A Day in the Life...

During the post-concert season break, my office imparts a summer hours policy during which only two people from the entire staff are required to work on Fridays. This policy is completely and utterly fabulous ... except for when it becomes your turn to work a Friday. And, damnit, today is my day!! Education and Outreach Director's, too. Not only do I now have to sit at my desk for 8 hours with nothing to do, there is also nobody else here with which to b*tch about the fact that there is nothing to do. Not only that, but I have to work next Friday as well. Speaking of which:

Last week:

Crazy Lunatic Supervisor (looking at calendar and being a busy-body): "We should have made you work the first Friday so you could at least work two Fridays before you go."

Me (filing papers into the Infernal Wall of File Cabinets): "...Uh, I am."

Crazy Lunatic Supervisor: "You are?"

Me: "Yeah, I switched with Sarah. I'm working the next two Fridays."

Crazy Lunatic Supervisor (looks at calendar again): *pause* "Oh, well thank you!! That is soo nice."

Me: "Ugh."


I especially am bemoaning the absence of Favorite Cool Co-worker, as we generally enjoy holding deep, intellectual discussions regarding politics, religion, current events, etc:

"Oh my god, did you see the Britney Spears interview with Matt Lauer last night?"

and also:

"I can't believe they voted off Elliot on American Idol. He's so much better than that McPhee girl. What a skank."

and my personal favorite:

"God, I can't stand Crazy Lunatic Supervisor. I wish she'd hurry up and fall over the nearby bridge and get eaten by a troll already."

***

At least a few of the more responsible and dedicated (i.e. non-hungover from last night's staff party...) members of the administrative staff generally feel obligated to come in for a few hours on Friday morning so I don't feel quite so lonesome. Also, I actually brought some work from home to keep me occupied during the day; There are so many important projects that I have had to push by the wayside and I at last now have the time to tackle these suckers: The 4400 Seasons 1 & 2 DVD, Batman Returns DVD and Felicity Season 2 DVD.

***

Hour 1

• Came in 10 minutes late. Damn that last hit of the snooze button! However, as nobody else was here when I arrived, it don't matter much now, does it?
• Distributed the mail.
• Ran into Financial Director aka Anglo-Version Of My Father in the hall. I guess he's here too.
• Ate some Triscuits.
• Checked my email. Inbox empty. Damn you all.
• Checked Myspace. Found out that my dream to form a group on Myspace entitled "Clarinetists who were or currently are working as barristas" is totally do-able. Added that to my list of projects for the day.
• Checked my office voicemail. Received 3 messages, all within 2 minutes of each other and all from one angry old lady flustered because she couldn't get a person on the phone yesterday afternoon. At 4:30pm. After we all had left early because nobody had anything to do and the phone hadn't rung in 4 hours. Oops.
• Ate more Triscuits.
• Finished the charge log.
• Education and Outreach Director walked in. Ah, my Friday companion! Too bad her office is way the hell down the other end of the building.
• Checked my blog for comments. Thank you to Joan and Greg!
• Finished the check log. And with that officially finished everything I have to do for the day.

Hour 2

• Thought about calling that woman back.
• Checked my linked blogs instead.
• Signed onto AOL Instant Messenger.
• Personnel Manager/2nd clarinetist/Music Librarian walked in. What a good worker! I wonder what that's like? Ah well, back to my blogs...
• Assistant Music Librarian walked in. Those librarians sure are dedicated! Don't they know the value of a day off?
• Checked my email again. Still no new messages.
• Saw that I had a new voicemail. It was from our Annual Funds Manager calling from her home, transferring a message to me that she received from Aforementioned Angry Old Lady.
• Ugh, called Angry Old Lady back. She instantly launched into her tirade about being "disappointed about not being able to reach a person on the phone" and that she "has been a symphony subscriber for many years" yadda yadda yadda. I immediately apologized profusely and said that there was an "emergency in the office" yesterday, shortly after 4pm. Yeah, a We Want to Get the Hell Up Out of Here and Drink Some Margaritas Emergency! Anyway, she instantly became apologetic (ha!) and I easily helped her out with her pressing request. As in, she wanted -- nay, needed -- to know what seat she is sitting in next season. The season which doesn't start until late September. Three months from now.
• Inbox empty.

