5.13.2011

Poonuts.

Although I love him dearly and would change nary a thing about him (Ladies: "HAHAHAHAHAH"), I do have to say that I find Schmooblebutts' habit of leaving packages of food lying around within reach of BB to be less than ideal. Case in point, a couple of days ago Schmoobs had already gone to work and I woke up to find this scene on our living room couch:


Usually when this sort of thing happens (Girl Scout cookies, Star*ucks iced lemon pound cake, Campbell's soup in a microwavable can, etc.) there will be nothing but the package with dozens of puppy tooth marks and some crumbs left, so the fact that there was still a fairly full can of mixed nuts to salvage was a promising sign. I texted the picture to Schmoobs and he responded with "Bad puppy!"  Bad puppy, indeed. More like "Bad Schmooblebuns!" We concluded that it was at least good that she didn't seem to eat much of the nuts, if any, and left it at that.

But rest assured, Schmoobs got his punishment later that night when, while getting ready for bed, he went to the kitchen for a glass of water and saw that BB had left a gift for him to clean up by her puppy pad. Next thing I hear is this: "Uh...hon? It looks like BB did eat some peanuts. ...And I don't think I'm going to be eating any anytime soon..."

***

Oh, there's this: I am teaching this summer! A session (maybe more?) of Woodwind Literature. A graduate level course. Yow! I have no idea what and how I'm supposed to teach this class since I've never done it before, but, hey, I've got almost an entire month to figure it out! And, best of all, I get to pay my bills this summer without selling my kidneys and molars on the black market! Everybody wins! Except for the people that need my kidneys and molars. Just in case you're wondering, this is how I got the gig:

Department Head email to all faculty: "I need faculty personnel to teach some summer courses."

Ys: "Pick me? Even though I'm only adjunct?"

Department Head: "If nobody on the full-time faculty expresses interest soon, it's yours."

Ys (five days later): "Pick me?"

Department Head: "If nobody on the full-time faculty volunteers by the end of the day, it's yours."

Ys: "Pick me?"

Ys: sends email to all faculty that says "I'll teach Woodwind Lit" followed by exclamation point and happy face emoticon

Department Head: no response at end of day

Ys (next day): "Pick me? I know I'm being very insistent/persistent, but... PICK ME?"

Department Head: "Ysabel, it's yours."

Ys: "YAY!"


Also, Schmoobs did THIS.


And one more thing: You know what's even more terrifying than sitting on your couch while the President of the Finer Things Club creeps slowly up towards you with his eyes all dilated while licking his chops because he has decided to feast on your toes? Sitting ON THE TOILET GOING TO THE BATHROOM while the President of the Finer Things Club creeps slowly up towards you with his eyes all dilated while licking his chops because he has decided to feast on your toes. YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE. Helpless. Like a pile of fresh meat that can't even finish up her business and run away because her sphincter has literally tightened up from fear of being attacked by her freaking house cat. Gah!

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