I take my vacations VERY seriously.

I really was going to practice ye ole battle axe. But instead I found myself sitting in bed eating chocolate and watching an America's Next Top Model marathon. Whoops.

Live Blogging from Denver International Airport

~ 2:53 pm ~

Dear fat and b*tchy old woman who sat next to me at the gate,

Why do you smell like rotting onions? I can almost forgive you for this assault on my senses, but you were a b*tch so I feel karmically free to make fun of you.

Hugs (with held breath) and no kisses,

Ysabel

*****


Dear strapping young hippie with blond hair tied in a pony tail underneath a wool beanie,

I was ready to be cutting and judgmental towards you for deciding that a super crowded airport terminal would be a wise place to bust out a remote control toy helicopter and start flying it over people's heads. But it was actually cute and amusing. I like the cut of your gib. Why can't there be people like you in Texas?

Patchouli hugs and platonic kisses,

Ysabel

*****

Dear Ysabel,

Why THE HELL did you volunteer to be bumped to a flight that would take off nine hours later than your original flight thereby causing you to be subjected to onion-smelling b*tches?! ...Oh, because you got a $400 travel voucher, that's why. Nice job! Only six more hours to go... You can DOOO it!

Love,

Ysabel



~ 3:14 ~

Oh God. I think I have to go twosies. Halp.


~ 4:06 ~

Update: the deuce has crawled back inside...for now (Sorry Mom. Sorry Schmoobs. Sorry...world). In other news: I have just devoured a king size Almond Joy and it has only served to awaken my hunger even more. Give me more coconut candy bars!! On a related note: it is Monthly Confirmation Time.


~ 4:29 ~

Am so bored that I decided to have a beer at the bar just for kicks. Being carded by the bartender made up for spotting a white hair atop my noggin in the airport bathroom while I was washing my hands.

Also, I am told that I have a chance of getting on the flight that is leaving in about 2 hours instead if 5. I'm crossing my fingers, toes and Fallopian tubes!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

You likey the new blog design?

All this talk of Krees-maahs has gotten me in the seasonal redesign mood. I think the final result is quite fetching *pats self on back*. Anytime I decide to try and do a redesign, I freak the hell out because there is inevitably some html code stuff I have to tinker with and I constantly have this fear that I am only one errant code cut and paste action away from making the whole thing explode. But all is well.

The color scheme is not at all what I had envisioned originally, but this one is actually much more sophisticated and subtle. I think my original plan was to have a much heavier (jarring, in retrospect) pine green and fire engine red color combo. And as you can (hopefully) see, I have totally jumped on the snowfall effect bandwagon. I am sure that in couple days, the novelty will wear off and it will just become incredibly annoying, but as of right now, I am in love with it.

Oh, one last thing about the color scheme. See the beautiful cranberry red color of the "WHATEVS" in the banner? Now take a look at the red in the left sidebar where it says "Followers (15)." Don't they look like 2 completely different colors? Well, they're not. Totally the same. But the white, sky blue and slate colors in the banner picture totally bring out the deep cranberry color, whilst the soft sage color of the overall background make the red in the sidebar look more cherry. It's driving me booonkers. Welcome to the madness inside my head.

I just can't seem to let this go.

Was sitting on the couch with Schmoobs when this commercial came on this morning:

Me: Their diction is horrible. I can't understand a word they're saying! It should be "We DISH you a Merry Krees-maahs!"

Schmoobs: *smirk*

Although I should add that the fellow at 0:13 comes very close to vocalizing with proper diction. Methinks I smell a former choir geek in the house!

Jingle Jangle: Revisited

Remember the first round of this epic battle? Round two went down this morning. BTW, I have since named BB's nemesis "Jingle Jangle." Has a nice ring to it. Hahaha, get it?! "Ring" to it?! Ugh, all the mucous in my skull is really taking its toll...

Five minutes later:

Also, one of the many lessons I've learned this holiday season is that, should you happen to be browsing around for possible Christmas presents and you happen to find the absolute perfect Christmas gift for your Schmooblebunnies, do NOT elect to put it back on the shelf in the idiotic hopes that it will magically be on sale the following week. Because, of course, Schmurphy's Law states that it WILL be gone by the time you go back a week later to check on it. Blargh Humbug!

iPhone photo study: Lazy Saturday Edition

You know what the best part about sitting through a holiday university choir performance is?

