Speaking of being "sick" (note the quotation marks).orFacebook strikes again!

I received this in my inbox yesterday morning:

Cue the violins! Not really. I may have dug deep somewhere in the cold, black recesses of my heart and allowed her to make up the quiz...if it weren't for this posting later that evening:

Whoops!

In the meantime, I continue to be very preoccupied with the goings-on of my output jack. It's better than yesterday, though. Pepto Bismol: it's a good thing. Perhaps I can summon the courage to eat a bowl of soup later. Though what I really want is a yogurt parfait and a steaming hot mug of coffee. ...But can you imagine? *shudder*

Yesterday (same day as BB's salon appointment, I know...it was a busy day for the Beebla), I took Bela in to see the vet because we noticed that he had lost quite a bit of weight, even though he continues to eat like a horse. The doc confirmed that he was underweight for his size. They did a urine analysis  and detected a slight urinary infection for which he was prescribed some antibiotics, but which did not explain the weight loss. So I brought him back in today to get some blood work done. :( Sad face. They suspect it may be an overactive thyroid. Poor Bela. We'll know more on Monday, but until then - think good thoughts for the President of the Finer Things Club!

Well, this is quite an unfortunate development.

Hey, you know what I hate? THE STOMACH FLU. You know, that bug that all your students have been sending you emails about all week saying, "Ms. Sarte, I can't come to class" this and "Ms. Sarte, I'm sick and need to make up the quiz" that. That one. The one that bites you in the sphincter at the precise moment that your weekend begins. ANGRY FACE!

Anyway, I'd really like for my bowels to just go ahead and empty themselves out once and for all because all this going to the bathroom every five minutes is getting really tiresome. Also: I am very hungry but am understandably too scared ("sh*tless"? ...I wish) to eat anything, which is probably the most frustrating thing about all this. /vent


ETA: Oh God. I just realized how thankful I am that I didn't stop at the grocery store on my way home today to pick up some deliciously poisonous yogurt. I've been having cravings and was a second away from giving in to the uncharacteristically healthy temptation of fruit and yogurt. But I didn't, thank Jeebus. Can you imagine what hell I would be going through right now if I was subjected to both a stomach virus and lactose poisoning?? Gah! My body would probably have turned itself inside out. 

So I've come to terms with my lost photos.

I am right, anyway. All the truly meaningful photos are safely stored away in any number of interwebular hosts like this blahg and Flickr, so I shouldn't fret. And, since I have been meaning - lo, these...years and years - to go through all my photos and sort through, discard and organize them, I guess this was my karmic "You snooze, you lose!" message from the universe. Sigh. It'll be alright.

What I am not so easily able to come to terms with is when people continue to make terribly misinformed and ignorant political statements on their Facebook statuses! Especially when said people are students at the university I teach, which prevents me (through my own design) from commenting on any of their Facebook activity. I mean, I will never fault anybody for disagreeing with my beliefs and opinions, whether the matter is political, social, religious, etc. - as long as your views are thoughtful and informed.

Case in point:

I mean. ...REALLY? Fo' realzies? This entire ridiculous debate isn't whether you get to have private insurance or whether this terrible "socialist" government is going to snatch it away from you. It's whether the government will be allowed to offer precisely this type of subsidized, affordable healthcare to less fortunate Americans who either cannot otherwise afford these benefits from private insurance companies or aren't able to enroll in any private insurance plan because of a pre-existing condition. I wonder if this student realizes how instantly her viewpoint would change if she were to wake up tomorrow with a different life in which she was born with a genetic heart defect and would not be accepted into any insurance plan...and would then have to pay thousands of dollars for basic healthcare needs - or not receive treatment at all. Ugh. Bleargh. As the great orator Ice Cube once said: "Check yo' self before u wreck yo' self," young miss.

Anyway, on to better news:

1. I get to sleep in tomorrow. Damn straight.

2. I continue to rock it out with my courses this semester. Though I was perhaps slightly less beloved this morning because my Music Lit class was subject to their very first quiz of the semester, I feel certain that they will continue to worship the very earth upon which my deliciously comfortable Aerosole loafers tread. And they better considering all the care and prep work I put into planning their classes.