Hour 3

• UPS Guy came in with a package. Just a Rolodex I had ordered as per our Development Director's request. Nothing exciting.
• Visited the Little Patron Services Coordinator's room. Morning BMs are fun. And strangely comforting. But don't tell Scott, because girls don't poop.
• Walked back to my desk to find my phone ringing. Of course. Just a gentleman looking for a possible cello teacher. He called me "hon." See, why couldn't Angry Old Lady be nice like him?
• Checked email. Inbox empty, but saw that I had not written back to Robin, who very kindly emailed me yesterday morning. He is currently living in Paris and having a fabulous time, as evidenced by his blog. Yay Robin!
• Holy crap, Bossman just walked in!! Good thing I was emailing Robin back and not, say, watching Batman Returns on my computer. He came over to chat about the party last night. "Oh man, Boss. You were soooo trashed! It was hilarious! And disturbing at the same time!" Not really, but that's what I wanted to say. He also gave me some letters to mail to some Board members.
• Letters to the Board members addressed and ready to go. Man, I'm good. Now what? I can't watch my DVDs until Bossman is out of the building!
• Oh man, I just realized that since today is Friday I don't have to worry about sleeping early tonight.
• Went to the kitchen to get my first of many cups of coffee. Huzzah!

Hour 4

• Inbox empty, damnit.
• It is now officially lunchtime. As in, The Hour In Which Ysabel Begins To Go Insane.
• Education and Outreach Director came by to tell me that she is leaving to go to the Youth Orchestra String Camp and will be gone for about 4 hours. Take me with you!!!
• Checked Myspace. Nothing.
• Began IM-ing with Sarah P. Hurray!
• Checked out the news on MSN.com. So Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are getting hitched this weekend in Australia, eh? Titillating! "Balenciaga, who designed Kidman's ethereal Oscar dress, is believed to have won the honor of outfitting her on the big day, although Chanel, which has paid her millions to shill for its brand, could still be in the running. An insider tattles to the Sydney Morning Herald that the wedding gown is white and has a 'Victorian-like high collar.' No word on what Keith will wear or whether he'll have his trademark golden-streaked tresses touched up before heading to the altar." No word on Keith's highlights?? What brand of journalism is this?!
• Inbox empty.
• Perused Myspace briefly before becoming bored.
• Inbox still empty.
• Personnel Manager/2nd clarinetist/Music Librarian just left. Lucky bastard!
• When in high holy hell is Bossman going to leave?! If I don't start having something to do soon (i.e. Watch DVDs) I'm going to implode.
• I guess I can go heat up my lunch and eat it. But eating at my desk would be so much more enjoyable if I could do it while watching the tempestuous and exhilarating romantic drama between Ben Covington and Felicity Porter in the Season 2 DVD box set! Hmph.
• Ooh, time for another bathroom break! Hurray for coffee!

Hour 5

• Conceded and went to the kitchen to heat up my lunch. Stupid Bossman. Couldn't he go home and nurse a hangover or something? Go away go away go away!!!
• So the Arts & Culture Alliance downstairs is apparently having summertime fun activities for children this summer and everyday we at the symphony office are blessed with the delightful sounds of many many youths of all ages shrieking, singing, acting, laughing, running, jumping, etc etc etc. with glee all the damn live long day long. It is expounded by the fact the our inner walls are open at the top, allowing for the un-filtered sounds to float magically into our office. If these kids don't shut up soon I'm going to go down there and become That Woman Who Glares Angrily and Yells at Pre-pubescents For Being Really Really Irritating.
• Finished lunch. Burger and a few chicken nuggets. I'm nothing if not a disgusting eater. And disgusting is how I feel at the moment. Bleeaaah.
• Assistant Music Librarian just left.
• Wow, actually received a phone call from a customer wanting to renew their subscription for next year's Pops Series. That's one productive thing I've done in the last...3 hours?
• I have been watching Bossman's actions in his office from the reflection on our office entrance door which I have a direct view of when sitting at my desk. It looks like he may be getting ready to head out. Oh please oh please oh please oh please...
• Damnit, stop lollygagging!

Hour 6

• Oog. Bossman just walked out the door. But not before saying, "I shall return." F*ck!
• The top layer of my lower lip has been peeling off for the last three days. Is that disgusting? I just spent the last 20 minutes peeling away more bits of lip skin. Hahaha. Are you grossed out? The more bored I get, the more disgusting my writing topics become.
• Hey, I just helped out my second symphony subscriber of the day. I'm on a roll, people!
• Perused Myspace for a while again. I like Myspace only because it is quite good for wasting time away, especially when you are stuck at a desk with nothing but a computer and a cup of coffee to entertain yourself. However, I hate myself just a little bit more after everytime I look at strange people's profiles. Like I need to shower or something. Oh wait, I feel the need to take a shower after I do ANYTHING.

