Stupid poopy dodo heads on Facebook.

I think the number one most irritating thing about being a bleeding heart West Coast liberal living in the South surrounded daily by non-like minded young conservatrons is the multitude of exasperatingly idiotic Facebook statuses and comment threads that I cannot seem to get myself to stop reading. No matter how many times Schmoobliedoos tells me to stop, I cannot bring myself to just ignore them and will, without fail, read them and then I will yell to myself and then I will read some more and then I will yell at Schmoobs and then he will tell me to stop reading and then I will read some more and then I will occasionally write something back to the ignorant idiot(s) on Facebook and then I will get doubly worked up and yell at anything and everything in the universe and then Schmoobs will roll his eyes and throw his hands up in the air and then I will keep checking my Facebook notifications to see if the stupid-head conservatron idiot has attempted a rebuttal and then if he does I will laugh because the retort will no doubt have just reaffirmed his idiocy and I will turn on the television to watch the Daily Show while reading posts on the Daily Kos all the while continuing to shake my fists and occasionally mumble under my breath at the dummies on Facebook.

You can imagine what my Sunday and Monday evenings were like.

So I wrote this:

Patriotism! Chipotle! Real Housewives! Yeah!


This is the last time I am going to comment on the President Obama/Osama bin Laden news* on Facebook because I think I'm developing an ulcer from getting sucked in by all the pettiness and idiocy. Also, I got some Chipotle for dinner and I'm really looking forward to enjoying it while watching some reality television on Bravo.

Like so many people today, I've been glued to the news sites and my Facebook feed absorbing everything I possibly can about the momentous news we received last night. Much of what I've read on the comment threads has been thoughtful, some has been vulgar, some comedic, a small percentage even apathetic. But I'll tell you what. There's one particular common thread I've been reading all day that I am BEYOND sick of, and I feel the need to vent about it. It usually goes along these lines:

"Let's be clear on this: PRES OBAMA did NOT kill Bin Laden. An American soldier, who Obama just a few weeks ago was debating on whether or not to PAY, did. Obama just happened to be the one in office when our soldiers finally found Osama Bin Laden and took him out. This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!! RE-POST IF YOU AGREE!!" (These chain mail statuses that challenge you to prove and validate your patriotism are my FAVE.)

or

"He didn't kill Bin Laden!!!! Our military did!!!!!" (The extra exclamation points make him extra patriotic, in case you were wondering.)

or

"I don't support the president at all. I believe that the military deserves all the credit. I'm very pro military action in cases where US citizens are in danger." (I didn't realize we had to choose between the two: the President or the military. Okaaay...I guess I choose the military since they have all the weapons.)

I just haven't understood where all this anti-President Obama partisan vitriol is coming from. What happened yesterday was an emotional victory for ALL AMERICANS. So I listened to the Presidential announcement. I even listened to it again this morning to make sure I didn't miss something. Where was the part where President Obama took ALL the credit and did not mention our military and intelligence agencies even once? Hm. Maybe I was busy Facebooking. So to be sure, I found the transcript of President Obama's announcement and went through it with a fine-toothed comb. It wasn't difficult - only two pages long. And because it has apparently come to this, I made note of Every. Single. Time. credit was given by the President, whether it was to himself, the military/intelligence community, or the American people as a whole. And I kept a tally. Ready? Here we go:

1. "the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden" (Point: Americans)

2. "Over the last 10 years, thanks to the tireless and heroic work of our military and our counterterrorism professionals" (Point: Military and Intelligence)

3. "we removed the Taliban government, which had given bin Laden and al-Qaida safe haven and support" ('We' in context of same paragraph as #2. Point: Military and Intelligence)

4. "We’ve disrupted terrorist attacks and strengthened our homeland defense" (See #3. Point: Military and Intelligence.)

5. "we worked with our friends and allies to capture or kill scores of al-Qaida terrorists"(See #4. Point: Military and Intelligence.)

6. "I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al-Qaida." (Point: President. Selfish!)

7. "after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community" (Point: Military and Intelligence)

8. "I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden" (Point: President)

9. "I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan" (Point: Tie - President and Military and Intelligence)

10. "I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action, and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice" (Point: President)

11. "at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan" (Point: President. Uh oh! He's on a roll...watch out!)

12. "a small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability" (Point: Military and Intelligence, implied)

13. "they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body" (Point: Military and Intelligence. I bolded it and underscored "they" for dramatic emphasis. It's an effective technique. But not as effective as multiple exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!! See?)

14. "I’ve made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam" (Wow. Point: President. But he also essentially awards a point to President Bush, and I'm pretty sure they cancel each other out. So I'll just say Point: Neutral)

15. "I’ve repeatedly made clear that we would take action within Pakistan if we knew where bin Laden was" (Point: President)

16. "it’s important to note that our counterterrorism cooperation with Pakistan helped lead us to bin Laden and the compound where he was hiding" (Point: Military and Intelligence.....? But it's in reference to Pakistan. Man, I don't even know what to do with that one. Eh, I'll allow it.)

17. "These efforts weigh on me every time I, as Commander in Chief, have to sign a letter to a family that has lost a loved one, or look into the eyes of a service member who’s been gravely wounded" (Point: President. But, then again, he is taking responsibility for the loss of American lives...so I'll cancel out that point as well.)

18. "we give thanks to the countless intelligence and counterterrorism professionals who’ve worked tirelessly" (Point: Military and Intelligence)

19. "We give thanks for the men who carried out this operation, for they exemplify the professionalism, patriotism and unparalleled courage of those who serve our country" (Point: Military and Intelligence)

Alright. Phew. Let's take a look at the final score.

Americans: 1

President Obama: 6

Military and Intelligence Agencies: 11

DING DING DING!

There you have it folks. The overwhelming majority of the credit and thanks was given by OUR President to this nation's brave servicemen and women and the intelligence community, rightfully so. But he also took on some responsibility and, yes, some of the credit. Also, rightfully so. HE'S THE FREAKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

I'm not sure if this little project achieved anything for me except to unload some frustration and anger, which would have otherwise manifested in a long and loud string of curse words. And then I would have had to go to confession.  Also, it is the week before Finals and, as an educator, that means that while my students freak out over their overwhelming stress loads, I get to spend my time writing inane things like this and making money angels on the bed, which is where I throw all of my expendable income from my grossly exorbitant salary. At least, I can walk away from this feeling like I've made at least a small point without getting into a mess of idiotic arguing with people who are concerned less with becoming better informed, and more with winning a stupid pointless argument.In the end, this all feels incredibly silly. But, sadly, for many this is what passes for patriotism these days: a silly, petty game of I Win/You Lose.

I don't know. I guess I'll just leave with the President's final words in his speech:

"Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America."

* I rarely keep promises like this btw.

By the way, let the records show that I have no problem with right-leaning people who happen to favor a  conservative view on politics. As long as they are thoughtful and well-read and informed. My problem - left or right alike (but mostly right) - is with people who spew all manner of idiocy and ignorance on Facebook when they are so clearly completely clueless about the issues at hand. Ugh. I need to go rub BB's belly to simmer down.


***

Also, I spent the last hour and a half preparing us a nice shrimp and vegetables with peanut sauce on a bed of quinoa dinner and as I was fixing to serve it up:


Ys: How hungry are you?

Schmoobs: Um...not very.

Ys: ...Me neither.

Schmoobs: Hm.

Ys: Yeah.

Schmoobs: Want to just eat that for dinner tomorrow?

Ys: Sure.


Well at least I don't have to cook tomorrow night!