In case you were wondering...

I have now completed three doctoral program applications and have decided to reward myself with an afternoon glass of Merlot while attempting an improvised asparagus, caramelized onion and goat cheese frittata with a crispy (hopefully) potato crust. Wait, does adding a crust automatically make it a quiche? Is that what makes a quiche a quiche and not a frittata? Also, remember this summer in Brevard when my kweech was poisoned for like six weeks?

Anyway, a few days ago, I had made a batch of asparagus, goat cheese and onion crescent rolls for dinner and had a bunch of blanched asparagus and caramelized onions leftover so I figured I'd use them up now. Hey, in case you're ever in the mood for a super easy and crazy delicious appetizer, do this:

• Slice a bunch of asparagus so that each stalk is in two pieces, about 3 or so inches long. Then blanch them in salted water for not very long at all, just until they turn bright green and are not even really tender yet. I don't know, maybe three minutes? Depends on how thick they are to begin with.
• Now, caramelize up some onions. I used two medium-ish sized ones and ended up with some leftover. You don't know how to caramelize onions? Ech, watch more Food Network. Just kidding. I basically just cook in olive oil or butter over low heat with a couple splashes of balsamic vinegar and a healthy amount of black pepper. At the end, I add salt.
• Then, open up one of those Pillsbury insta-crescent rolls. I usually buy generic because they are cheaper and I am poor. Just as good. However, I don't know if this is a generic-brand thing, but I can NEVER get one of those cans to *pop* open while I am pulling the paper wrapping off like it says it's going to. I end up screaming at the completely-stripped cardboard can and banging it against the counter and pushing in at the perforations with my thumb until it finally explodes in my face. 
• Anyway, roll out the dough in the can and separate the little individual triangle shaped pieces. At the large end of each triangle, place some goat cheese, two or three asparagus pieces and a spoonful of the onions. Then roll each one towards the tip and arrange on a baking sheet. No need to grease the sheet, because these insta-rolls are so buttery already.
• Bake according to the insta-rolls directions. Probably 375-ish degrees for about 10 or 11 minutes. Just until the tops of the rolls turn a golden brown.
• Stuff them all in your face. You can share if you feel like it. The end.

I'd show you pictures, but they are all already in my belly (did I mention that my face is totally bloated?). Well, out in the city sewage center, if you want to be specific.