Ow my bunions. (UPDATE)

Screw high heeled pumps, man. Why can't I just wear flip flops to work?* Bleh.

In other news: these daily 6am wake up calls are going to end me. Seriously, it's only day 2 and I'm already destroyed.

But sending this email did lift my spirits a bit:

* Answer: 1) Because then all of my pants would be too long. 2) Because the three added inches of height help make me look Not-Twelve.


UPDATE:

Ok, so he just copied and pasted. But I'll take it as a start!

Do I really have to wake up at 6am* tomorrow?

To teach classes?? Meh, I say!

In light of the fact that I have to go to bed early like a good little senior citizen (thirty is the new seventy), I will leave you with this:

Schmoobz and I went to Target this afternoon to pick up some back to school supplies and, because it wouldn't be right to leave Target without at least one unnecessary impulse purchase, we also picked up a large tub of roasted almonds.

Upon returning home and opening up the lid, Schmoobles was met with the standard vacuum-sealed protective seal. As I patiently waited to be able to grab a couple of almonds for myself, I watched as Schmoobles started punching the seal. Repeatedly. With his fist. Trying to get to the almonds. Please imagine how hard I had to try to stifle my laughter as I reached over and said, "You're supposed to peel it back..."

And one quick final note: HOW IN THE HELL DID LOST GET SHUT OUT IN THE EMMYS?!?! EFFING NUMBSKULLS THE ACADEMY MUST BE MADE OF. BOOOOOO HISSSSSSSSSSSSS. LOST 4EVAH!

* And by 6am, I inevitably will mean "6:15am" and then "6:30am" and then "6:45... son of a -- !!"

In the immortal words of our forefathers:

He was a bit over dramatic, that Patrick Henry. Must've been the hormones...

Today's lunch is brought to you by The Monthly Hormonal Onslaught.

1. A handful of smoked almonds.
2. A handful of barbecue flavored chips.
3. A hard boiled egg.
4. A nectarine.
5. Two bites of bread.
6. Two small slices of dill Havarti cheese.
7. A few slices of smoked salmon from a package that I opened a few days ago and, hence, may or may not be spoiled.
8. Half a handful of Raisinets.
9. A cup of coffee.

Aaand done (for now).

UPDATED:

Just kidding, not done yet.

10. Tortilla chips and salsa.
11. Seven Mike and Ikes.

UPDATED:

Please don't judge me for this.

12. A can of beans I threw in a pan and mixed with some pieces of cooked chicken and some frozen cauliflower and brocolli then heated over the stove.

Let us never speak of this again...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

You know that Seinfeld episode...

...called "The Opposite" where Jerry realizes that everything in his life always balances out? It's the one where George's life turns around after he decides to do the complete opposite of his natural instincts, whereas Elaine's life turns into a disaster? Jerry always has one successful friend and one loser friend. Jerry loses a gig, but he gets another one the next day. He purposely throws a twenty dollar bill out his window...and George just happens to be outside of Jerry's building at that same moment so he catches it and gives it back to him.

I had a realization at some point this summer that it is the same thing for me. Except that, in my instance, the planets align in such a way that no matter what, my bank account always balances out...to a nice even zero. I get $500 back in my tax refund...and my car needs a new set of tires to pass inspection. I get an increased adjunct teaching load...but my weekly commute increases as well. I get a sweet summer job at a music festival in Brevard...and the state of NC takes exactly the amount out in taxes that I had computed I would be able to save, so that after monthly expenses for the summer are paid for I am left with...zero.

*sigh*

Anyway, this was a long winded way of telling you that I am apparently going to be teaching five - FIVE! - music courses at Commerce this Fall semester: Intro to Music Lit for non-majors, Theory I, two sections of Ear Training I and Freshman Success. And all between the hours of 8am and noon, so I will still be teaching clarinet childrens in Dallas in the afternoons. Criminy! This all means, theoretically, that I should be earning more money this Fall than any other semester here at Texas...but I know better than to start planning for any actual "fun" personal expenses like, I don't know, a new pair of brown boots or a good haircut or something. Especially when I think Winnie the Old Toyota has an oil leak and needs a tire alignment. Bleh. But I'll worry about all that on October 1.