Trying to stifle your giggles as you listen to the selectively zealous vocalist diction:

"We wish you a Merry Krees-maahs!

We wish you a Merry Krees-maahs!"

and

"Oh, bring us some figgy poo-deeng!

Oh, bring us some figgy poo-deeng!"

Ahahahaha. Ha. Silly vocalists. Is this horrible of me? Especially because I am a faculty member at said university? Do I need to privatize this blog again?

*sigh*

Speaking of which, I fly home for Krees-maahs on Thursday. Woot woot!

Here's a lesson for you: Do not - I repeat DO NOT - attempt to save $60 on your airfare by purchasing an airline ticket through Priceline. Especially when they do not disclose the actual airline you will be traveling on until after you have given them the moneyz and you learn (ten seconds too late) that your non-changeable/non-refundable ticket is for an airline that does not allow BBs to travel with you inside the cabin - and will charge $150 EACH WAY for her to sit in a lonely kennel inside the frigid scary cargo hold. Blerrrgh. Luckily, Schmooblebuns has saved the day and will travel Southwest, allowing him to take BB inside the cabin for a mere (HAGH! ...sorry I just choked on my own sarcasm) $75 each way.

Finally, let me just say the our next door neighbor likes to play his guitar and/or bass and sing WAIL at the top of his lungs and he is really getting into it this morning. Meaning, he sounds AWFUL.

Self-revelation: Oy, I am such a music elitist...

Stab me in the heart already.

Just got off the phone with a customer service individual dicussing some banking/financial matters and he asked for my gross income. When I told him what my estimated annual salary is, he asked, "Okay. And that's _________ dollars per month, correct?" To which I guffawed loudly and said, "No no no. That's per year."

Repeat to self: I love music. I love music. I love music... blaaaargh.

***

UPDATED TO ADD: I stopped by the store after teaching lessons today (one of my middle school students: "Did you bring a whole box of Kleenex?") and picked up some promising-looking Vick's nasal decongestant spray that was on sale and that I was very much looking forward to using the instant I got home... only to find that the cashier didn't put it in the bag after I paid for it. ARRRRRR!!! Hulk SMASH!

UPDATE: Schmooblebunz for the win!!

Behold my ill-resulting attempt at taking a picture of the jackpot, while at the same time meeting Sarah L.'s request for more cat pictures. Sadly, his highness The President of The Finer Things Club does not take to such infantile activities as flash photography with the members of Team Cuddle too kindly. Oh well.

At this moment, Bela had just leapt to my right out of view of the camera in disgust of BB's downright shoddy appearance. If you look closely, you can see a small pile of green herbs on the bed to the right of the DVDs. More on that later. Whoops, one of my unmentionables had gone unnoticed in the background (On sale for like 99% off at Target this last week!). Sooo comfortable. And seriously, it was marked doooown to $2.48. Totally justified purchase. Anyway:

I tried to entice Bela and elicit some interest with his drug of choice (catnip). There are faint sprinklings of it on the DVD that you can't really see. I was so close:

Here is Bela and his magnificent stomach pooch walking away in disinterest. See that box of Kleenex at the top of the picture? It has like 2 sheets left in it. It was full just yesterday. I have been producing goo in mass quantities inside my skull seriously non-stop for the past few days. It has gotten to the point where I now bring a box of Kleenex and nose lotion with me when I go teach lessons. Also, a couple times I've coughed and blasted snot out of my nose as a result. It's disgusting. Luckily, I've been alone when this has happened. Well, BB was there, but she still loves me. Anyway:

And my final - LAME - attempt. Please note that at this point, Bela had just gone ahead and completely turned his back on me as I repeatedly yelled his name:

Sorry Sarah. I'll post better Bela pictures next time...

I've written (kind of) a new song.

Are you ready? It goes something like this:

(sung to the melody from "The Flinstones" theme song)

BB. Beee B BB. BBBBBBBBBeeeeeee.
BB. Beee B BB. BBBBBBBBBeeeeeee.
BB. Beee BBBBBB.
BB. Beee BBBBBB.
BB. Beee B BB. BBBBBBBB.
BBBBB.
BBB B B Beeeeeeeeeee!

Can you guess who inspired this masterful tunesmithing?

(It happened while I was on the can, no less. Just FYI.)

