Because I know you all want to know more about me(Read: Because I feel obligated to update my blog but don't feel like putting forth much effort)

1. First Name? Ysabel

2. Were you named after anyone? I'm not sure. I think my mom told me once about an old relative or family friend who spelled her name like mine. But I may have made that up in my head, since I do that sometimes....

3. Do you wish on stars? No. I'm too cynical and cold-hearted for that now. But I'm sure I used to...

4. When did you last cry? A couple of weeks ago...

5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes. My penmanship is fabulous, if I do say so myself.

6. What is your birth date? May 25, 1980

7. What is your most embarrassing CD? Ugh, I have so many: There was "Chumbawumba," but thankfully I returned it the day after I bought it in a brief cloud of idiocy and exchanged it for "Save Ferris"; there's also Charlotte Church's first CD, a couple (yes, as in plural) of Shania Twain gems... I need to go shower now.

8. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Totally. I rock.

9. Do you have a journal? This blog, doy.

10. Do you use sarcasm a lot? With friends who I know would appreciate it, yes.

11. What are your nicknames? Ys, Y, and one that I can't mention because it would provide those not in the know with too much fodder. haHA!

12. Would you bungee jump? Totally.

13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Well, seeing as how I wear boots, heels and flip-flops 99.4% of the time, I'd say no.

14. Do you think that you are strong? My guns are a source of fear for many thugs who happen to cross my path on the street.

15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chip. Or Cherry Garcia. Or awesome cheese-flavored ice cream you can find in Filipino stores! Don't knock it 'til you try it, yo.

16. Shoe Size? 6-ish

17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm not going to be one of those girls, thanks.

18. Who do you miss most? My cat, Buddy.

19. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? Eh. If you want.

20. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Jeans and brown boots. The old tried-and-true.

21. What are you listening to right now? Seinfeld on TV.

22. Last thing you ate? A milky way bar and coke. Holidays! No guilt! Wheeee!

23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green. Or periwinkle, because I've always liked that color name.

24. Last fun thing you did? Hang out with old friends and my high-school music teacher this morning. Then shopping with my mummie.

25. What is the weather like right now? Rainy, 60-ish degrees. Ah, northern California winters...

26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Scott

27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Honestly? Their smell. I'm actually pretty bad at checking other guys out.

28. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Nobody sent this to me.

29. Favorite Drink? Water. Diet Coke. Starbucks double tall 1 1/2 pump Raspberry Mocha. Gin and Tonic. Gin martini.

30. Favorite Sport? Anything Olympics-related. I mean anything. Even archery. Also, NBA basketball (go Kings!).

31. Favorite Athlete? Lenny Krayzelburg. Aleksei Nemov. Peja Stojakovic.

32. Hair Color? Dark brown.

33. Eye Color? Daaaaaaaark brown.

34. Do you wear contacts? Hells yes.

35. Favorite Food? Anything cooked by my parents. Fried potatoes in various forms. Nachos. Those burgers they served you in elementary school.

36. Last Movie You Watched? Um, part of "Catch Me If You Can" on the plane here, until my laptop's battery ran out. Boo.

37. Favorite Day of the Year? Loot-mas! I mean, Christmas!

38. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Either, depending on the mood and the company.

39. Summer or winter? Winter.

40. Hugs OR Kisses? From the general public: hugs. For very specific people: kisses.

41. Your Favorite Dessert? Whatever's in front of my face. Preferably something in pie form.

42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? Wha?

43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? See above.

44. Living Arrangements? Sinfully co-habitating in Knoxville.

45. What Books Are You Reading? Not really reading anything at the moment. Was in the middle of The Color of Water by James McBride until I left for California.

46. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Nothing. I have a laptop. Because I'm cool and you wish you could be like me. (BTW, Re: my previous post: After much prodding, my younger brother has been working away at my precious sick laptop all day and it is considerably better now. No more annoying-as-@$$ pop-ups! And it is not as slow as it was a couple of days ago. Thank God. Stupid spyware!!!)

7. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? I don't remember. Must not have been terribly noteworthy.

48. Favorite Smells? Pine, especially during the holidays. Coffee. My man-cologne. Scott's man-cologne.

49. Favorite Sounds? Music that's not being blasted into my eardrums, of course. People I like laughing. The ocean. Cat purring. My niece giggling or saying anything.

51. What's the furthest you've been from home? Japan this summer, I guess.

52. Do you have a special talent? I am a virtual well-spring of talent.

*Have you ever*

1. Kissed your cousin: On the cheek, yes.

2. Ran away: Nope. Too much good food :)

3. Skipped school: *sigh* Yes. I even keep Spike the Blowfish in my car as a memento of my first time! But that's another story...

4. Broken someone's heart: Nope. I think. Oooh, wait. Maybe once.

5. Cried when someone died: Yes.

6. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: Hmm...not really. Oooh, wait. "Couldn't" or "shouldn't"?

7. Broken a bone: Nope.

8. Done something embarrassing: Numerous times! Hasn't everyone?

9. Lied: Yes. Again, hasn't everyone?

10. Cried in school: Yes.

*Who...*

1. Makes you laugh the most: Kat. Scott. Ben.

2. Makes you smile: Kat. Scott. Ben. Friends and family.

3. Can make you feel better no matter what: Friends and family.

4. Has A Crush on You: Who knows?

5. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Nope, I'm taken, thanks!

*Seven Years Ago*

1. How old were you? 18

2. What grade were you in? Senior in high school

3. Where did you go to school? Santa Rosa High

4. Where did you work? Blockbuster Video ... oy.

5. Where did you live? At home

6. How was your hair style? I think my hair was in a chin-length bob when I graduated.

7. Did you wear braces? Never!

8. Did you wear contacts? Yes

9. Did you wear glasses? Only when I had to

10. Who were your best friends? I stopped having best friends after Jodie and Heidi a few years previous. But the band nerds were my people.

11. Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? In my fantasy world: Matthew Broderick

12. Who was your celebrity crush? See above. Also: Peter Gallagher, Conan O'Brien, Kevin Spacey ... I have unusual tastes.

13. Who was your regular-person crush? Senior year? I honestly can't remember. ...John Grattan? Every girl in Santa Rosa had a crush on John Grattan.

14. What was your personality like? Quiet at first, friendly after some time. Moody. Stubborn. Same as now.

15. How many piercings did you have? I think I had 4 by that point.

16. How many tattoos did you have? None. But I always fantasized about getting one.

17. What was your favorite band/group? Weezer, Save Ferris, Aerosmith...

18. What was your biggest fear? Going off to college

19. Had you smoked a cigarette yet? No

20. Had you gotten drunk yet? No

21. Had you driven yet? Yes!

22. What kind of car did you drive? A Chevy Nova, baby!

23. Which of your pets were still alive? Buddy

24. Which members of your family were still alive? My maternal grandfather and my paternal grandmother

25. Which members of your family were not born yet? My niece, Kat. And numerous little cousins.

26. Favorite memories of that year? Band. Especially our trip to Vancouver.

The End

Xylophone?! WTF??!!

What Concert Band Instrument Are You? Xylophone You require a true master to get to know you. You are difficult and frustrating to deal with; but, when dealing with the right person, you are an incredible asset to any group.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Happy Christmas Eve! The madness of Christmas shopping is done (except for one... and that, thankfully, can wait until after tomorrow) and I am free to do nothing but sleep. Which I did in massive quantities yesterday. Like, I literally was not awake for more than probably two hours at any given time throughout the day before I collapsed in a random nap-attack.

It probably didn't help that my sister woke me up at 6:30 in the morning yesterday to do our final shopping run. This wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't met up with my old UOP friends Erin and Benwar the night before and had ooooodles of sangria and merriment (and then some more sangria...) in downtown Sac. That was a good time. The highlights of the evening were:

1) when E and I used our feminine wiles to get out of having to pay at a parking garage which we had driven into by accident. Don't ask.

2) recounting how funny and immature (read: idiotic) we were in undergrad.

3) when it took E about 10 tries to get a successful picture of me and Benwar for various (read: intoxicated) reasons.

***

In other news: there is now a naked 4-year old running around in this room and that's my cue to leave:

Kat: I'm naaaaked!!!

Me: Why?

Kat: Because I want to!!

There's just no arguing with that, folks.

Oh, the horror...

My precious laptop has been infected with a virus!!! Or spyware!!! Whatever, I don't care!!! AAAAUUGGHH!!! My computer genius brothers need to come home and fix him STAT!!!

I feel like my blackened heart has been ripped out from my chest.

...In other news: the annual madness of wrapping up presents at the last minute has commenced and I have run out of white ribbon. Hopefully my mom remembers to pick some up while she is out so I can finish this up before heading down to Sacramento.

ps. Augh! I just thought about my poor computer again and the evil virus that is destroying its precious insides! GET IT OUT!! GET IT OUT!! Waaaaaaaahh....

pps. Dear Santa,

In addition to the suitcase(s) filled with cold, hard cash that I anticipate receiving on Christmas Day (hahaha .....wait, who can laugh at a time like this??!!), I would also like a new laptop seeing as how some hellborn evil-doer has succeeded in possibly destroying my current baby. Please use your magical powers to make this happen in a timely manner. I would greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Ysabel

Back in the U.S.S.R.!!*

...And by U.S.S.R., I, of course, mean California.

To be precise, I am sitting here waiting by the baggage claim at SFO and will continue to do so for the next hour and a half because, once again, my cursed nemesis, American Airlines, has managed to screw me over by misplacing my checked luggage for the second time in a row, hence making me miss the airport shuttle that was supposed to take me back to Santa Rosa. *sigh* It's times like these you just can't help but march over in a blood red rage to the airline baggage counter and say to the attendant: "Damnit, if you weren't Filipino like me I would so yell at you right now!" Damn me and my instantaneous feelings of empathy for my people.