3. BB got a "shave and a haircut..." (two bits!) today. Her previous grooming appointment was scheduled for early December, but it had to be cancelled because the groomers refused to see her until her uterus-yanking sutures had healed completely, which didn't happen for...a while. But finally - spurred by the hell that is pulling enormous amounts of dingleberries from her anus and repeatedly washing her pee-matted fur in the tub - Schmoobs and I were able to schedule an appointment for her this morning. 

BEFORE

 Grrrall. I look not unlike Nick Nolte. Gimme treats or I roll around in my own feces while you're away at work again.

 (I am Nick Nolte. Gimme treats or I'll roll around in my own feces, too.)

AFTER

Awww! There's the BB we know and love. SO FRESH AND SO CLEAN CLEAN!

I want to dig a giant hole, then fill it with tequila and vodka, then throw myself in it, then have BB kick the dirt back over me and bury me for all eternity. (Or at least until the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion on Thursday.)

So I went to Target today and bought myself a flash drive so I could be all organizational and productive and stuff.

Tonight, after moving all my work documents, I decided to take a step towards greater computerized organization and move all my photos into the flash drive. So I took all the .jpg files from my personal folder and copied them into a new folder named "Pics" that was then going to get moved to my flash drive. Then I deleted all said .jpg files from my personal folder to the trash. And then I emptied my trash.

But then I opened up my new "Pics" folder and IT WAS EMPTY.

All gone.

ALL.

GONE.

*poof* Off into the unreachable interwebs ether.


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WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


...I'm summoning up all the optimism I can possibly muster  with every ounce of my being to tell myself that - if the pictures were really all that important to me, they would already be in my blog, or Flickr account, or Facebook, or iPhoto. Right? RIGHT?!?!

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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!




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BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!


...Ugh. At least my laptop feels lighter already.


UPDATE:

Well. I found one folder of pictures that miraculously managed to evade The Great Idiotic Photo Purge of 2011. So at least I still have about twenty photos of BB from 2009 and photos of my mom's visit to Texas two years ago. Hahaha...

Happy Saturday, yo.

After enjoying a glass of red wine last night while watching this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale (note: yowza) and then subsequently passing out on the couch and waking up at 2:30am to the strains of paid programming on the television, I meandered over to bed and woke up ready to go on a nice refreshing jog with BB for her morning Walk n' Tinkles. We were walking along the marina when one of the managers for the marina/grounds crew, a very nice middle-aged gentleman with white hair, stopped to chat. By "stopped", I mean he drove by in his white work pick-up truck, waved hello, turned around at the end of the marina, stopped when he got back to us and got out of his truck and immediately made a beeline towards BB. And by "chat", I mean spend twenty minutes talking about Shih Tzus and Lhasa Apsos and Pekingese and Shorkies (Schnauzer + Yorkie), all of which he has owned at some point. And by "talking", I mean he spent nearly the entire twenty minutes crouched down rubbing BB's head and belly while making hilariously unabashed baby cooing noises at her. Even when BB had to get up and take a dump, tottering around on her toes with arched back and watery eyes as she struggled with a stubborn turd, I had to bite my lip as he cooed in a baby voice, "Oh! That's a good girl! You can do it! Do you have a stubborn poop? Huh? Do ya? Have a stubborn poop? You can do it, girl!" Hahaha. It was out of control. He had no shame.

In other news: I only had half a workweek last week because my first day of teaching wasn't until Wednesday, but MAN it felt like forever. Teaching three core classes back to back to back starting at 8 in the morning means that you better be effing ready with all of your lecture material before you go to sleep at night, otherwise you are screwed. The good news is that I've already started getting positive  feedback from my students. With Schmoobins' help, I have discovered my new favorite teaching tool, and it is the almighty Keynote presentation for lectures. Omigod. If I could make sweet sweet loving to Keynote, I think I would. It's like cheating and being able to look at all your lecture notes during class without trying to be subtle! Except without risk of trying to be so subtle in front of your students that you forget to go over certain important points during your lecture and then kicking yourself in the head later that day!