In other news, the LOST Season 5 DVD* comes out today. Which means it is a mere 56 days until the Season 6 (final season! *tear*) premiere!!! ...But who's keeping count? Anyway. Schmoobs better come home with said DVD set in hand, or somebody is going to find himself mysteriously locked out of the apartment, just saying.

And in Yes, I Seriously Am Asking This Question news: Biopic. Is it pronounced like "myopic" like BiOpic? or like bio-PICK? I've always wondered. Yes, completely random.

UPDATE: Correct answer (I've totally said it in my head the wrong way for my entire life. What is the matter with me??).

* We wantssss it...precioussssss.

An open letter to the students currently enrolled in my Music Lit course.*

Dear students,

Why are you all such f*ing whiny little bitches?!

Sincerely,

Prof. Sarte

* Not that any of them can read this. Mwahahaha!!

Do you know what happens when you try and take pictures of BB while dangling her new favorite toy over your head?

Krazy Eyez Killa!!!!

WTF.

happened to all my comments in my archived posts?!?! I discovered, upon revisiting my blog posts from Thanksgivings past, that my reader comments aren't showing up anymore. Blogger better straighten this shiz out SOON or I will lose it.

In more pleasant news: Thanksgiving was a success. Operation: Food Baby Gestation* is under way, scheduled to be in effect until precisely New Years Day 2010.

* See how I can joke about this sort of thing now? Only because this finally happened.

"Gobble gobblie gob gobble gobble!"("Happy Thanksgiving everyone!") (ALSO UPDATED!)

How pumpkin pies are made:

In other news: I made a batch of lumpia (mom's recipe) to bring to our friends' house for Thanksgiving dinner later tonight. Because nothing commemorates the arrival of the pilgrims to Plymouth Rock and breaking bread with the Native Americans for the first time quite like Filipino lumpia. But seriously. Nobody - and I mean nobody - doesn't* like lumpia, regardless of the occasion. Unfortunately, the recipe made enough for roughly one and a half trillion lumpias. So I am bringing about 20 rolls to fry up there tonight (should be enough for 5 people, right?), wrapped up 30 more (using up all the wrappers I purchased) to store in our freezer, and still have two tupperwares full of extra filling. Mmmm...delicious lumpia filling.

Also, I am happy to report that the entire process - while incredibly time consuming (can't avoid it), mainly because I do not own a food processor - was enjoyable and more efficient than my last attempt (coincidentally, for Thanksgiving 2007) due to the fact that I was able to use the wonderful (i.e. waaay sharp) chef's knife my mother bought me, instead of the glorified nail file I had to use last time. Five different kinds of chopped vegetables and not one chopped off finger? Happy Thanksgiving indeed!

The fruit of my labor:

X-treeeme CLOSE UP!!

And my eager and hopeful audience member all morning:

(that's "The Godfather II" playing in the background.)

Note to self: Remember to fix the focus settings before taking a video on your camera, damnit!

I fried up a few test rolls just to make sure everything turned out tasty and poifect (WHICH IT DID THANKYOUVERYMUCH), but Schmoobs and I ate them all before I could remember to take a picture. Whoopsie daisies. *burp*

*Blatant double negative totally intended.

A couple few totally unrelated items. (UPDATED!)

1. If you love mashed potatoes and are looking to try a different recipe - um, hellooo, like this Thursday maybe? - you MUST try this (it's my variation on a dish inspired by Giada "Million Tooth Smile Bobble Head Nice Rack"De Laurentiis' Baked Mashed Potatoes):