Interestingly enough, the problem this time around was not that the bag got lost or left behind in Chicago, but that it arrived here early. This would have been heavenly IF the baggage crew had realized the need for the luggage to be on the appropriate carousel, instead of sitting behind the baggage counter. Ugh. Definitely not the nightmare that was my fiasco this summer, but still annoying all the same. Especially since, if the bag had been on the carousel like it was supposed to, I would have been able to catch the 8:00 bus instead of wait around at the airport writing in my blog and watching all the weirdos that walk by.

Also: I bought a McDonald's side salad at Chicago O'Hare earlier and never got around to eating it (I ended up purchasing one of those damned $3 "snack boxes" on the flight...bah.) and I for some reason still have it with me. And by "for some reason," I mean, for the same reason that I will put an opened, half-full can of diet Coke in the fridge and then drink it days later, thereby grossing my boyfriend out completely: I think I may be a closeted food hoarder; And, also, I find a strange thrill in tempting fate by ingesting all sorts of possibly-dangerous food items and awaiting the outcome. Anyway, I mention this only because I am now contemplating eating it before the next bus comes. A salad can't go bad in 6 hours, can it? Hmmm, only one way to find out...



* This is a Beatles reference, for those of you poor, un-knowing, non-hipsters.

Da Bears!

Greetings from Chi-town!

This city is awesome. Scott is here for the annual Midwest Band and Orchestra conference (NERDS!!! hahaha) and I just tagged along for the sole intent to hang out with my old UOP friend, Dev. We actually got here on Tuesday evening after a 9+ hour car ride.

Our first two days here were ... interesting, seeing as how Scott and I were not best friends for the last little while. But now that that has been worked out we are well on our way to enjoying the next few days in Chicago with Dev & Christie (Best. Hostesses. EVER!), as well as their nerdly band director friends Vanessa and Ed. I actually first met Ed back in the day when I was a fresh and eager, wide-eyed young budding musician in the armpit of America (i.e. Stockton, CA). He is a percussion friend of Dev's and came to a couple parties of ours at UOP. ...He gave me my very first beer! Hahaha. What a distinction. And weirdly enough, Ed and Scott know each other from when they were both in the Blue Devils Drum Corps waaay back before Scott and I even met. Small world, eh? So I think Scott was very glad, not only to have another male figure in this apartment, but also to have somebody to have nerdish band discussions with. 'Cause it shore ain't gone be wit me! Ha!

Anyway, today was pretty much the first time I ventured out into the arctic tundra instead of hibernating inside D & C's warm toasty apartment all day. Well, except for last night when Scott and I joined the rest of the crew to go have drinks and merriment. But we only lasted a couple of hours, so I didn't count that. Scott and I went to the Shedd Aquarium in the museum campus (I think that's what it's called? It's also got the Field Museum and the Adler Planetarium.) The aquarium excursion was especially cool because:

a) Christie works as a teacher there and was able to get us free passes, and
b) she also stuck around to give us pretty much a personal tour of the place.

It was awesome! Yay Christie! On a side note, we also had lunch at the aquarium wherein I had my very first Chicago-style hotdog, which basically was a hotdog with every imaginable topping you could pile on top. Mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, peppers, pickles, relish, etc. etc. etc. It was glorious.

Then after the aquarium, Scott and I exited the place with the intention of finding a taxi cab to take back to the apartment. For some reason, though, a taxi cab never surfaced and we ended up walking and walking (and walking and walking...) until we realized we were not that far from the Hilton hotel (where the Nerd Conference is being held) so we just ended up walking the entire distance. Let's just say that by the end of it Scott's ears were just two flesh-colored blocks of ice and my face was so frozen it hurrrrt. Oh well. The Hilton was toasty warm and we walked around a bit and got some Star*ucks coffee (I can't escape it!!! Gaaaah!!!!) before finally catching a cab back to the apartment.

*** NOW WE GET TO THE PART WHERE MY PARENTS SHAKE THEIR HEADS IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND PONDER THE THOUGHT OF DISOWNING ME FOR MY FINANCIAL INEPTITUDE ***

So then, after a brief respite at the apartment, Scott and I went to meet a few of his band director friends from California for a nice dinner at Shula's (as in Don Shula -- some big football guy? Da Bears? I don't know... Whatevs.) in the Sheraton hotel. I was forewarned that it was going to be expensive. Despite the warning, however, I still chose to go because:

a) I wanted to actually meet some of these people that Scott has been talking about forever who I have never really had a chance to sit down with and get to know (plus it would give them a chance to sit down and get to know the wonderous beauty and splendor of .... me! Ha.)
b) I haven't really been spending that much money for food since we got here. Hurray for Dev and Christie's (and Vanessa's, actually!) cooking skillz! And
c) in my pathetic universe, anything over $30 is "expensive" so I figured I would be able to throw down, you know, $40 or so for a nice dinner.

...Let's just say that ten minutes into the dinner, one of the guys (who I happen to have known by name for years and years because he is the band director at the Santa Rosa Junior College in my hometown... What a small f*ing world!) ordered a $200 bottle of wine for the table, after which I proceeded to re-start my pulse and mentally plan the rest of my meals for the year around the McDonald's dollar menu. Soooo... at the end of the evening, I charged what is definitely the largest amount of money I have ever spent on a single meal on my poor, weeping bank card. After the shock (and PAIN!!) of it wore off, I realized that it was actually worth it, because it was a very nice meal -- expen$ive cae$ar $alad, expen$ive vegetable$, expen$ive ha$h brown$, expen$$$ive wine, expen$ive $teak -- and, more importantly, just very nice company. It was a good time.

Then to top the evening off, we came back to the apartment wherein Scott proceeded to pass out from his inability to do wine, and Dev, Ed and I had Folk Song Night!! Hahaha! This just involved us busting out the guitar, drums and keyboard and trying to cover every possible song we can imagine. We rocked. Extreme's "More than Words" and the Barenaked Ladies' "If I Had $1,000,000" were my personal favorites. Christie sat, playing Playstation 2 trying to block out the horrible horrible (and by "horrible," I mean "fantastically harmonious") sounds of our vocal and instrumental stylings. Good. Times.

Don't be jealous.

Whoops

So.... my last post where I earnestly promised to update every day? ....Yeah, I lied.

Scott and I are about to leave for Chicago, where I plan to freeze to death in a timely manner. I will update from there. Wheeee!

I'm aliiiiiive!

Sorry about the (not-so) brief absence, folks. Things in my head were sort of getting in the way of my producing my usual witty witticisms for the past several days. Ugh, life. Except now it's, "Whee, life!" because things are starting to work themselves out like I hoped they would. So my goal for now is to stop neglecting this blog -- because I know all of my trillions of faithful readers are lost and despondent without it -- and update once a day. Or at least every other day... Okay, definitely more than once a week.

*****

Yesterday I worked at Star*ucks from open to close. The hours weren't as hellishly long as it sounds considering we close at 2pm on Sundays. What was hellish, however, was the fact that from the time I got there at 6am to the time I left, we had literally about 30 customers pass throughout the entire day. Unfortunately, I didn't sleep very well the night before and could almost tangibly feel my brain slipping into a deeper and more extreme state of dead-ness with each passing hour. I think at one point I actually saw a tumbleweed roll by. Okay, not really, but the imagery is effective. The mocha, pumpkin spice latte and cup of coffee I had (not to mention the cinnamon twist and cup of caramel apple cider...) didn't really help things either. In fact, it probably made things worse somehow. Luckily I had another (non-Idiot) coworker with me -- who was in an equally sleep-deprived and extremely-bored state as I -- and we had a hell of a time passing the hours away by going through the Sunday paper, doing all the crossword puzzles and leafing through all the katrillion pages of Christmas shopping advertisements. The crosswords were especially entertaining considering our combined state of brain-cell inactivity:

Nice, non-Idiot coworker: "What's a five-letter word, ending with N, that also means 'sea'?"

Me: "'Sea?'"

Nice, non-Idiot coworker: "Yeah, S-E-A."

Me: "Four letters?"

Nice, non-Idiot coworker: "Five."

Me: ".....Ummm, 'ocean'!!"

Nice, non-Idiot coworker: "AAAAGH!!" walks away in shame...


Anyway, so that was that.

Also, Scott and I got a Christmas tree this past weekend. It makes me happy to no end! Ich liebe Christmas!

Back in black (Friday)

My total intent to steer clear of anything and everything related with commerce on this, the busiest shopping day of the year, was foiled when Ben called up to see if I wanted to accompany him to lunch and then to Borders and the mall. I don't know what the hell I was thinking by agreeing to go since: a) I hate malls, and b) I hate large crowds. But I couldn't say no since: a) he was looking for a birthday present for his mom and his mom is cool, b) I was craving a cup of coffee (big surprise) and figured I could get one while we were out, and c) my other option for the afternoon was to stay in and practice the devil stick.

Anyway, the highlight of the day was when we spent, I don't know, like fifteen minutes literally just walking around the food court looking for a free table to sit. Just imagine that scene in which you repeatedly spot a table about ten feet away and make a mad dash towards it only to be cut off by an evil and surprisingly stealthy family of four just two steps away from the table. If it weren't so frustrating it would have been hilarious. It was like something from a movie. A terrible, terrible movie. Probably starring Tom Arnold and Sinbad.