On a somewhat related note (I promise): Did you know that the best time to go thrift shopping is directly after the holidays? It makes sense, if you think about it. All the richie riches get brand new pricey designer duds during the holidays and end up unloading their perfectly fine, last season's wares to the poor, needy adjunct peasants. I'll take it! Anyway, I decided to stop by a thrift store after teaching lessons on Wednesday - it's on my route home - and scored a number of cute yet professional tops for $1.99 each, as well as a nice pair of brown heels and a pair of brown heeled loafer Aerosoles for $4.99 each! All in great condition and all perfect for teaching. Note: I totally could have chosen a very sassy but completely impractical pair of blue peep-toe stilletos, but I chose the Aerosoles instead. Holy crap. Since when do I choose super comfortable, practical Aerosoles loafers that I will end up wearing to work at least twice a week over a pair of disgustingly high, brightly-colored, attention-grabbing heels that I would wear maybe twice a year?! Whatever, these Aerosoles are so comfortable and go perfectly with my work slacks and are super functional and OMIGOD I AM OLD FOR SURE THIS JUST PROVED IT AAAAAACK.

Anyway. Time for coffee and a BM. Byeeeee!

Working Day Off.

Hey, have I mentioned that I only have to teach three days a week this semester? Boo. Yah. However, the three courses that I am teaching being three intensive core classes for music majors, these "days off" actually end up being "many hours of preparing for the next day's lectures and lesson plans" anyway. But at least I don't have to commute two hours a day to do so. And can do my work while watching a Bridezillas marathon on television.

So after spending the morning preparing a Keynote lecture for tomorrow's Music Lit (For music majors! Yay! All sixty-five of them! In one room! ACK!), I felt guilty about skipping yesterday's workout, so I bundled myself up in an undershirt, sweater, hoodie, fleece scarf, knit cap, and sweats, and wrapped BB in her bright pink Snuggie (yep) and ventured outside for a brisk arctic jog. We only lasted about ten or fifteen minutes before I gave up and ran back to the warm comfort of the indoors. Factoring in the wind chill, it was nineteen degrees out. Bleh. But I did do some ass and abs exercises inside. And then I rewarded myself with more coffee. And a puff of some Ventolin. Mmm...Ventolin.

Oh. Hello 6am.orIs it May yet?

Though I don't have to start teaching until tomorrow*, the first official day of classes for Spring semester was today and I decided to be a good little teacher and make the commute to campus to make literally 1,754 pages of copies of assorted syllabi, schedules and lecture notes/study guides for my classes. As I was getting dressed, I realized that for some effing reason, I had zero work slacks in my closet. None. There were at least four pairs of jeans neatly hanging and about eleventy pairs of sweats and pajamas in the drawers (priorities, anyone?) but no nice dress slacks. Where did they all go? Did they all boycott Texass and fly to the Bahamas until Spring Break? And if so, why in the hell didn't they tell me so I could come along, damnit?

Anyway, since I figured I probably shouldn't show up to work on the first day of the semester in jeans (that will start roughly around week three), I dressed myself in the easiest nice-looking outfit I could put together which was a black turtleneck sweater dress, black tights and black boots. And a black jacket. I threw on my fancy schmancy plaid Burberry scarf just so I didn't look like Morticia Addams. Schmoobs saw me at work and commented that all I needed was a black scarf to complete my all-black funereal look. I told him that since it was my first day back at work, I was mourning my freedom.


* So before Christmas break, I totally convinced our music department head to switch my teaching assignment sections around this semester in such a way that allows me to teach at the university only three days a week instead of five. Woo hoo! Self high five. *clap*

Oprah says...

...Unfortunately, I only had one measly Midol left in the medicine cabinet this morning! Uh oh...

...Just kidding. Only I have a Monthly Backache of Doom (I hope, for your sake.).

Can you tell that I really don't want to get to work creating my syllabi and class schedules for the semester?

***

UPDATE:

Thank goodness for Ibuprofen as a backup. Two pills later and I'm good as new! Also, the subsequent chemical numbing of the Monthly Backache of Doom has allowed me to stop moaning and whining (for now) and actually get some work done. Take that, course syllabuseseses and schedules!