Oy, the anxiety! (plus one piece of good-ish news)

1. I've been having anxiety dreams lately. I'm 99% sure they all stem from my money stresses (Mainly, the fact that my bank account is currently holding on for dear life to remain NOT-negative and my first guaranteed paycheck comes...October 1. GACK!!!). But last night my dream involved all sorts of stabbing and weirdness (nobody I know in real life, thank God) and an African woman saying "She was so soft, Mother. She was so soft, Mother. She was so soft, Mother."  Um. Okay.

2. I've totally been working on my Brevard post and will probably be done in another day or two.

3. BB is currently at PETCO at her periodic beauty salon appointment. Her fur had become such a matted mess over the summer and I can't wait to see her all clean and neatly shorn again. It'll probably be nice for her to have less fur in this heat as well. Also, it will be nice to see her actual sweet face again and not just a giant explosion of fur with a little black nose in the middle.

4. Also, for some reason my brain COMPLETELY blacked this entire week out. As in, I was operating under the assumption that the series of beginning clarinet masterclasses I am teaching start this Thursday and that college classes in Commerce start next Monday. However, I realized yesterday that the masterclasses start next Thursday and the first day of classes in Commerce start in two weeks. Yeesh. That's good news, I guess, since I now have an extra week of procrastinating preparation to do, but that also means that my meager (and I mean MEAGER) bank funds have to stretch out for seven days longer than I originally thought. Bleh.

Whee!

Schmooblybonbonz is back! The Family is complete once again after our Summer of Travels. It was only appropriate that the final step in our reunion would have to involve my driving to Dallas-Love Field airport to pick him up last night...because he forgot that he left his car at Dallas-Fort Worth airport and needed me to give him a ride there. *sigh* As I told Julia on the phone, if I didn't miss him so much, I would have been way annoyed. Ha.

Also, I have totally been taking cold showers since returning to Texas because I couldn't figure out why there was hot water in every tap coming out of the condo EXCEPT the showers. The kitchen got hot water. The bathroom sinks got hot water. I even tried my feeble hand at messing with the hot water heater (well, the little I could muster after reading the instruction manual without feeling like I was going to make the entire place explode) and still no luck. So, I figured I could live with it until Schmoobs came home because, hey did I mention that I apparently live on the surface of the Sun now? TEXAS IS HOT.* Anyway, I mentioned it to Schmoobs in the car last night and he was all, "Oh, there's hot water. You just have to turn the knob only a little bit." And I was all, "What, like in the 'COLD' position?" "Yes." "So 'HOT' means 'COLD' and 'COLD' means 'HOT'?" "Yes....I thought I mentioned that to you."

Ugh. Why didn't I think of that?! You would think that would be one of the first things to check for if you're not getting any hot water in your shower. Whatever. I think the showers froze my brain.

* No, seriously. I left this receipt on the passenger seat of my car for a total of 3 hours while I went to watch "Eat Pray Love"** with a couple of girlfriends on Saturday, and when I got back to my car I saw that THE RECEIPT GOT BAKED. It had turned black, people. That's never happened to me before. Whoa.



** A double asterisk*** maneuver! Anyway, I also wanted to note that there was a surprisingly large amount of audience members with twigs and berries at the movie. Geez, those poor husbands/boyfriends! That movie is like a chick flick on crack.

*** Triple asterisk!!! I can hardly contain myself. Anyway, this morning I went to a meeting for private lesson teachers at a new district I'm teaching for this year and the nice young lady who was leading the meeting kept saying "asterick." "Asterick" this and "asterick" that. AAAGH! I nearly clawed my own ears out. She also said, "Nip it in the butt." Blargh.

Confessions of a thirty-year old neurotic.