And the best part of all was when Ben and I finally hit the jackpot when a lady at a table we had been hovering over got up and told Ben, "We're done. You can have our table." And right as we were about to take the seats, this horrible, bitter old (but not old enough that would have warranted our giving her the seat out of courtesy) wench comes and sits her butt down on one of the chairs!!! Ben was like, "Um, excuse me. We have been standing here and the lady told me we could have this table." And the witch wouldn't give us our table!!! I think Ben tried to reason with her for a little bit whereas I just averted my eyes towards the opposite direction while mumbling to myself, "Eep! Confrontation!! Confrontation!! Must get away!!" Haha. Long story short, Ben and I finally got a table shortly after that incident and I hope that old troll gets a toilet full of coal for Christmas. Ugh, Happy Holidays indeed.

Also, we attempted to brave Old Navy but the line was like all the way to the back of the store. Insane.

On the upside, I got a CD of Bernstein conducting his symphonic works at Borders for $7.99! Sweet! It's really good (Los Angeles doing the Symphonic Dances from West Side Story, London doing Candide, etc.) except for Vienna doing Prelude, Fugue and Riffs. Squarest recording of that piece EVER. ...Ok, maybe not "ever." But Austrians playing jazz = AWKWARD.

Gobble gobble

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Today, may we all not celebrate the true historical events which inspired this holiday, and instead celebrate everyone and everything we are thankful for by obscenely gorging ourselves nearly to death with endless amounts of food and drink. This year, as I have for the last two years, I plan on doing exactly this at Ben's house in Kingston. It will be a good time. I plan on not walking or even staggering, but rolling out of his house after Thanksgiving dinner. Awesome!

So Dan's head can stop hurting...

Three actual verbal exchanges I had with another person (read: idiot) today:

1) Starbucks, 8am:

Me: "I really don't want to be at work right now."

Idiot coworker: "That's because you're a woman."

Me: "....... !!!!!! Excuse me??!!! Please tell me you did not just say that."

Idiot coworker: "It's true. It's scientific fact. Men like being at work more and women just want to stay at home."

Me: "First of all, I seriously doubt that you are THRILLED to be here right now. Second of all, I would love to be working somewhere that means something to me, not a place like this. And third of all, 'scientific fact'? That's hilarious, dude."

Idiot coworker: "Ok, take [seriously folks] that show 'Desperate Housewives' for example. Eva Longoria's husband is off at work all day while she stays at home and goes shopping. And that other woman with the blonde hair. She stays at home with her kids while the husband is off earning all the money."

Me (scanning area for nearest sharp utensil): "'Desperate Housewives,' huh? (sarcastically) That's just like real life, right?"

Idiot coworker: (not sarcastically) "Yeah."

Me: "Oh please. Like you can actually tell me that if you were rich enough that you didn't have to work somewhere you didn't want to, that you would still go?"

Idiot coworker: "Well, no. Obviously."

Me: "SoI guess it's not just a woman thing then, is it??"

Idiot coworker: "...Yeah, it is."

Me: "Oh my god. (turning to a few customers who have witnessed the last few seconds of this exchange) He may not live past this day."

****

2) Starbucks, 8:30am:

Me: "Do you seriously think that women who stay at home to take care of her family have it easy? 'Cause that's really sad for you."

Idiot coworker: "Are you kidding? Yeah, just let me kick back and do some laundry, wash the dishes, cook breakfast...."

Me: "I'm going to kick your balls here pretty soon. I'm not kidding."

****

Starbucks, 9am:

I had just accidentally short-changed a customer because I thought he gave me a $1 instead of a $5 bill. While I was giving the customer the correct change:

Idiot coworker: (trying to be funny) "Yes, that's our Oriental pick-pocket right there."

Me: (getting about 3 inches from his face) "It's not the fact that you called me a pick-pocket... It's that you used the word "Oriental" that was inappropriate."

Idiot coworker: "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant 'Asian' pick-pocket."

Me: (giving him an evil look) "You probably shouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day."

Idiot coworker: "Aww, come on..." (trying to nudge me on the shoulder)

Me: "Seriously. Do you want me to kill you? Because I will."

****

Home, 6pm:

Me: (on the phone with Papa John's Pizza) "Hi, I'd like to order a pizza for delivery. Can you tell me how much a medium with--"

Idiot pizza guy: "Um, we don't have medium, ma'am. We just have small, large, and extra large."

Me: "...Okay then, I guess I'll have a large. Can you tell me how much that would be with maybe two toppings?"

Idiot pizza guy: "Well, we have a special deal right now. You can get our Perfect Pan Pizza with five toppings for $12.99."

Me: "I guess I can do that. I'll have chicken, mushrooms, green peppers, onions and black olives."

Idiot pizza guy: "Ok, anything else?"

Me: "Yeah, I was wondering how much extra it would cost to have your white alfredo sauce on there instead of the marinara?"

Idiot pizza guy: "Umm, hold on... (two minutes later) Uh, we're actually not allowed to do that."

Me: "Really? Okay. Then I guess I'll have to change my order completely then. Is that okay?"

Idiot pizza guy: (*big emphatic sigh*) "...Ugh, I guess."

Me: (in my head) "Oh my god, I'm going to kill you. I really hope this wasn't too much of an inconvenience for you, especially considering I just placed my original order about 30 seconds ago which doubtfully gave you enough time to make the pizza between then and now. So why don't you just go ahead and press 'cancel' or 'void' on your computer screen and we can move on before I jump into this phone and kick the living crap out of you."

****

The end. I'm doing nothing for the rest of the evening but avoid all of humanity and watch TV on the couch until blissful sleep comes to put me out of the day's horribly, horribly entertaining misery.

Etc etc etc.

Whine whine whine, blah blah blah, always too tired (read: lazy) to update regularly lately, sorry sorry, whine whine, blah.

Here is a short rundown of what has happened in the past week:

1. I lost the near entirety of Scott's wardrobe at the laundromat!! Hence, prepared for the end of our relationship. Haha. He was amazingly nice about it, whereas I was freaking out.

2. Found out a day later that his clothes had been dried and kept in the laundromat office by the owners since I had left to go teach lessons and they were going home. Phew.

3. Have been left to man the Starbucks station all by myself during morning rush twice by same idiotic irresponsible co-worker who is unable to show up to work in a timely manner because of sad drinking problem. Ech. Con: Long line of many caffeine-dependent customers + mixed feelings of deep anger and sympathy for idiot coworker. Pro: More tips for me!!

4. Irrepresible everlasting cough has made its long-dreaded return. Blaaaah. Only 60 more days until I qualify for health insurance through Starbucks and can medicate myself with precious (read: EXPENSIVE!!!) asthma pills. Mmmmm....asthma pills. I do not heart suffering from consumption.

5. I think I'm taking a trip to Chicago for a few days with Scott! Wheee!! He will be off doing various nerdly band related activities at the Midwest conference while I hang out with old buddy old pal Dev! Have never been to Chicago, save a few stops at O'Hare (Least. Favorite. Airport. Ever.) during various flight connections. Am sehr excited. Awesome!!

6. I may have 2 more new students this week. This will bring my grand total to a whopping 11 students!! Yay!! Early retirement, here I come...

7. That's all for now. I'm hungry and need to go forage for food. I would like to be able to eat something without leaving the apartment. However, as the entire edible contents of the kitchen consist of a few eggs, one slice of white bread, an opened box of instant grits and most-likely expired sliced turkey and bacon, I think my prospects are pretty bleak. Oh, and some leftover Halloween candy. There are also two cans of tuna in the cupboard but I can't figure out how to work Scott's blasted can openener. Bah.

Sick and tired, Schmick and schmired. or It's the most wonderful tiiiime of the yeeeeaar!!!

Seeing as how I am sick and tired of writing about how I am always sick and tired, I've decided to refrain from doing so for the length of this update. You're welcome.

With that being said... Autumn is here, and I am ecstatic! The leaves here in Knoxville have turned their beautiful rainbow of reds, oranges and yellows and our shipments of gingerbread syrup and eggnog with which to make delicious festive holiday goodies have made their much-anticipated arrival at work. Huzzah! Despite the fact that -- when I am not busy making lattes, teaching little (in terms of number of years in existence, not size in comparison to me...) children how to make horrible noises on the devil stick, or comatose because of exhaustion, I am spending 98% of my time sneezing and hacking up a lung or two (Sorry...that smacked of "sick and tired." I apologize for letting that one sneak through.) -- I am basking in my joy over the imminent arrival of the holiday season. Double huzzah!

Is it sick that I love hearing the sounds of Christmas jingles delightfully tickling my eardrums everytime I step into each and every shopping establishment non-stop for weeks and weeks on end? I love it. Probably because I am not Jewish. Don't get me wrong. I am savvy enough to know that our society has turned what should essentially be a joyous and spiritually meaningful celebration into a shameless and bloodthirsty commercial event in which affection for one's loved ones are equated by the quantity (sometimes quality) of material goods presented to one another. And still I don't care. I lurve the holidays!


Why Ysabel loves the holidays:

1. Since 1998, it has meant to me that I get to go home and see my family.

2. I get to wear my red Tommy Hilfiger parka, which probably is the only winter coat I have ever owned that truly fits me perfectly and keeps me warm without making me feel too much like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. And, no, I am not ashamed to disclose that it is from the little boys section, size medium. Thank God it's not a small. That would be almost too pathetic.

3. Now that I am living in Tennessee, I can go to sleep with at least a teeny-tiny inkling of anticipation that perhaps it might snow during the night.* This never happened growing up in California. I remember it snowed (And I use that term very loosely. It may as well just have been someone with a very large head suffering from a bad case of dandruff. But anyway...) at home once when I was like 10, and people talked about it for years:


(Flashback most effective when done in an old gold-digging prospector voice) "Remember the blizzard of 1990?"