• Take 3 - 4 potatoes (I used 3 unpeeled Red Potatoes, and 1 random peeled Russet Potato. Just because.) and cut them up into 1 inch cubes. Boil them in salted water until niiiice and soft (20 mins maybe?). The softer the better - then the less work you have to do when you mash them later.
• While your potatoes are taking their hot bubble bath, fry (or, as I prefer, bake) about 4 slices of bacon until deliciously crispy. Do not discard the bacon drippings!
• Upon realizing that you forgot to buy butter at the store (d'oh!) , have the brilliant idea to substitute aforementioned bacon fat instead. Heat up in a pan and sautee some garlic and chopped onions in the bacon fat.
• Have a friend use a defibrillator* on your heart as it has undoubtedly seized from the mere sight and smell of garlic and onions frying in bacon fat.
• At this point, hopefully your potatoes are done boiling. Drain the water, return the potatoes to the pot and proceed to smush them. I personally prefer fairly chunky mashed potatoes, so I only mildly smushed them (you'll end up smushing/mixing them more later on anyway).
• Now, in the potato pot add the following: onion/garlic/bacon fat mixture, about 3/4 to 1 cup of milk, about 1/2 cup of grated Parmesan cheese, crumbled up bacon, another kind of cheese - I used about 1/3 cup of some Camembert I had in the fridge, salt and pepper to taste. Mix and whip to your heart's content.
• Train your brain to be in blissful denial of the fact that all of the dairy products you just put in your dish are poisonous to your body. Sigh, shrug your shoulders, think of the deliciousness, and then proceed.
• This dish will work best, I would assume, if the end mixture in the pot is, not creamy per se, but just a bit short of it. If it's not easy to mix and fluffy, add more milk.
• Plop and smooth mashed potatoes in a buttered or oiled baking dish.
• In a small bowl, mix about 1/4 cup of more Parmesan cheese and 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs (I used Panko) and a little drizzle of olive oil. Sprinkle on top of potatoes.
• Place in 400 degree oven and bake until top is golden brown.
• Enjoy! Mmm...cheesy poisonousness. Mmm...crispy topping and hot creamy potato smushness. This dish is delicious. And not to mention completely fat free!! (Yeah, right.)

2. You know what I never understood? This: Say you're driving around in a parking lot looking for a place to park. You pull into an empty spot and - lo! - discover that the spot in front of you (approached from the neighboring aisle) is also empty. Why in the hell would you not pull up and take that spot instead, thereby negating the need to back out of your parking spot when you have to leave and, instead, just drive forward to your exit? Schmoobles almost never takes the empty spot in front when presented with the opportunity and it confounds me.

(ps. This may have to do with the fact that driving in a straight line in reverse is the one and only thing I scored poorly on during my driving test when I was seventeen and I have, since that time, avoiding driving in reverse whenever possible.)

3. This website is so amusing. Their comics are simultaneously low-brow and high-brow. If you were ever a music major and suffered through the study of Renaissance English madrigalism during freshman introductory Music History (hellz yeah), then you will appreciate this:

If you never majored in music, then just trust me. This sh*t is funny.

The site also sells t-shirts of some of their select prints and I am not kidding when I tell you that I want every single one of them. But my faves:

I have no idea why, but I crack up when I read this one:

Does this even need explanation?:

Because I'm a poet and I don't know it:

OMG, this is probably like Number One on my top grammatical pet peeves list:

Because my fantasy other-life dream would be to be an astronaut and it's somehow reassuring to know that, even if I had pursued that dream instead, I would still probably be decrepit and cynical:

Because I grew up in the California wine country and enjoy a glass of wine every now and again (most recently, here), and yet know nothing about wine and am not ashamed to admit it:

Because I am a surly unapproachable botch who does not enjoy having her comfort bubble imposed upon:

Because I immediately thought of Schmoobs the instant I saw this print (and he, unprovoked by me, told me that this was his favorite one when I showed him the website):

and finally, because I EFFING LOVE HOTDOGS:

* Note: I pride myself on having above average spelling and grammatical skillz 99% of the time. But in typing out this word initially, I totally thought it was "defribulator" and not "defibrillator." Thank Jeebus for Google and spellcheck. This brought about the revelation that I have been saying the word wrong for my entire life. Guh. Now I have to totally rearrange my universe to train myself to say it the proper way.

In which I speak in code so as to prevent my dear mother from dissowning her nearly thirty year old (ACK!) unmarried daughter.

Yesterday, I have to say, I had never been so thrilled to get my "Monthly Backache of Doom". Usually I am bemoaning its arrival and popping Midol like M&Ms and whining like a little botch when it comes.

But not this time.

This time I may or may have done some cartwheels and then marched around with a parade of trombones behind me while throwing confetti around the living room. Do you know why? Because my "Monthly Backache of Doom" decided to take a little vacation last month. As with the thing that usually happens directly after the "Monthly Backache of Doom." More specifically speaking (in code), my "Monthly Confirmation That I Am Indeed Without Child."

And through countless panicked hours of Googling and more Googling and more Ooglie Googling of websites and forums on what it means when your "Monthly Confirmation That You Are Indeed Without Child" is one day two days one week infinity aaaaaaaaaack!!! late, you know what I learned? I effing learned that your "Monthly Confirmation" symptoms are EXACTLY EFFING THE SAME as the your "Monthly Confirmation Is Not Going To Come For Ooooh About NINE MONTHS" symptoms. You know, like the eating everything in sight. And the tenderness of the breasticles. And the bloatation that can double (if you're paranoid...like me) as an alien baby bump.