I have these minor facial tics. They're not even facial tics, really, because I'm not THAT psychologically unstable. Just these ...habits... that I tend to have on a regular basis. In a repeated fashion. Like furrowing my left eyebrow. And chewing on my bottom lip. No harm, no foul. Until I effing turned thirty this year and realized that, all of a sudden, these non-tics are now resulting in seemingly permanent creases on my face that won't go away. Not just my aforementioned Furrowed Left Brow Wrinkle of Doom, but now also a newly-discovered Right Corner of Mouth Frowny Wrinkle of Death. BLLAAAARRRRGGH!!! Oil of Olay Wrinkle Cream, take me away!

...Final pictures from Brevard to be posted soon, okay?! I promise!! I'm working on it little by little.

Star*ucks Wi-fi for the win!

Little blonde teenyboppers who drive beautiful shiny black BMW convertibles really STICK IN MY CRAW. Especially when ten minutes earlier, I took Winnie the Trusty Old Toyota through a car wash and I learned (the hard way) that her passenger side window was open a crack. And when I unbuckled my seatbelt to lean over and roll up the window in a wet panic, THE KNOB BROKE OFF. *sigh* Back to the real world, eh?

But anyway, I'm sitting next to a table where two little pre-pubescent boys who wear eyeglasses are sitting with their Frapuccinos and donuts and laptops and textbooks, working on a school project and practicing their fistbumps and being all-around cute and nerdy like good little childrens. This makes me happy.

Brevard --> Texas.

I'm baaaack!

How did you spend your day yesterday? I spent mine awake at 4:30am, on the road with newly acquired friend, Sam, by 5:30am and through the highways and byways of North Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas and Texas until 7:30pm. We managed to find (after much consternation) the one and only Star*ucks along our route between Little Rock and Texas, and we only needed to go back and forth between Arkansas and Texas amidst insufferable Texarkana construction traffic for about 30 minutes before finally finding it:

SUCCESS! But why didn't my delicious iced soy latte make it into the picture?? Boo. But look how artsy fartsy I am with the black and white photo. Note: When did I morph into my younger brother?

And, finally, after over fifteen meltingly hot hours of driving, we made it back to the condo that I had never lived in before and that I only had a vague recollection of how to get to. Thanks (for nothing) for the inaccurate directions, Googlemaps! At one point, with poor Sam behind the wheel, I had to rub my temples and say out loud, "Okay, photographic memory ENGAGE!" And it worked...eventually. And then I walked into the condo to be met with roughly eleventy zillion unpacked moving boxes and an AC unit that had been left completely off for the entire summer. I panickingly turned the thermostat down and collapsed on the couch, waiting for the temperature inside to cool down enough that I could at least find the energy to jump in the shower and perhaps start unpacking some boxes. ...Fast forward to four hours later and I had become a melted puddle on the couch who could summon only the energy to send Schmooblebot two text messages:

"Holy s***balls! A/C works right??"

"I don't feel it getting any cooler in here..."

But all's well that ends well. I managed to get our bedroom, two bathrooms (Whoa, I just realized this is the first time I've had two bathrooms before!), living room and Bela's room (I'll explain later) in some semblance of order before passing out and when I woke up the next morning it was finally down to 78 degrees inside. Worked the whole morning unpacking and organizing boxes so that I can now at least see the majority of the surface area of the floor in the condo and am rewarding myself with an iced soy latte at air-conditioned Star*ucks (how I've missed you!) and a trip to air-conditioned Target (how I've missed you MORE!). Woot.

Will post final Brevard pictures soon.

Brevard: Day Sixty

Ok, just kidding. I'm still tired today. And I have a 5:30am take-off in the morning for a SIXTEEN HOUR CAR RIDE BACK TO ROCKWALL. Vomit. So I'll probably just see you all when I'm back in Texas in the condo that I have never lived in before. Weird.

I SURVIVED BREVARD!