(Stroking chin) "Aaaah, yes. I'll never forget that fateful day."

"Why, if I remember correctly, I collected enough powder to almost make a snowball!"

"Unbelievable!"

"I reckon."


No joke.

....Okay, maybe the "I reckon" part was made up.

4. I get to go home and see my family. Which includes a possible quasi-annual (depending on if someone remembered to organize it or not...) family weekend trip to Lake Tahoe in which we gaggle of Asians may or may not attempt to participate in various life-threatening snow activities, but always involves a day spent with half of us huddled inside the warm confines of our rented cabin, playing card games, watching movies or running after several giggling wee ones, while the other half takes a trip to Reno to gamble the wet coldness away to their heart's content. Great fun.

5. The holidays mean doing lots of shopping (In my case, probably more of the "window" variety....) and finding joy in figuring out the perfect gift to give to each friend and family member. And myself. ...But mostly other people. Sometimes.

6. Food! And lots of it! And no guilt in shoveling vast quantities of it in your face!! Non-stop!!! Awesome!!!!

7. Also, the holidays used to mean a vacation from school. However, this is the first year since I was 5, I guess, that I am not having a typical school-sanctioned Winter Break. Weird. Now taking a vacation means losing money on a paycheck! Bah! Stupid growing up. Poo. But at least this means that Scott gets a vacation from school and I can begin to hatch a plan to get him to come home with me this winter. But I'm getting ahead of myself with that one. Look for that exciting topic in a future blog.

8. I get to go home and see my family. I am especially looking forward to seeing my 4-year old neice, Kat, again as she has recently just started being able to write her full name. My project this Christmas is to teach her how to write "Aunt Ys is the greatest aunt in the universe and is way cooler than Uncle Carlo" on a Christmas card by herself. And then have her give the card to my brother Carlo. HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah. Except maybe I shouldn't because my brothers give me money.

9. The holiday season means I get to top off each and every outfit with my favorite winter accesories of: a cute scarf (especially the Burberry -- Yeah, I said Burberry. Take it. -- one from my older brother and the one from South America I got from my younger brother this summer, which I have yet to wear), matching gloves, and a delicious steaming hot cup of crack -- I mean coffee. Mmm...using the blistery cold weather to validate an unfortunate addiction. Except that now that I've started working at you-know-where, I'm sure this year's caffeinated crack will be more fancy and expensive. Such as a tall double Raspberry-Peppermint mocha (My most recent personally made-up favorite drink: small cup containing three pumps of mocha syrup, two shots of espresso, one pump each of Raspberry and Peppermint syrup, steamed milk, then topped off with whipped cream, a drizzle of mocha and peppermint sprinkles... I think I've just soiled myself from sheer pleasure.)

10. And finally, the holidays mean I get to go home and see my family! Yayyy!!!

10 1/2. And I get presents. Triple huzzah!!!


* This, unfortunately, is not yet the case as it was a record 79 degrees yesterday. I mean, I haven't had to wear a sweater out at night in like a week! WTF?! Unacceptable!!

No lattes, cappuccinos or mochas thank you very much.

Ah, it's good to have a day off from slaving away in front of an espresso machine. Or making an ass of myself in front of a group of clarinet-wielding prepubescents. Sadly enough, however, it took me all of about 30 minutes after waking up (at 8:30am!! 4 1/2 hours past my tragic usual wake-up time!!) to begin feeling pangs of extreme-latte-craving and so -- only because I myself do not own an espresso machine -- I did have to make myself a (gasp!) regular old cup (or 2 or 3...) of coffee. Anyway, the whole point of this story is that the multiple days of 5:30am work days have made my brain completely unwilling to produce enough continuous thought to write very lengthy blog posts. Sorry. So, following, please find a succinct run-down of the events of the past several days... in HAIKU!!!

Starbucks I enjoy

Fuels and feeds my cravings

Free for me not you

Scott and I: one year!

Can't go out Always busy

But if not Ys sad

Got three new students

They are cool Don't smell like poo

Some students do Blech

Car fixed in two days

Yay because fear explosion

Hope not expensive

If you are not them:

Sarah, Greg, R.H., Heather

Sign my Guestbook now!!!

Day off!!

Today I have absolutely no obligations whatsoever. No ridiculously complicated and over-priced espresso-based concoction to make. No roomful of some-cool, some-difficult and some-smelly little children to teach clarinet to. Huzzah! So I have given my brain the day off as well and, instead of posting a thoughtful and well-crafted entry, I am posting a meme instead:

9 Layers

A meme to peel aways the layers of you.

LAYER ONE:

Name: Ysabel
Birth date: May 25, 1980
Birthplace: Manila
Current Location: Knoxville
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: dark brown/black
Height: 5' 1"
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: Gemini

LAYER TWO:

Your heritage: Filipino
The shoes you wore today: black flip-flops (no work shoes! Yay!)
Your weakness: shopping, bad tv, fast food, coffee, etc etc
Your fears: Not much, really. Seeing someone I care about hurt or injured. Failure.
Your perfect pizza: everything but anchovies
Goal you'd like to achieve: Have a career in something I find meaningful. Doesn't involve making coffee.

LAYER THREE:

Your most overused phrase on AIM: "Hahaha"
Your first waking thoughts: Already?
Your best physical feature: My third nipple. Ha. Just kidding.
Your most missed memory: Being a kid in Santa Rosa. Growing up with my siblings and my cat Buddy.

LAYER FOUR:

Pepsi or Coke: Ich, Diet Coke. Duh.
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or group dates: single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Don't really care.
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate!
Cappuccino or coffee: Yes.

LAYER FIVE:

Smoke: Nope.
Cuss: Unfortunately, occasionally. Especially when driving or practicing.
Sing: Yes. But with nobody within a 30-foot radius.
Take a shower everyday: Um, doy. 2 or 3 preferably.
Do you think you've been in love: Yes.
Want to go to college: For a third time??!!!! .....Actually, yes, eventually. *sigh*
Liked high school: Yep.
Want to get married: Someday.
Believe in yourself: 99.9% of the time
Get motion sickness: Rarely, but yes.
Think you're attractive: I'm not hideous, so yes.
Think you're a health freak: At times. But considering I have had fast food more than once in the last 24 hours, I feel like I should say no.
Get along with your parent(s): Now that I have moved past my surly teenage years, yes. (For the most part, anyway. Haha).
Like thunderstorms: Only if I am indoors. Especially if cuddled in bed or watching a movie and sipping a hot beverage.
Play an instrument: Again, doy.

LAYER SIX:

In the past month...
Drank alcohol: yes
Smoked: no
Done a drug: no
Made Out: yes. Wheeeee!!!
Gone on a date: I guess. Does having an occasional dinner with your boyfriend count?
Gone to the mall?: Yes. Unfortunately.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: I'm sure I am fully capable. But no.
Eaten sushi: Surprisingly, no! This needs to be remedied.
Been on stage: yes. With a gaggle of smelly middle school kids.
Been dumped: nope.
Gone skating: nope.
Made homemade cookies: nope. I prefer to watch other people do it on TV.
Gone skinny dipping: no
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen Anything: no

LAYER SEVEN:

Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: No. I feel like a prude now.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes. It's no fun.
Been caught "doing something": I'm not quite sure what this question is implying. So my answer would have to be .... maybe.
Been called a tease: Not to my knowledge.
Gotten beaten up: Yeah right! Hells no.
Shoplifted: nope.
Changed who you were to fit in: no.

LAYER EIGHT:

Age you hope to be married: Not now. As soon as I have a steady and meaningful job, I'll start thinking about it.
Numbers and Names of Children: I'd like 2-3 someday. Son: Benjamin. Daughter: Stella or Francesca.
Describe your Dream Wedding: Small. At night.
How do you want to die: Too morbid to think about. But not for a looooooong time.
Where you want to go to college: Whichever one can get me a job right after graduation. Oops, too late for that.
What do you want to be when you grow up: Musician. In the next life: Astronaut. In the next life after that: lottery winner who travels the world.
What country would you most like to visit: Greece.

LAYER NINE:
Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
Number of people I could trust with my life: All of my family, plus maybe 5 other people.
Number of CDs that I own: A lot. Many of them "borrowed" from my dad's CD collection.
Number of piercings: 5
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: At least thrice.
Number of scars on my body: One on my left knee from diving for a ball on gravel while playing baseball in junior high P.E.
Number of things in my past that I regret: 3? ...Probably more.

Quizzy!!

My sincere apologies to all my faithful readers who no doubt have been growing increasingly dark and empty inside because I haven't posted in several days. This past week I worked at Starbucks everyday from Tuesday through Sunday. Good news: lots of hours on the clock! Bad news: I have been unable to think about anything but making and drinking coffee all week. I'm not kidding. I literally fall asleep at 10 or 11pm thinking about how many espresso shots go into what latte or mocha, and wake up at 4am doing the same thing.

Anyway, this week should be better since I have managed to get this Wednesday as well as the whole weekend off! Wheeee!!!! I traded shifts with a guy, so I worked for him yesterday morning and he is going to take my shift this Sunday. Which is good because this weekend is not only Halloween weekend (although the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode doesn't air until the following weekend... Damn you, Major League Baseball!!!), but I hope to also find some time to celebrate my one-year anniversary with Scott at some point. I'm hoping he can take just a little bit of time off from all his stresses from school and work so we can have brunch or dinner together or something. And I can think about anything else besides lattes and Americanos and Cafe Mistos and Caramel Macchiatos etc etc etc.*

Anyway, today I have my weekly treacherous foray into the merciless jungle that is teaching middle-school clarinet. As I was telling one of my Starbucks co-workers a few days ago, one 8-hour shift at the coffeehouse is so much less stressful for me than the two clarinet classes I teach at the middle school on Mondays. Seriously. Those kids will be the death of me.