Hour 7

• Or Penultimate Hour, if you will. The end is nigh!
• Financial Director aka Anglo-Version Of My Father just came up to my desk to ask when Education and Outreach Director was going to be back. After I told him that she would be back shortly after 4 this afternoon he said, "Well, I kind of want to go, but I don't want to leave you here by yourself." I said that I would be fine and that he should go ahead and leave. And then he asked, "I could lock the door on my way out if you want. I just hate for you to be the only one here. Are you sure you'll be alright?" Awww!! I knew he was my Anglo-Father! In any case, I convinced him to go as I reassured him, after all, that there are about a billion screaming humans downstairs, so I don't think I'm in any danger. The screaming children on the other hand...
• Ok, I am completely and utterly all by myself in the symphony office. What do I do? What do I do? Flip cartwheels down the corridor? I would, but I'm wearing a swishy skirt and stiletto sandals. Hmm...
• Just took a trip to the office kitchen. There are some bottles of beer in the office fridge. Don't ask my why. ...Ask me why I'm not currently tossing back a frosty cold one with my feet up on my desk watching Batman Returns on my computer. Because I keep having visions of doing just so and then Bossman unexpectedly returning to find me in that state! Agh!
• Hm, our Telefund Manager just walked in. I've never mentioned him before, but he's a weirdo. Ah well, my brief period of solitude was nice while it lasted. Can it be, I will have gone through the entire without watching any of the DVDs I brought in today?
• Tried to form that group on Myspace about clarinetists working as barristas, but it keeps telling me that the "Server Is Too Busy." Bah! Plan foiled!!
• What the hell, I have nothing else to do: So Telefund Manager is in general a nice enough guy. But he is The One in the office who will come to your desk, strike up a conversation about nothing, and continue to hold that conversation with you forever. Even if all you've contributed to the dialogue for twenty minutes straight is, "Oh yeah?" and "Uh huh." and "Cool." and "Ha, right." and "Yeah." while never taking your eyes off of the computer screen and typing furiously what he cannot help but assume is a Very Important Document That Must Be Taken Care of Right Now (i.e. my blog) in an effort to just make him shut up and go back to his office. Yesterday he came up to my desk to show me this desktop paper holder that I had ordered for him the other day. He showed me how nice it looked "Cool" and that you could use it as a white board on one side "Oh yeah?" and then flip it over and use it as a clipboard "Awesome" and there's even a thing on top where you can hold your pen "Uh huh" and you know how sometimes you order office supplies from the catalog and it's not as good as you think it's going to be "Ha, right" but this one is actually much nicer than he thought it was going to be "Cool" etc etc etc. Poor guy.
• What in the hell??!! Bossman just walked out of his office!! When in the world did he get back? And how in the hell did I not notice it when the office entrance is literally like six feet from my face?? Maybe I passed out a little while ago and just don't remember...

The Final Hour

• Chatted with Sarah P. about the gloriousness of eating:

Smeg: hey
ys: were you at lunch?
Smeg: yep
Smeg: went to panera
Smeg: (:
ys: mmm...wha'd you have?
Smeg: steak salad
ys: they used to have the best chicken caesar salad, but it's not as good anymore.
Smeg: ):
ys: yeah. but, man, that bagel the other day was so good
ys: probably because it was bread and i was nursing an angry tummy
Smeg: I heart bread
ys: me too. but i think my love of bread is the single greatest contributor to my ever- fattening face problem.
Smeg: it's so gooooood

• Oh man, I just looked out the window and the entire sky just became entirely covered by a massive storm cloud. And there are rumblings of thunder in the distance. Ooh, a strike of lightning!!
• ...And yet the children continue to run about and laugh and make my life a miserable hell downstairs.
• Ok, now there is officially a veritable thunderstorm downpour outside. Awesome. The two-block walk to my car in my white skirt and stiletto sandals will be great fun.
• Telefund Manager just told me that there is a line of thunderstorms waiting behind this one. And then he cautioned me to be careful on my drive home and that if I got caught in the middle of the next storm, I should just pull over and let it pass instead of continuing to drive. What a nice old guy. If only he weren't so irritating sometimes.
• Hey, why doesn't Bossman come out here and tell me to just go ahead and pack up so I can leave early and try to beat the next storm? That's what I would do if I had an underling.
• The first storm has passed, it sounds like. Education and Outreach Director just came in. She said that she heard on the radio that there is a tree down on my street. Crap. I asked if she heard where exactly. She said she thinks they said on Northshore near Westmoreland. F*ck!!
• Aaaand...Inbox empty.
• Ok, it's close enough. I'm outta here, folks. Have a good weekend!!