Brevard: Day Fifty-eight and Fifty-nine

Dare I say it? Yesterday and today were the type of days and nights that summer festivals were meant to be and for the first time this summer I'm actually having feelings of missing this place. Weird.

But, for now, I'm supervising the last two hours at French Quarter and am exhausted. Will write more tomorrow. WHICH WILL BE MY LAST FULL DAY IN BREVARD!

Brevard: Day Fifty-seven

Uh, I was way too bloated and blissed out with a distended belly last night to post about this apparently, but Cale totally treated all of us underlings to Deanner at Square Root last night and it was HEAVEN.

Chipmunk cheeks. Still waiting on my "baby fat" to go away...

Silly marrieds.

Our appetizer: Pecan Encrusted Fried Brie with Granny Smith Apples, Crackers and Frangelico Praline Sauce. WOWZA. I think we all soiled our collective panties over this.

My entree: Pork Tenderloin grilled in Jerk seasoning and served with fried plantains, black beans and rice. Sorry about the poor lighting. I was too busy creaming myself over the deliciousness to worry about flash settings.

Their floors are cool.

Brevard: Day Fifty-six

Uh...since when does being an Assistant Dean mean suddenly becoming weirdly busy with various rehearsals and recitals? I guess it's not a bad thing. Another New Music performance tomorrow and then our Maslanka Quintet recital on Friday. A Maslanka performance after 2 weeks of rehearsals? Are we mad?? Yes.

In other news, Erin is completely hooked on LOST and this conversation at lunch totally made my entire week:

Matt: So, do you guys want to go to bowleoke* tonight? It'll be fun.
Erin: But..... I need to find out what everyone else's back stories are.
Matt: What?
Ysabel: Squeeeeee! *claps hands*


* Bowling + Karaoke. Apparently a favored townie activity. I only regret that I never chose to partake in this hallowed Wednesday night tradition.

Brevard: Day Fifty-five

 Received this call on Googly (The Dean of the Day phone, duh. Pay attention!) this morning from Tom, our orchestra stage manager:

"Hi Ysabel. So...I have sort of a funny question for you. Do you have a car here? ...Because we have a bunch of hungover faculty members that need to get picked up from their residences."

Priceless.

Hey, did I mention that we are at the...FINAL COUNTDOOOOWN? Only six more days until I am finally homebound. Wheeee!

Whoa, look at these pictures that I meant to post weeks ago and am only now getting around to:

A couple of weeks ago, Dan indulged me on another one of my pleading-for-coffee-off-campus text messages ("Coffee. STAT.") and as we were parking across the street from the coffee shop, I saw this lady walking her shih tzu on the sidewalk (I promise they're there behind the tree about to walk into that store). So naturally I took a stalker picture and then trotted across the street to go pet her doggie. It was very sweet and started wagging its tail when I was walking up (and then my heart proceeded to explode) but it was not nearly as cute in the face as BB is. Very sweet doggie, though.

Speaking of that coffee shop, it has this mannequin displayed by the windows sitting at a table which is totally normal and NOT WEIRD AT ALL. If you will please not that she is accompanied by a sign that says, "Don't touch Lola please." I took this picture for my mom.

Choclava. Baklava + chocolate. OMG. My iPhone can't take macro shots, hence the lack of focus. But still. Whoa.

Oh, the joys of communal living. And you know what one of the joys of being an Assistant Dean of Students is? Going around every week to do cabin inspections and seeing things like this note taped to the refrigerator of one of your student cabins. Awesome.

So a couple of weeks ago I got tasked with taking a pipsqueak high school violinist to the nearby town of Hendersonville to get his instrument fixed. At first I was crabby about it. But then I realized that Hendersonville is a really cute little town with coffeeshops and boutiques and I was free to peruse said coffeeshops and boutiques for the better part of the morning instead of attending to the whiny needs of music students on campus. Anyway, so I was walking down the sidewalk after getting coffee and I passed by this kitschy store that HAD A PORCELAIN BB ON DISPLAY IN THEIR WINDOW AND MY HEART EXPLODED INSTANTLY. Please believe me when I tell you that I was this close to buying this just so that I could place it next to my bed and pet it everyday. And then bring it home with me so I could have two BBs at home. And NO I do not have a sickness.