But in the meantime, for lack of anything interesting to write about, I have posted the following quiz results. I am most curious in finding out who exactly my "enemy" is considering he/she/it is supposedly cute, dirty and gross. Hmmm...... Oh, and career and money coming in last place? That explains a lot....


Interpretations below:

Chapter I.

Priorities in your life:

1. love
2. family
3. pride
4. career
5. money

Chapter II.

1. You would describe your own personality as being loyal and carefree.
2. You would describe your partner's personality as being intelligent and independent.
3. You would describe your enemy's personality as being sometimes cute but sometimes dirty and gross.
4. You interpret sex as being warm, comforting and delicious.
5. You would describe your own life as being big, expansive and mysterious, but also relaxing.

Chapter III.

1. Kat will never forget you.
2. You consider Kristina as your real friend.
3. You really love Scott.
4. Your soul-mate is probably Mama.
5. You will always remember Ben for the rest of your life.

http://www.saviodsilva.com/d/u/u5.htm



*ps. After 2 weeks on the job, I have figured out that my favorite Starbucks products are the Caramel Macchiato (vanilla syrup mixed with steamed milk with a bit of foam, topped with two shots of espresso and then drizzled with caramel sauce.... mmmmmm) and the Iced Lemon Pound Cake (Oh. My. God. Such tasty artery-clogging deliciousness.). If you feel like treating yourself sometime, I highly recommend going this route.

Mmm... results through scolding.

16 comments on my last post! HA HA!! It worked.... NOW SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!

Had my first 5:30 am shift this morning... Getting to work on time was quite the accomplishment considering:

a) I tossed and turned all night unable to sleep until 4 am.

b) My phone alarm didn't snooze when I told it to and I woke up at 4:53 am!!!

I don't know quite how it happened, but I managed to take a shower and drive across town to work without being late. Looking back on it, I must have managed to find and go through some sort of time-space continuum during my drive this morning because it usually takes me about 30 minutes to get from my apartment to work downtown. I'm still confounded by it...

That's all. I got home about 30 minutes ago and I'm not tired yet -- something tells me all the drink sampling may have had something to do with it -- but I am sure I will crash very hard, very soon. And when I do, it will be disastrous because then I won't be able to sleep tonight (again) and will have to go back to work tomorrow morning at 5:30 am without any sleep for the second time in a row. But at least when I do, I will be surrounded by endless quantities of caffeiney-goodness.

Do you need another scolding???

Dear faithful readers,

I know that you are out there and that you are reading my blog. I know this because I check my hit counter (found at the bottom right of the page) from time to time and, much to my delight, the number continues to grow on a regular basis. With this being said, WHY AREN'T YOU COMMENTING ON MY POSTS??!!* If I could only explain to you the sheer joy and sense of self-fulfillment I attain upon waking up every morning and finding that somebody has not only read my blog, but took the time to comment on it. This is sad, I know, but I don't care. It makes me so happy! Hahaha. Remember when I reprimended you all about this very same thing before? You don't want me to get all ugly like that again. Bitter Ys is no fun.

Ok, that's all.

Starbucks at the Hilton rocks. It's a fun job...for customer service. I showed up today (3rd day of training) to find my co-worker Neal frantically holding up shop by himself because our now-former manager did not show up for her final shift (today was supposed to be her last day [she's moving back to California, where she is originally from... lucky b****!!]). Needless to say, there were puddles of chai tea latte all over the floor and I had no choice but to jump on the register and do my best to act like I knew what the hell I was doing. Apparently there are 4 different wedding parties staying at the hotel this weekend as well as the skaters from the Disney on Ice tour which is in town for the week, so the morning rush was fairly crazy.

The good thing is, at the end of the day I pretty knew how to do most everything about the job -- without having to spend days training on it. I have the next 2 days off from Starbucks, however, so I'm sure most of today's knowledge will fall out of my brain and I will need to do much reviewing of various drink recipes. Oh, and the other good (i.e. AWESOME!!!) thing: in four hours I had a coffee, a chai tea latte, a passion fruit iced tea and a strawberries and creme frapuccino. And a cream cheese danish. Not to mention the chicken and dumplings with green beans and German chocolate cake I had for lunch from the Hilton kitchen. FOR FREE, PEOPLE!!! Hahaha... some people get off on health benefits and insurance coverage. Me, I focus on the free food.

Oy, I'm getting hungry now. Scott needs to come home so we can go get some gross fast food. Mmmmm....artery-clogging goodness.

Remember to comment on my posts, you anonymous lurkers!!!! As I explained in the first reprimand, you don't have to be registered on blogger to leave a comment. So no excuses! Also, I am putting up a guestbook (thanks for letting me steal the idea, Elizabeth!) so you should all sign that too.


Note to certain friends of mine: Keep in mind that my lovely parents and various assorted relatives read my blog (even though they don't leave comments.....grrrrrr.....hahaha), so please keep things nice and PG-13 if you could. Thanks :) Or not, whatever.

I mean whatevs.



* This does not pertain to both Sarahs, Robyn, Dan, Elizabeth, Ben, and my sister, who all leave comments with a respectable degree of regularity.

Barista sounds so much better than Coffee Wench

So I started training at Starbucks today. Wheee!! Good times. For a mega-corporation, I have to say that Starbucks sucks not too much. It sure beats Blockbuster Video (Grrr!! Still much pent-up high-school hatred being harbored deep inside my blackened soul...), that's for sure. Actually, the interesting thing about this particular job is that I officially work for Hilton Hotels, not Starbucks Corporation, so I feel slightly less like a corporate sell-out. Even though I'm fully aware that Hilton is a mega-company in itself. Whatever. The bottom line is I get free coffee & pastries from Starbucks and free lunch/dinner from the Hilton. Yes! Also, my manager tells me that my employee discount comes from Hilton Hotels, meaning that, while I cannot get a discount from any other Starbucks location, I do get highly-discounted room rates at any Hilton hotel (i.e. She said she was able to get a room in New York city for like $40 a night!! Holy crap!! This may have been too good to be true. But if it isn't: New Year's Eve in Times Square, anyone?? Hahaha...) All the people I'll be working with (I've met all but 2 or 3 already, I think) are pretty cool and they seem to be very good at training new employees. Thank God. Because the more training and time-to-settle-in Ysabel gets, the less likely she is to get into fisticuffs with customers. And that's always a good thing.

In any case, I spent the majority of the morning drinking free coffee so my brain can't really process thoughts and directions well enough to write a long-detailed account so I have to go now. Plus, I have to spend the next couple of hours peeing every 10 minutes. Agh! Only unfortunate byproduct of coffee-addiction!!! Aside from the not sleeping and becoming utterly dependent thing. Bah.

ps. Got another phone call from a mom interested in clarinet lessons for her son. Hurray for still keeping hope alive that I can make a living as a musician!!

SUCCESS!!!

I am now officially employed!!

I start work (training) at the Hilton-Starbucks in downtown Knoxville next Tuesday. Huzzah! There is much rejoicing to be done .... especially in the northern/Silicon Valley/San Luis Obispo areas of California where certain family members will no longer have to shell out money (eh, maybe not as often -- hahaha....) in my direction in order for my sorry arse to be able to eat. And pay bills. Yay!!!

More about the interview and everything later... In the meantime: HURRAYYYY!!!!!

ps. Moral of the story, boys and girls, is:

1 musician + 6 years of college = $7.00/hr. *sigh*

Life can be funny sometimes. And by funny, I mean tragic and unamusing. Ha.

Wonder of wonders! Miracle of miracles!!

Get ready for this, folks.....

I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW WITH THE HILTON-STARBUCKS TOMORROW MORNING!!!!

I am feeling extremely happy and thrilled about this and not at all pathetic about the level of happiness and thrill I am feeling due to my scoring a job interview for a crummy menial-labor job that any competent high-schooler could land in 2 seconds .... and it only took me all of about 6 weeks! So my new best friend Neil (only kidding) came through for me after all. Haha.

Anyway, I am so excited about this (possible income!!! yayyyy!!!) that I can do nothing now but pee and take a nap. Hurray! Wish me luck tomorrow. I hope the interview doesn't consist of too many personality-type questions. That could prove disastrous...

***

ps. Shortly after receiving the phone call about the Starbucks interview, I got a call from a mom interested in getting her middle school daughter some clarinet lessons. Double hurray! Wait, it gets better: her daughter has a friend who might also be interested in taking lessons. Triple hurrayyyy!! Ah, the leaves are turning at long last, my friends.... I fear I may wake up from this dream and find that I have been rejected from delivering pizzas or something.

Lord have mercy......

Oh. My. God.

Middle schoolers.

NUMEROUS QUANTITIES OF THEM.

PLAYING THE CLARINET.

***

AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

Must...conserve...arteries...

I just ate a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. It has been the most glorious moment of my day thus far because, instead of using the same wheat bread which I have been eating ever since they told us that white bread is the food of the devil, I threw caution to the wind and made my sandwich with two pieces of the delicious devil bread toasted to perfection. For those of you who don't use toast for their pb sandwiches, you don't know what you're missing. See, when you spread the peanut butter on the toast straight out of the toaster, the peanut butter becomes all warm and melty and tasty tasty taaasty....