You know what else is not fun? When all of this coincides precisely with your weeks long cold/flu that manifests itself in things like fatigue and slight nausea. So, you know. Ugh. Not helpful at all.

Hey, Universe? Worst practical joke. EVER.

But anyway. Today was the day that I have been hoping and praying and wishing for for the past eight weeks. Praise Jeebus Hallelujah. I am celebrating by having a glass of vino. A glass of vino that will in no way shape or form harm any sort of phantom alien lifeform inside my uterus.

I'm pretty sure there is only one other person that will be even more overjoyed than I am. Because I don't know if Schmoobles can take much more of my hissing like a feral cat and clawing at his eyeballs every time he even deigns to look in my direction, let alone give me a HUG without first wrapping himself up in Saran wrap from head to toe.

Did I mention that I am drinking wine? Because I am.

Oh, one more thing. One of my idiot students (college, mind you) used the word "profeshonal" in a written assignment this week. Yeesh. *pours self another glass of wine*

If you saw this t-shirt on X-treme sale for $4, wouldn't you buy it?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Ah, beloved Forbidden Mac and Cheese. For now, I must find happiness in merely wearing you when what I truly desire is to EAT YOU.

I know I know. I've been a bad widdle blogger... (it's not like it's surprising or anything)

But my current Facebook status pretty much sums up how I have been the last couple of weeks:

Also: I would really really REALLY like to subscribe to HBO just for this month so I can DVR all of this season's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episodes - especially with this season's ingenious Seinfeld reunion storyline. Unfortunately, doing so would involve my giving AT&T(ugh)/Dish Network (DOUBLE ugh) my remaining arm, leg, kidney, earlobe and uterus to pay for it. So perhaps I'll pass.

Booop! Boooop! CODE RED * CODE RED * CODE RED

Someone in the podunk town containing the college students that S and I teach logged on to this blog yesterday. So, clearly, this means this blog has to go private again. At least for a little while. Sorry. But my integrity and comically inflated persona of authority must be protected.

They must...RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

[insert title here]

Random thoughts while I wait for this second video to upload (fingers, toes, earlobes, fallopian tubes, etc. crossed).

1. Eating a handful of Skittles followed by a sip of red wine is ....entirely not as disgusting as you might think.

2. So. The apple cider vinegar magic potion? Total miraculous cure. I swear to you. I think that the apple cider vinegar and honey tea-which-tastes-like-somebody's-sweaty-butt-which-is-infected-with-an-unfortunate-fungal-disease (does that even happen, I wonder?), combined with my beloved ginger tea might give one the ability to re-grow a missing limb, it's that good.

3. Hm...this video still isn't finished uploading. I find this to be worrisome.

4. I kind of (by "kind of" I mean "really really really") don't want to teach clarinet lessons tomorrow. I would really much rather have a lazy day of drinking coffee and watching bad daytime television. Does that make me a bad person? Nah. Bad clarinet teacher? Maybe. I would, however, like to partake in the portion of the lesson in which the student hands me a check made out to me for a substantial (har) amount of moneyz. That part is enjoyable.

5. I hosted two fellow clarinetists over the weekend so that we could rehearse some trio music in preparation for a recital in a few weeks. As a result, our disgustingly-overpriced and non-storage-space-having apartment has never been cleaner. The challenging part was figuring out which side of the Papasan chair cushion to display on top: the side on which BB shat some "tootsie rolls" months ago, or the side on which BB threw up some strawberry milkshake that she had gotten into after Schmoobles left it unattended on a tv tray a few weeks ago? I went with the turd side since it was less fresh and was almost completely invisible as I had attacked it with as many cleaning products as I possibly could when it happened.

6. This video. is. driving. me. bonkers.

7. I am thiiis close to giving up.

8. I seriously don't understand this video's problem. The other video uploaded in like two minutes. Why must you be so difficult, video of BB and Bela playing/battling/chasing/bitch-slapping each other around the living room?? Answer me!!

9. Ugh. I give up. Stupid video. Or stupid Blogger. One of those two. Actually, I choose stupid Blogger since the video itself is of my two precious animal children and can never be at fault.

