled an invite over to their place for dinner and drinks. Anyway. Mason and I polished off a bottle of Riesling at dinner while Jen had some disgusting cocktail of Rum and orange juice (*blergh*...Rum. My stomach shudders at the thought. And mixed with sugary fruit juice? Pardon me while I hold my finger against my lips to prevent the vomit from coming out...). And dinner was homemade chicken enchiladas. Yum. And they called me back just in the nick of time, seeing as how I was getting ready to make a dinner of banana and chocolate muffins and maybe some jello for dinner (I'm not kidding). I think the enchiladas and wine was a tastier choice. Although I fear I may have the dreaded Liquor Sh*ts tomorrow. I cal already feel it in my booooowels.  Ack.

1. Will this interfere with my 30-Day Shred routine?

2. I hope not because walking around as if I have just recently received legs and am learning a new set of motor skills is quite entertaining and I would like to prolong that experience as much as possible.

3. I think this may officially disqualify my plan to get liquored up and write a belligerent blog post tomorrow night, seeing as how I am old and no longer in the game and unable to handle consecutive nights of alcohol. Which is probably for the best. But what to do tomorrow? Blarh.