Well, anyway, the sandwich did nothing but fuel my hunger even further and now I am fighting the urge to drive to the nearby McDonald's to purchase some evil-in-the-sense-that-it-tickles-your-taste-buds-while-slowly-killing-you-on-the-inside fast food. I mean, when you're on a tight budget, what can beat spending a measly $2 (plus tax. ugh.) for a double cheeseburger and medium fries? CURSE YOU, MCDONALD'S AND THE DAMNED INEXPENSIVE CONVENIENCE OF YOUR DOLLAR MENU!!!! Anyway, I really really shouldn't because I went there for lunch yesterday. And having that type of food two days in a row just can't be good for your innards.

Ugh, I could cook up some bacon, toast (Mmmmmm....white bread toast!!! Again!!!!) and eggs (because that is pretty literally the entire contents of the kitchen right now...), but as I explained to Sarah P. just moments ago, I hate making bacon and then smelling like bacon for the rest of the day. Although, as most of you know, I do have quite an unhealthy (or is it really that unhealthy?) obsession with showering, so that would provide me with an excuse to cleanse myself for the second time today.....

So close I can taste it....

Submitted my application to work at the Hilton Starbucks downtown this morning. Actually, I went in there yesterday and spoke to Neil, the guy working there, who gave me the heads up that the manager was going to be in this morning and that I should hand my application in then so she can meet me in person. So I met the manager today who seemed really excited about the prospect of me working there. Mainly because I told her I would be willing to work any shift .... even the one that starts at 5:30 in the f*ing morning (I didn't phrase it quite that way, of course). Anyway, she said the hiring process at that Starbucks is through the Hilton, so I have to wait for their HR department to look it over. Hopefully they won't get freaked out by the fact that I have a Masters degree (like all the other damned places I've applied at....) and I can start working soon. I am pretty hopeful about getting this job for a few reasons:

1) At the end of the application, there was a space for me to write any other comments and so I took the opportunity to explain there that, yes, while I do have a graduate college degree (No, despite any previous plans to just leave out the fact that I have a Masters in hopes of getting hired more easily, I just couldn't get myself to do it. It took quite a bit of work to get that f*ing diploma and I'll be damned if I have to hide it!!! ....Maybe after a couple more rejections...) , I am still living the existence of a poor, decrepit clarinetist and would really appreciate the opportunity to work there. Also, I am a hard worker/employee and can have a good personality if I have to (especially if I'm getting paid to have one...haha).

2) I have flexible hours. Very flexible hours.

3) This Neil character was flirting shamelessly (and none-too-subtly, I might add) while I was chatting him up about the job. In addition to the free chai latte I scored, I am hoping that he will put a good word in for me with the manager as well. (Have I mentioned how effective being desperate for a job is at completely obliterating any semblance of one's previously well-intact dignity?)

So, we'll see how this particular job prospect pans out. ......They better hire me!!! AAAUUGGHHH!!!!!!

Wheeee!

Happy Birthday to my mommie dearest! Yayyyy!!!

In celebration, let me serenade her with this:

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Bearer-of-the-golden-womb-from-which-this-magnificent-creature-sprang-fooooooorrrrth
Happy Birthday toooo yooouuuu!!!

Hahahaha.

She is the greatest mother in the whole universe -- and I say this in great part because she has not once, in my 25 years of existence, thought of disowning me (at least, not in my knowledge anyway) -- even through my countless requests for *ahem* financial assistance (I call them "loans"; she laughs and plays along...) and, relatedly, my decision to become a musician. Although, in all fairness, she does not need to bemoan my decision to choose music as my lifeblood as I am proving to be quite competent in giving myself enough grief for that personal choice. In fact, if it were possible, I think I would go ahead and disown myself. Only kidding, folks.

In other news, I had my first day working with the clarinet kiddies over at Halls Middle School today. It was quite enjoyable, surprisingly enough. I still struggle every now and then with remembering that I am talking to really young children, some of whom have only been playing the clarinet for about a month, but I'm sure (I hope) I will get used to that at some point. It really is a shock going from teaching college students to 6th and 7th graders. The level of hyperactivity and potential chaos buzzing in a room full of these kids is quite...something. Let's just say that if I can get through these first several weeks without hurling one of the more attention-span-deficient children out of a nearby window, I will be very pleased with myself.

The best part? Being taller than (or at least the same height as.....ugh) most of the kids. Hurray! It was also funny being told by a little 7th grader that a) she liked my jeans, and b) it was nice to see a teacher that actually had a "sense of style." Ha! I also had my first private lesson with an 8th grader named Farrah who is blind. She is an awesome kid who you can tell has a wonderful attitude, so I'm excited about working with her. As long as she can get through these first few weeks of me getting into my teaching groove and bumbling my way through the first few lessons, I think we will work out wonderfully. So huzzah to that.

So I have something relevant to do with myself on Mondays now. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah!! Tomorrow I am going to drop by the Starbucks in the Hilton downtown to ask (plead, beg, etc.) for a job. As I was telling my mother earlier, this particular Starbucks seems to be the best of my options in town as a) it offers the least likely chance of me running into (and having to serve...blah) an ex-colleague or professor, and b) with the Hilton being one of the swankier hotels in town, I can use my charm (I have some in me somewhere, I swear...) to milk some good tips out of the inevitable wealthy businessman. ...Ah, nothing like unemployment to obliterate one's shame and/or dignity.

***

ps. The West Wing now airs on Sundays at 8pm, which has been the much-celebrated Simpsons time-slot for, like, ever. And because Scott is a West Wing nazi, this means that I have not been able to watch any of the new Simpsons' so far this season. Unacceptable, I say!!! Stupid West Wing. Anyway, how have the Simpsons eps been so far? At least I have my midnight reruns during the week. *sigh*

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.....

Good news (for me as well as my faithful blog readers)!! My recent foray into the dark abyss of depression spurred on by graduation + unemployment + loneliness + lack of musical/creative/etc. outlet + inability to fuel my Target obsession (caused by said unemployment) is nearing the end of its span. See, here's the thing with me: when I get upset about something, it's best to just let me be upset for a while. Let me pout and sulk and be otherwise completely unpleasant to be around (the majority of my penitence goes to Scott, at whom I am very pleased - and surprised - for not breaking up with me after my umpteenth day of suddenly bursting into tears with no foreseeable warning...), and one day I will wake up and just be done with it. Like right now! Cheers!

I would like to think that I am feeling better now because things are slooowly but surely looking up on the music/job front. Not only do I now have a gig lined up with the Halls Middle School band doing a few sectional rehearsals with their clarinets every week, but one of these students will also be studying privately with me starting next Monday. Huzzah! A trillion thanks to Tiffany for lining me up with this. Did you ever know that you're my heeeroooooo.... Hahaha. And thanks to Scott, I was able to tag along to the local high school marching band exhibition last night where I spoke to a couple of other area band directors who, apparently, are very interested in having me teach their clarinets privately. Huzzah again! The challenge now is to keep these band directors on top of this prospect and - most importantly - convince the parents to fork over the dough for clarinet lessons. Ha. So I have fixed up a handy-dandy (or fancy-schmancy... I couldn't decide which fun rhyming phrase to use) packet to mail out to local band programs to shamelessly promote myself as the World's Best clarinet teacher. It comes complete with my cool little business cards and a fancy-schmancy (ah! there it is!) personal flier boasting my numerous qualifications (basically summing up to: 'Look, I got myself I damned Master's degree in music performance.... now HIRE ME!!'). I am so proud of my Microsoft Paint/Word-enabled creations that - if I knew how to scan things onto this computer - I would scan them and post them on this blog. But I don't. Oh well.

So all that aside, here's the more likely reason why I'm coming out of my funk: Simpsons re-runs now air every midnight here instead of 5pm. This means that every night before I go to bed, I can watch the Simpsons followed right after by Conan O'Brien. Brilliant! Best. hour. and. a. half. of. television. viewing. before. bedtime... EVER!!! Speaking of which, it is now almost time for Simpsons. Gotta go, folks!

Same old, same old...

I spent the majority of the day yesterday a complete basketcase in regards to my complete lack of direction/money/job in life. What's new, eh? Fortunately I was able to clear my head a little bit by getting out of the apartment and having dinner with Ben, Josh B. and April at Applebees. By the way, in hindsight I realized that I had ordered a queso and chips appetizer for us to share, but it wasn't on my check. I wonder if it ended up on somebody else's check and they were just too polite or nice or clueless to say anything. I hope it was just left out of order altogether because then I won't feel bad. I worry about these things.

So anyway, I got out of bed this morning fully determined to get over my customer service/non-music job issues, tackle the classifieds and get employed at any cost. ...It was a futile attempt, however, since, with every job listing that I analyzed as a possibility, my overactive imagination took over and I kept visualizing myself working said waitressing or receptionist job and being in various states of life-hatred. I was going to drop by Baker Peters (a jazz club/restaurant here) because they were hiring hostesses and servers a while ago, but they apparently no longer have any openings. (See, I was able to reconcile working that job in my head because at least the place where I would be serving food was related to music.) Honestly, if I think about, I would rather work just delivering pizzas because the level-of-pay to customer-interaction ratio is relatively low. But the thought of the door opening and a former professor or student seeing me delivering their pizza is enough to make me pee in my pants. Plus, I don't want to deface my precious Lucky by placing a Papa John's or Pizza Hut sign on his roof. That is just too much. Am I being unreasonable? I probably am. That's the problem with having too much pride, I guess. I'm finding it's not always a good thing...