Blech, and then I passed by this ice cream shop that had this travesty of a poster on their window. Sandra Lee? Really?? I will only approve of this if she makes a Kwanzaa Sundae. 

Haven't you always wondered what you would call the musical combination of disco and jazz? I know we all have. Well, the answer is "Dazz." DOY.

Do I wanna make love? With that mustache? NO.

So there's a college division violinist here who the Dean staff has affectionately nicknamed "Legs." Short for Leggy McLeggerson or Legs McGee. I don't even know her real name, but seriously, her legs are like twenty feet long. I like to joke that she has no actual torso, but that her legs lead straight to her neck. Anyway, I snuck this stalker picture of her as we dropped her off after a visit to the clinic when she had strep throat, but the photo really doesn't do Legs any justice. I just thought I'd share.

Red wine and chocolate. WHAAAT? I haven't bought a bottle yet because I've been too poor, but someday. Someday...

Brevard: Day Fifty-four

Picture this if you will: It is a cool and drizzly Sunday night. You have spent the better part of the day in various situations in which you end up feeling like an inept musician with the world's slowest fingers but, luckily, are able to spend the evening with friends enjoying sushi and Ketel One dirty martini for the first time in nearly two months. As the sun is setting, you stop by French Quarter to make sure that the scene does not resemble Sodom and Gommorah. Luckily it does not, seeing as how the vocalists have an off-campus gig and are nowhere in sight. So you think to yourself, "Wonderful. I have to get up early to meet a work study student so she can vacuum French Quarter before it opens, so I'll just delegate the supervision and locking up of the place to the Resident Assistant on duty and go to sleep early." You change into your pajamas, brush your teeth, wash your face, inspect your bed for any sneaky spiders snuggling under your comforter and tuck yourself in for a good night's rest. LITERALLY two minutes after you turn your lights off, your phone rings and it is the RA on duty in French Quarter. And you say to yourself, "@*#%!*."

Long story short, vocalists - especially drunken vocalists who want to celebrate after a good concert - are loud and obnoxious. But the thing is, they should be allowed to celebrate after a good concert and, unfortunately, the only place we allow those who are of age to "celebrate" (with adult beverages) on campus where they will be supervised is French Quarter, which also happens to be the only same enclosed space for those students who want to socialize with friends in a calm and subdued manner. Blergh. War of the Musicians. It's totally fun to be the umpire (NOT).

***

In other news: Hooray for Dean Pancake and LOST Night!

Is there a greater joy in life than exposing a former non-believer to the glory and wonder of LOST for the first time? And then witnessing the increased obsession at the end of each passing episode? Long story short, I have lent Erin the entirety of my LOST DVDs for the rest of the week. Happy face!

Also, this:

Erin: So, do they all grow huge beards?
Dan: No. Just Kate.
Ysabel: ...Down there.

ZING!

Brevard: Day Fifty-three

Today my quintet had a coaching with one of the bassoon faculty members and it was stupendous. Except for the part where he isolated the ONE measure in the entire first movement that I just absolutely cannot play - it involves playing a strange combination of precisely 24 notes in roughly 1.5 seconds - which I have been working really hard on just being able to come close to playing well, and his comment was, "Clarinet, play louder there. Just be more aggressive. If you need to fake some more, then fake some more." WAAAH. And then my heart broke into a million itty bitty pieces and I sobbed piles of salty tears on the inside. But I was over it by the end of the coaching.

Anyway, and then I went to the afternoon concert which happened to feature the winners of the Concerto Competition (students who compete and win the opportunity to solo with the orchestra) and I surprisingly did not want to throw myself off of a cliff at my inferiority. Mainly because I left at intermission and met up with some friends for sushi and drinks instead. And then Dan paid for my portion of the check because he is super cool.