Also: Please allow me this brief moment of self-love (not that kind, you perv) and say that I have still not had any fast food or soda since the beginning of Operation: Anti-Bloat Face and I have been exercising regularly (almost daily!) for a couple of weeks. The exercise only consists of 1.5 to 2 miles run-walk-run-walk-sprint-jog-walking, but it is making a difference. In fact, the improvement in diet and the minimal but regular physical activity - plus the addition of probiotics and daily children's gummy vitamins to my nightly routine - has resulted in me losing my perpetually "bloated" stomach and shedding about 4 pounds! Which is close to all I really wanted to do. Just a couple more to get back to my health goal and then it'll just be maintenance from then on...which is the real challenge if you think about it. 

Related note: Schmoobs and I went out last night (partial belated Christmas present to me!) and I ordered a slice of Chocolate Ganache Layered Cake with Buttercream Frosting for dessert. HOWEVER. I ate only until I was satisfied (as opposed to gluttonously overfull, as was my M.O. previously) and packed the rest for later. Go me. Anyway, I decided to check on my fitness status this morning and the scale said I gained like six pounds. *shakes fist in air* BUTTERRRCREEEEAAAMMMM!!!!

...No, but seriously, I was wearing heavy boots and a coat at the time, so I'm not worried :)

Schmooblebuns' major senior moment.

My mom has competition:

The other night, Schmoobles put in a load of laundry in our washer. A minute later, I noticed that it sounded odd so I opened the doors to our washer/dryer nook and laughed. He had left the lid of the washer up while he ran a load of laundry, which explained why the machine sounded louder than usual. We giggled about it, I closed the lid and left it at that. Just now, he asks: "Did you notice anything else strange when the washer was making that weird sound the other day?" No, I said. I closed the lid. Schmoobs: "It was empty... because I put my dirty clothes in the dryer."

This is what happens when you date an older man, I guess. Hahaha.

LAST grade* school application sent.

Ever since I've gotten back to Texass, I've had nothing but uncomfortable, awkward anxiety dreams every night. Like dreaming that I am wearing stiletto heels and every surface that I try to walk on is slick so I keep falling on my ass. Those types. I can only attribute this to the fact that I now have only to sit and wait and perform sacrifices towards the musicology gods that I will be accepted to at least one program this Spring. And that that program will give me an assistantship so that I can actually afford to go.

Actually, I misspoke. I've had at least two non-anxiety dreams. A couple nights ago, I dreamt that I discovered this fabulous new type of mascara that, instead of being applied with a traditional mascara wand, was applied with something closer to a itty bitty flat paintbrush and made your lashes super long and fabulous. It was pretty cool. And then last night I dreamt that I uploaded all my California holiday pictures and posted them on this blog. So maybe I'll do that later today. Maybe.

Also: My first day of teaching this semester is next Wednesday, which means that I am down to three days left to, you know, prepare syllabi, course schedules, lecture materials, etc. etc. Bleh.


* I'm keeping that "e" typo because it is awesome and also very telling. Thanks Dan :D

Because I didn't want to be lame and post this on my Facebook.

...But I had to post it somewhere because I WANT MONEY. (Plus, hey I just saved $1 on a lottery ticket!)

"This year July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays & 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years. This is called money bags. So copy this to your status & money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese Feng Shui. The one who does not copy will be without money."


Alright! Shoooow meee the mooonnneeeeey!

Hey y'aaaallll! (ugh)

Well. Here I am back in Texas.

Pros:

1. The Schmoobeebla is reunited in full! Nope, Bela did not miss BB at all.
2. No more traveling for BB in the very immediate future, so no more nausea and wretching.
3. Every day here is another day closer to (HOOOOPEFULLYYY) getting in to a good PhD program and getting the hell out of dodge.
4. For Christmas, Schmoobeebla got Netflix, Airport Extreme AND Apple TV. Instant Avatar: The Last Airbender on our television!

Cons:

1. I am back in Texass.
2. It is cold as a mofo here. It snowed over the weekend and it has not all melted yet. And what has melted has just turned into a slick icy cover on everything. Particularly the steep staircase that leads from our third-floor condo down to the parking lot. Taking BB out for walks n' tinkles twice a day is like a battle to keep my life every single time. Also, I stayed warm last night only by sleeping under no less than two thick furry blankets and a comforter. The 6am wake ups when classes start again next week will be pure torture.
3. I have to re-acclimate myself to the limited food choices here again. Less than 24 hours back here, I found myself thinking, "I should go get something to eat. But it's past 9pm. And I don't want fast food. ...Oh well."
4. I miss my family and the readiness of friends already! But at least I have my Schmoobeebla.