***

In other news, I have recently succumbed to the evil temptation and joined Facebook. For those not in the know, Facebook is this laaaaame online network at colleges where students post info about themselves, put people on their "friends" list, etc. etc. I guess it's designed to help you get to know people at your school or something. I thought (and still do) that it's the lamest thing ever -- especially now that I'm an alumni -- , but I've been so bored lately (as you all know) and the computer is my only friend during the majority of the week, so I did it. Although I may have an overloaded sense of pride, I apparently have no shame. Go figure.

In any case, most people pride themselves on how many "friends" they have on their list. Like, "Ooh, I have 367 friends on Facebook!" Whatever. I have 11, thank you. But at least I've actually spoken to all of them. So there. (In confession, this is largely because I refuse to tell people that I am actually on Facebook now and only put people on my list if they find me. This is due in part to residual feelings of resistance to Facebook, and probably also because I am lazy.)

Have I found my official catchphrase?

Ha ha ha!!!

I love Gwen

Gwen Stefani rocks. And so does this video:

I've taken the video out of this blog entry because I figured everyone would have seen it by now and my point will have been taken. Sorry if you didn't get a chance to see it. It rocks. Go watch TRL or something.

An all-time low.....

I have been rejected by the Jewelry Television Network.

***

Let us all have a moment of silence for my dignity, as it has now totally shriveled into non-existence.

This may or may not be worse than the time I was rejected during my freshman year of college for re-hire by Blockbuster Video -- for whom I worked all through-out high school -- because I failed to pass their computer questionnaire. C'mon guys, I mean 30 pages of psychological/personality questions? I can fake a good personality for 10, maybe 15, pages. But any more than that is out of the question.

Imagine this hypothetical situation and respond whether you agree or disagree:

Question number 274: At work, a customer you are helping is being rude and offensive. Your response is to maintain a professional attitude and continue to behave pleasantly as though you have no soul nor any standards for social behavior.

Disagree.

Disagree disagree disagree forever and ever.


And I offer no aplogies. I have standards.

Anyway, here's the thing: the Jew TV job only involved a 5-minute phone interview. I undoubtedly displayed my prowess with the English language during said interview. And I was polite/personable enough. What could it possibly have been, then?

My attainment of - not only a high-school diploma - but two f*ing college degrees may have been just too much for them to handle. Or perhaps one of their Jewelry TV trolls happened upon my second-to-last blog entry and feared my potential for fisticuffs with old ladies. Whatever. I'm sure this is for the best in the long run. Because, truly, I would have lasted 4 hours into my first day in that job before I would have thrown myself out the nearest window. But it was fun entertaining the thought of my working that job in any case. And the prospect of finally earning money again was good while it lasted. But the fact remains that I need a job. And fast! Gah!

In related news, I had my clarinet masterclass (aka. none-too-subtly veiled attempt to recruit private students for my studio...) at Halls High School earlier today. It was a good time. It's been a while since I've taught beginner/intermediate level students - let alone a group of them - so it took me about 20 minutes to warm up and settle into a groove. Before too long, though, I felt them starting to warm up to me and vice-versa. We talked mostly about breathing and tone development through long-tone exercises, and also touched upon embouchure and finger/hand position. It was hard since I had only an hour to work with them and I had several things I wanted to cover. By the way, my personal highlight of the masterclass was at the end of the hour when I asked if anybody had any clarinet-related questions for me, and a little red-headed kid in the back asked, "Can you play Star Wars?" Little boy, if you only knew.... Oh, and also after the masterclass ended and the students had left the auditorium, two maintenance guys came up to me and were like, "Are you a student here?" Hahaha. Boy, that never gets old, let me tell you.

Anyway, so we'll see if any of the kids liked/was impressed by me enough to call me up for lessons. And they better, if they know what's good for them.......

***

In short, my little facade about being good-natured about this penniless/starving artist's life I have going on must apparently continue for at least a little while longer. Blah. This is getting very old very fast. My next two job prospects are:

a) Coordinator/receptionist for a beauty salon

pro: free haircuts!
con: intermingling with catty beauty salon folk

b) Nanny for newborn and toddler

pro: $300 a week! I'd be rolling in riches with that kind of wage!
con: I think you can all imagine... (hint: it rhymes with goopy viapers)


*Sigh* And so the ongoing quest for employment continues............

A lush, eh?

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of:

You Are a Martini

There's no other way to say it: you're a total lush. You hold your liquor well, and you hold a lot of it!

What Mixed Drink Are You?

I do like a good martini every now and then. But I prefer to identify with the old-school, classic aspect of the drink. "You're a total lush." HA! The most dangerous drink I've had in the last month is coffee. And lots of it.


...Oh wait. I did have a margarita at dinner with Ben this evening. But I couldn't even finish it since:

a) it was quite strong.

b) I inhaled the meal so quickly that the entire cavity of my stomach had been filled with delicious Mexican goodness before I could finish the beverage.

Mmmm.... margarita.

I knew there was a reason I ended up a musician!!

Ok, so yesterday I had a job interview while soaking wet and wearing nothing but a towel.

HA!

Let me clarify. When I returned to Tennessee from my glorious trip to the homeland, I sent in an application to work customer service at this company in Knoxville called the Jewelry Television Network. Basically, the job entails answering phone calls from rich old ladies who have nothing better to do with their money but buy ridiculously gaudy pieces of jewelry 24 hours a day from the comfort of their own home. The prospect of me working this job is humorous and/or tragic for a variety of reasons:

First of all, I hate hate hate working customer service. It's not that I think I'm above it in any way. In fact, I respect tremendously people that not only can do it, but do a respectable job at it. I've worked three or four different customer service jobs myself. And here is what I have learned from working said jobs: I am bad at it. Not just bad, but nightmarishly bad. Although those who know me may think I have a sunny enough disposition (Greg, discount those first 5 or 6 years you were dating my sister and I had a perpetual scowl on my face...), the one thing I am frankly incapable of doing is behaving pleasantly when I. don't. want. to. Like when you're working and a customer is rude to you. For no reason. Now, a better person would be able to let it go and just continue to be as polite as was required minimally by common workplace decorum until that particular exchange was completed. I, however, am not one of those people and am completely unable to mask my feelings of utter disapproval and unappreciation for the lack of mutual respect and good manners shown on their part. I instantly become filled with a sense of duty, not just for myself, but for the whole community of customer service workers - I'll even go as far as to say, all of humanity - to let that person know that it is not okay to mess with me. I have provided for you here a dramatic re-enactment:


Actual past customer service run-in:

Me (17 years old, working for large video rental corporation): "Sir, this computer shows that you have a $(ridiculously low amount of money) balance on your account."

Bitter and petty evil customer with horns growing out of his skull: "That's a mistake. Take it off."

Me: "I'm sorry, I unfortunately don't have the authority to do that. Our system does show that ______ movie was returned late on ________ day."

Evil customer: "Um, no it doesn't."

Me: "Yes it does, sir. The screen is right in front of my face."

Evil customer: "WHAT, ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR??!! You're just an idiot who works in a video store. Now take the late fee off because I'm not paying it."

Me: "Are you seriously going to get in an argument with me over (ridiculously low amount of money) ?? I'm not lying. I don't care enough about this to lie about it! I'm telling you, this shows that you have a balance. Now, would you like to talk with my manager?"

Evil customer (storming out of store): "I'm going to call your manager and tell them that they have a liar working here."

Me (amused): "Alright, dude..."



Do you see what I mean? I'm completely inept in this situation.

Oh, and other reasons why this Jew TV job will most likely prove to be a disaster? Not only do I hate talking on the phone, but I also have a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder when it comes to work. Frankly, the mere thought of sitting for 9 hours at a time, performing the same menial task over and over (i.e. answering phone calls...) day in and day out is enough to make me break out in hives. I mean, it wouldn't be out of the question to find out that I tend to start arguments with customers, not just as a matter of principle, but because I'm bored and it's something to do. So in my reckoning, my avoidance of the customer service realm is really my generous way of doing any potential retail employee of mine a favor and saving them from my inevitable driving-away of any customers. Right?

Ugh. But at this particular juncture in my life, I need to suck it up and work any job I can get because:

a) My level of patheticness has sunk so low that in the past week I had to call on my younger, computer-engineering brother more than once to help me out with some bills this month. If any amount of showering could cleanse me of my feelings of inadequacy and guilt about having to do this, I would be in the bathroom right now, scrubbing my shame away to my heart's content. However, as I have found this method to be ineffective, I will have to resort to working a nightmare job in order to pay him back, as well as give him a bonus gift as a token of my gratitude - namely, several suitcases full of Goo Goo Clusters.

b) Also, it is about damn time that I entered the adult portion of my life, completely and wholly, not just partially or temporarily, and finally start supporting myself once and for all - amidst much kicking and screaming, no doubt - without having to call on various wonderful and supportive and patient and understanding etc. etc. family members for help.


So anyway, back to my job interview.... I had been playing a lovely game of phone tag with my contact at the Jew TV Network for several days. Immediately after stepping out of the shower yesterday, I decided to try calling again for the 5th or 6th time that morning and actually got through! I was then told that, since I had applied for a call center position, I would have to do a phone interview. So I did it right then. Pretty easy and harmless, of course. The highlight of the interview, by the way, was when the interviewer was reviewing my application with me and this happened:

Interviewer: "Alright, and do you have a high school diplom-- .........oh."


Ahhahah ahaha ha haha. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry in devastation.

The good thing is, if this job really is a nightmare (and who knows, maybe it won't be....), I can quit the job as soon as I can get enough private students to make a living. Until then, if I do get hired by the Jew TV Network, I will be working 5 days a week (2 of which have to be Saturday and Sunday) from 3-11pm everyday. Try to imagine how much I will be loathing life at that point. But, as has been the musician's mantra since time immemorial: "Hey, as long as it pays the bills..."

