1. Bela's habit of binge-eating his breakfast and then throwing it up five minutes later is fairly irritating. Especially when I don't catch it and I only figure out it happened because later in the afternoon, BB will throw up Bela's throw up. And then I will have to clean it up. And then I will nearly throw up. Or I will catch it in time and clean it up. And then the soggy cat food chunks mixed with the bile will seep through the many layers of paper towels and will touch my hand skin. And then I will nearly throw up.
2. I finally decided to put the variety of workout DVDs my sister sent me many, many weeks ago to use this morning. Fifteen to twenty minutes in and I was feeling good. By " feeling good" I mean "panting and ready to vomit." And then the workout instructor was all, "All right, we're almost done with the warm-up!" Goddamnit!! But then I made myself work through the next ten minutes of intense cardio and then the guy was like, "Great job! We're at the end of the first set." AND THEN HE TALKED ABOUT DOING TWO MORE SETS. Eff that. No, just kidding. I went through the warm-up and TWO sets before calling it quits and crawling to my coffee maker. I figure if I can keep up with the two sets for maybe three to five days, I'll be able to work my way up through the entire workout (+ third set, plus some 6 minute ab nonsense, then cool down) in a couple of weeks.
3. I've been thinking a lot lately. About jobs and careers and yada yada. The realization I had yesterday? That I think I'm just built to be self-employed. Period. Clearly, my dislike for interacting with a vast majority of the human population (at least in terms of employment) lends itself to that. I enjoy teaching - for the most part - and I actually think I'm good at it. But do I want to invest another 3 years of money and time to get a stupid third degree just to be eligible for the job pool? NO. The problem is that, besides teaching and occasionally blowing on the devil stick, the only things I enjoy doing and am skilled at are roasting trays of vegetables and writing poop stories. Or writing about twice-recycled animal puke. Or writing about my ridiculously bad taste for television. Or judging conservatrons on Facebook. Or maintaining an impressively high success rate at predicting which home the people choose on HGTV House Hunters. Or making things that involve being artsy fartsy. Now I just have to figure out how to make those particular life skills financially profitable.
4. Our kitchen garbage can has been past max capacity for over three days. I'm glad I finally took it out today. I think there were things growing in there that were probably two days away from growing legs and attacking me in the middle of the night.
5. One of the few things that I enjoy about having Schmoobliebottombuns gone for an extended period of time? Bridezillas marathons on WE! These betches be craaazy.
Yesterday morning I woke up to BB sleeping next to my head. Belly up and upside down on Schmoobs' pillow. Heartsplosion!
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