Anyway, I have tons of holiday pictures to post. Someday.

Ok, how about just one for now:

So during my lat weekend in CA, my older brother called and asked if we'd be interested in meeting up in San Francisco for the day, which resulted in a fun spontaneous trip to the city with him, his girlfriend, my sister and her family and my mom! We went to the Walt Disney Family Museum (which was actually more interesting than a non-Disney-freak such as myself expected) and then dinner at Fisherman's Wharf. On the drive to dinner, my brother stopped at a light next to the Weinermobile. San Francisco and a giant hotdog shaped vehicle?? It's like a dream come true!

Back to Texass today.

...But maybe for the last time? (fingers, toes, earlobes, fallopian tubes, etc. crossed)

Operation: Anti-Bloat Face update.

Did you know that it is five days after New Year's and I still haven't had any fast food or soda (except for two sips of Coke last week when I had sushi with Schmoobs, my sister and her family because I am weak)? I am precisely four weeks clean! Go me.

My dear mother has been peer-pressuring me into going to Curves with her. She has been doing really well with her exercise regimen and is becoming noticably svelter (?) by the minute. I, in the meantime, can actually make my lungs seize up just by thinking about working out. However, after putting off our planned Curves field trip last night and then accidentally sleeping through our make-up Curves field trip this morning, I finally went ahead and made myself go on a 30 minute run (...walk...run...walk...walk some more...run for ten seconds...walk the rest of the way) outside in the frigid arctic tundra. Note: when it is 30+ degrees out, a sports bra plus three layers is NOT enough to contain the nipplage. Especially when you are wearing white. Just saying. Also, my chest only closed up once, about halfway through, which is good and I only had to spend about two minutes with a panicked, bug-eyed look along which may or may not have disturbed the drivers going past me on Highway 12. But I'm back home, safe and warm now. *reaches for steaming hot mug of coffee and arsenal of inhalers*

Also, speaking of my mommy, I met her and her friend/coworker Maria for a delicious Puerto Rican lunch yesterday. Sweet fried plantains FTW!

 Chicharron de pollo (that's "fried chicken" to you) and sweet plantains. NOM.

Sweet plantain stuffed with cheese and beef. NOM NOM.

Maria was awesome and reads my blahg (hi Maria!). And then we got coffee. And then we walked by Sift Cupcakes which, I found out an hour later, is going to be featured on the Food Network's Cupcake Wars next week. I kind of wish I hadn't decided to be a good Anti-Bloat Facer then and had a cupcake. Oh well. And then I went "window shopping" where I ended up getting a pair of skinny jeans, marked down from $60 to $2.99 and a cute little black cocktail dress, marked down from $48 to $2.99. Yea boiii!

Anyway, after a very brief 2 day visit back to Santa Rosa, it is back to Sacatomato for me today where I will be reunited with my puppy. Yayyy! BB stayed behind in Sac so as to avoid the nausea and extended wretching that always strike her from carsickness. Luckily, I left her in the loving and smothering good hands of Kat and Vanessa. I wonder if she and Xander are spooning yet? At least they can be in the same room without World War III erupting now.

Also: 4 8 15 16 23 42... 4 8 15 16 23 42... 4 8 15 16 23 42... 4 8 15 16 23 42...

Happy New Year!

Celebrated the night with a group of old friends. Friends who, in college, would not have started partying until probably eleven at night and ending at perhaps 4 in the morning. Sometimes when the sun came up. Ten years later, we were all counting down the minutes until midnight starting around 10pm and griping about wanting midnight to hurry up and get here so we could all go home and sleep. I guess we really all have grown up. But it was still a great time!

Note: The Shady Lady in mid-town Sacramento is awesome! A 1920s-themed speakeasy saloon with great food and lots of amazing drinks. One such drink involved gin, basil, egg whites ...and absinthe.

Dev: "Ys, what's in that drink?"
Ys: "...Asbenth..."
Tiff: "It's working!"

With our twelve-person party eating and drinking for five hours on New Year's Eve, our check at the end of the night came out to only $450! Needless to say, our waitress got a very generous tip from our table. Happy New Year for everyone!