*sigh*

Well, at least I'll have my teaching gig at Halls High School to help me keep some modicum of self-respect. In the meantime, I will try to get in as few fights with rich little old ladies as possible. But I offer no promises.

Bush lovers: keep out!

I got this in an email from a former teacher. I am posting this on my blog for three distinct reasons:

1. I thought it was about time that I posted something of thought-provoking content in this blog -- even though I know all you all really want are more of my awesome self-portraits courtesy of Microsoft Paint. Don't worry, I'll go back to my usual format soon.

2. While I had originally wanted to just forward this to certain people, I couldn't figure out how to enter the addresses from my address book when forwarding an email....

3. I am currently undergoing a major life crisis bought about by my recently recieving a Master's degree in music performance and not knowing what the f* to do with my life. It is loads of fun having random emotional meltdowns and I couldn't bear to take even a few moments break from my current self-pitying state, so I'm posting some other (more emotionally stable and clear-headed) individual's thoughts instead.


The Two Americas

By Marjorie Cohn

Perspective Saturday 03 September 2005

Last September, a Category 5 hurricane battered the small island of Cuba with 160-mile-per-hour winds. More than 1.5 million Cubans were evacuated to higher ground ahead of the storm. Although the hurricane destroyed 20,000 houses, no one died.

What is Cuban President Fidel Castro's secret? According to Dr. Nelson Valdes, a sociology professor at the University of New Mexico, and specialist in Latin America, "the whole civil defense is embedded in the community to begin with. People know ahead of time where they are to go."

"Cuba's leaders go on TV and take charge," said Valdes. Contrast this with George W. Bush's reaction to Hurricane Katrina. The day after Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, Bush was playing golf. He waited three days to make a TV appearance and five days before visiting the disaster site. In a scathing editorial on Thursday, the New York Times said, "nothing about the president's demeanor yesterday - which seemed casual to the point of carelessness - suggested that he understood the depth of the current crisis."

"Merely sticking people in a stadium is unthinkable" in Cuba, Valdes said. "Shelters all have medical personnel, from the neighborhood. They have family doctors in Cuba, who evacuate together with the neighborhood, and already know, for example, who needs insulin."

They also evacuate animals and veterinarians, TV sets and refrigerators, "so that people aren't reluctant to leave because people might steal their stuff," Valdes observed.

After Hurricane Ivan, the United Nations International Secretariat for Disaster Reduction cited Cuba as a model for hurricane preparation. ISDR director Salvano Briceno said, "The Cuban way could easily be applied to other countries with similar economic conditions and even in countries with greater resources that do not manage to protect their population as well as Cuba does."

Our federal and local governments had more than ample warning that hurricanes, which are growing in intensity thanks to global warming, could destroy New Orleans. Yet, instead of heeding those warnings, Bush set about to prevent states from controlling global warming, weaken FEMA, and cut the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for levee construction in New Orleans by $71.2 million, a 44 percent reduction.

Bush sent nearly half our National Guard troops and high-water Humvees to fight in an unnecessary war in Iraq. Walter Maestri, emergency management chief for Jefferson Paris in New Orleans, noted a year ago, "It appears that the money has been moved in the president's budget to handle homeland security and the war in Iraq."

An Editor and Publisher article Wednesday said the Army Corps of Engineers "never tried to hide the fact that the spending pressures of the war in Iraq, as well as homeland security - coming at the same time as federal tax cuts - was the reason for the strain," which caused a slowdown of work on flood control and sinking levees.

"This storm was much greater than protection we were authorized to provide," said Alfred C. Naomi, a senior project manager in the New Orleans district of the corps.

Unlike in Cuba, where homeland security means keeping the country secure from deadly natural disasters as well as foreign invasions, Bush has failed to keep our people safe. "On a fundamental level," Paul Krugman wrote in yesterday's New York Times, "our current leaders just aren't serious about some of the essential functions of government. They like waging war, but they don't like providing security, rescuing those in need or spending on prevention measures. And they never, ever ask for shared sacrifice."

During the 2004 election campaign, vice presidential candidate John Edwards spoke of "the two Americas." It seems unfathomable how people can shoot at rescue workers. Yet, after the beating of Rodney King aired on televisions across the country, poor, desperate, hungry people in Watts took over their neighborhoods, burning and looting. Their anger, which had seethed below the surface for so long, erupted. That's what's happening now in New Orleans. And we, mostly white, people of privilege, rarely catch a glimpse of this other America.

"I think a lot of it has to do with race and class," said Rev. Calvin O. Butts III, pastor of the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem. "The people affected were largely poor people. Poor, black people."

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin reached a breaking point Thursday night. "You mean to tell me that a place where you probably have thousands of people that have died and thousands more that are dying every day, that we can't figure out a way to authorize the resources we need? Come on, man!"

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff had boasted earlier in the day that FEMA and other federal agencies have done a "magnificent job" under the circumstances.

But, said, Nagin, "They're feeding the people a line of bull, and they are spinning and people are dying. Get off your asses and let's do something!"

When asked about the looting, the mayor said that except for a few "knuckleheads," it is the result of desperate people trying to find food and water to survive.

Nagin blamed the outbreak of violence and crime on drug addicts who have been cut off from their drug supplies, wandering the city, "looking to take the edge off their jones." When Hurricane Ivan hit Cuba, no curfew was imposed; yet, no looting or violence took place. Everyone was in the same boat.

Fidel Castro, who has compared his government's preparations for Hurricane Ivan to the island's long-standing preparations for an invasion by the United States, said, "We've been preparing for this for 45 years."

On Thursday, Cuba's National Assembly sent a message of solidarity to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. It says the Cuban people have followed closely the news of the hurricane damage in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama, and the news has caused pain and sadness. The message notes that the hardest hit are African-Americans, Latino workers, and the poor, who still wait to be rescued and taken to secure places, and who have suffered the most fatalities and homelessness. The message concludes by saying that the entire world must feel this tragedy as its own.

Marjorie Cohn, a contributing editor to t r u t h o u t, is a professor at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, executive vice president of the National Lawyers Guild, and the US representative to the executive committee of the American Association of Jurists.

I'm updating this damn blogizzle*

Big ups to Sarah P., Sarah L. and Robyn who seem to be the only ones on my links list updating consistently at the moment...

I've decided to finally sit myself down and end this dry spell that I have been in since the visit to my homeland last month. Here is a list of the unbearably exciting things that have happened to me during the past couple of weeks:

1. I cut my hair!!!!!

Or I should say, my sister - with the assistance and critical eye of my 4-year old - cutest EVER!!!!!!! - niece (neice? neese? Ugh, I can't spell anymore...) - cut my hair. I believe I asked for a mere 3 inches to be taken off, and ended up with what seems like 10 inches gone. Hahaha. Just kidding, Kristina. My sister did a good job. I think it's a ratio thing, actually. Because 3 inches to a normal-sized human being probably wouldn't amount to much. Especially if their hair were as long and luxurious (and by "long and luxurious," I mean "gross and unmanageable") as mine was a few weeks ago. However, if you are a pocket-sized human like myself, I guess 3 inches just makes more of a difference. In any case, I have provided for you a very dramatic - and not at all exaggerated in any way - artistic rendering of my before-and-after:

Before.

In my made-up universe, my previous hair was so dead sexy that it literally shone with the light of a thousand stars. Especially when its unworldly power wasn't confined in a ponytail and was free to spread its beauty to everyone who happened to cross my path. In reality, however, I had neither the patience nor the energy to style my hair, so it was usually piled on the back of my head in some free-form hairball.

After.

Hahaha. Apparently, losing a few inches off my hair caused me to become a gap-toothed, crazy-eyed ogre. Damn.

2. I went on a Target excursion this afternoon.

Remember at the beginning of summer when I was so bored out of my gourd that I went to Target everyday? And I would write about buying Kleenex and toilet paper because that was exciting in comparison to everything else I did that day? Yeah. Today I bought some Drano (even with the shorter hair, I still clog up the shower drain at an alarmingly fast rate!) and, uh, some feminine hygiene-related products... Classes at UT have started and I'm actually jealous that people get to go to class everyday. Jealous. What the hell is wrong with me? All these years, I thought of myself as the type of carefree, relaxed person that would kill to have nothing to do all day. But apparently, I start to go crazy after two days of having no school or work. I'm like a shark, people! If I really were a shark, here is how I would look:

Ah hahahah hahahha. Dear God, I need help.

3. .....................

Ok, so a haircut and a visit to Target. These were the only things of any consequence that have happened lately. That explains why I haven't been updating this blog. This is really something. I haven't even been back to Knoxville more than a week and I'm already going out of my mind with boredom. I met with the band director of Halls High School on Tuesday and I will be teaching clarinet there in a couple weeks (yay!) Also, I sent in an application to work a normal-person job (i.e. Ysabel's worst nightmare...) yesterday. So the good news is that I will probably have a couple of jobs soon. And the sooner the better because I have about 2 pennies left to my name (you think I'm exaggerating, don't you?) and 2 cents will only get you so far, especially with gas prices the way they are. Here is my personal thought about the increasing gas prices:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

So I think I'll be fine in about 3 weeks, both mentally and financially. The upside is that I have all the goddamn live-long day for the next few weeks to practice the devil stick.... and I actually am! Just let it be known that there is a fair chance that I may go clinically insane between now and the end of the month. The good thing is that if I do happen to become psychotic, it will give me something to write about.

* "Blogizzle." Benjamin G. Gessel. AOL Instant Messenger chat. September 1, 2005, 3:11pm.