10.V premiered tonight. It was pretty good. Hopefully one of those shows that picks up steam with each subsequent episode. This does seem to confirm that Juliet is a goner on LOST, though. Well, then, how in the hell is Sawyer supposed to find true everlasting love and live happily shirtless ever after? Certainly not with Kate (insert eyeroll), for Chrissake. Sawyer + Juliet 4EVA! Ugh. I'm going to bed.

These videos better effing upload.

AAAAUUUUGH. Why won't Blogger let me upload the second video?? I've been trying for three days now!! Why why whyyyy?!?! Excessive multiple exclamation points with which to emphasize my frustration!!!

!!!!!!!!

Blaugh. I'm going to try to do it in a new post. In the meantime, enjoy this first video. It is of BB going ballistic over not being able to reach this Christmas reindeer door jingle.

*cough wheeze hack cough snort whine cough hack whine*

Oh hello. I didn't see you there. I was too busy spending my Friday night sitting on my couch at home suffering from consumption whilst sipping tea and watching The Rachel Maddow Show (luuurve her!) on msnbc. Apparently this particular varietal of cold/flu that I have is the sort that turns you into your own father. 

Note: this "tea" that I'm drinking is actually a mixture of hot water, one tablespoon of honey and one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. Through the magic of the blogosphere (yay blogosphere!), I read randomly somewhere that this is actually a well-known homeopathic remedy for pretty much all that ails ya. It tastes like complete ass - really putrid-appley ass with a bouquet of foot odor - (...okay okay okay, it's actually slightly less disgusting than ass since, by "one tablespoon of honey" I really meant "a buttload* of honey") and smells even worse, but doggone if I don't think it's already working. It could just be that I started drinking it while it was still too hot and just succeeded in making my esophagus too burnt to actually cough. Or it could be that the pop I heard when I blew my nose earlier actually was my brain exploding from the sinus pressure and now I am just imagining this magical ass tea working. Whatever. As long as it stops this effing cough already Goddamnit.

*Note to self: "ass" (three times!), "foot odor," and "buttload" all in one sentence? What is your problem?

WHAAAT THE EFF??!! I've been trying to upload a couple of entertaining (to me, anyway) videos of BB and Bela and it's taking Blogger forevahr to do it! Like almost an hour, and it still won't finish uploading. Ugh. I'm too ass-tea-poisoned and full of mucous to deal with this. I'll try again in the morning. Blagh.

Um...yeah.

I made the brilliant idiotic brilliotic™ decision to take some nighttime cold/flu medication last night which resulted in my last coherent memory of the night being my slumping down on the couch with reruns of The Office on the television and then Schmooblebuns having to wake me up and guide me to the bed at 2am (3am? 4am?) while I stumbled around like a drunk. Nothing like generic-brand Nyquil to make you feel like you just got sucker punched in the face. But, whatever, as long as it gets rid of my consumption.

OH YEAH, THERE'S THIS: Then I woke up at 5:30 in the morning to the sound of SOMEBODY OPENING OUR FRONT DOOR. At first I thought, "Hm...I wonder why Schmooblebuns is going out this early in the morning?" but then I rolled over and HE WAS LYING IN BED NEXT TO ME PASSED OUT. Jeebus Christ. BB - brave little girl that she is (!!!) - actually jumped up off the bed at the sound of the door as well and went to investigate. This happened, obviously, while I was busy sitting upright in bed peeing in my pants. Luckily, the door closed back shut again about two seconds later and I heard no angry barking from BB. Her head appeared unscathed at the bedroom door a moment later, which I took as a sign that my little ten-pound Ewok baby had successfully frightened off the would-be murderer. Just to be safe, I gingerly tiptoed out of the bedroom and peeked my head around to see if there were any axe-wielding body hackers hiding around the corner - luckily there were none. Thank Jeebus I had Nyquil-drunkenly passed out with my contact lenses still in last night or this all could have been much more terrifying. Anyway, I ended up walking around and turning all the lights on and checking behind every possible murderer-hiding-place (In the bathtub behind the shower curtain: CHECK!) and then lying in bed for another hour while occasionally shoving Schmoobles in his sleep as passive-aggressive punishment for snoring through this whole ordeal and for not locking the doors in the first place. 

Note #1: Was that just some drunken idiot accidentally walking into the wrong apartment at 5:30 in the morning?

Note #2: Or did I actually just imagine all that in my head due to my narcotic-induced stupor?

Reunited and it feels so goooood...

So. I'm sure you've all noticed my lack of posts lately. It has everything to do with the fact that my adopted computer (one out of THREE Macbooks that Schmooblebuns is currently in possession of...obsessedwithMacs much?) has been in the shop for the past week and I just got it back this afternoon, and nothing at all to do with the fact that I am a lazy botch who can't even take it upon herself to write a post or two on her iPhone for Chrissake. Also, not much has happened lately except for my ongoing battle with eighteenth-century consumption. Possibly the swine flu. Possibly boring old regular flu. Possibly my asthma flaring up and no longer responding to my usual controller medication. Without any health insurance, we'll never know.... (dun dun DUNNN).

Just kidding, Mom. I should have health insurance by next week so please stop worrying!!

Anyway. Something that is exciting is that I took my first real bona fide clarinet lesson in about 4 years earlier today. It was from this gentleman. It was excellent. I felt like an actual clarinetist again - instead of a devil-stick wielding crazy woman who abuses little children. I'll write more about the lesson soon. But in the meantime, the entire fourth season of Felicity beckons me online and I must heed its call. Here I come, Ben Covington!!!

Things not to do after a full day of teaching clarinetz.

Eat nothing but a Grande Soy Pumpkin Spice Latte during the day, then come home in a ravenous craze and stuff you face with a hotdog, a handful of popcorn chicken, a handful of fried okra, a handful of Sun Chips, a glass of chocolate (soy!) milk ...and 2 teaspoons of cough syrup. 

Excuse me, I have to go wretch now. Blaaaarh.

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #8

Ysabel Sarte just realized that the new Music Director of the L.A. Philharmonic is younger than her and is drowning her sorrows in a cheeseburger, Coke and donuts for dinner. HEY I'm allowed to do that this week, okay?!

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #7

Ysabel Sarte went to Target and proudly walked out with only the essentials: toilet paper and Drano Max. ...Okay okay okay and a box of mini donuts. I'M ONLY HUMAN, OK?! 

*****

List of things that I picked up and very nearly put into my basket, but decided to put back on the shelf instead:

1. Lilac colored lip gloss. I love those pink lip colors that have a hint of a lavender hue to them. And I've always wanted to believe that that color would look good on me. Oh well, I guess I'll have to find out another day.

2. Chocolate bar with almonds and sea salt. Chocolate and big salt chunks? Very intriguing (especially since I am PMSing and am craving all things sweet and salty). But it was like $3 for a bar half the size of a regular Hershey's bar. ON SALE. Just couldn't do it.

3. Coffee maker with programming function and higher cup capacity. I've been wanting to upgrade our coffee maker for a while. But, alas, I couldn't justify buying a new coffee maker when ours is still perfectly functional. Blargh.

4. Area rug. I had a very quick vision upon walking past the home decor section of putting a little area rug and coffee table in our living room in lieu of the sad-looking and non-functional empty space that is currently inhabiting the area between our couch and television. And then reason got the better of me and I realized that an area rug and coffee table would just be two more additional items that we would eventually have to carry down four floors and cram into a moving truck. Oh, would that that "eventually" be sooner rather than later! Anyway, laziness prevails, so I let that fleeting fantasy pass.

3 stars, my ass.

Ohhh. Maaaah. Gaaaaaaarrrhhh.

Last night I dreamt that I was watching a very contemptuous brawl between two people (I have no idea who) and one of them decided to defeat his opponent by taking a freaking toothbrush, sticking it into the other guy's right eye socket and effing popping his eyeball out. 

Two things of note: 

1) I remember distinctly in my dream that the poor guy - whilst having a pink toothbrush gouging his eye socket kept trying to reason with his opponent saying, "Oh dear. That's a little bit much. Can you lighten up a little? It's going to make my eyeball pop out! Oh no, not so hard! My eyeball's going to pop out!" And then it did.

2) Later on during my sleep adventures (Act II, if you will), I don't know why, but I somehow ended up with no effing right eyeball!! ACK ACK ACK. I seemed to be unfazed by it, to be perfectly honest, although I do remember avoiding mirrors and windows at all costs because I didn't want to see what I looked like with an empty hole in my head where there was supposed to be an eyeball. So clearly, I'm not one to be bothered by having a missing eyeball, as long as I can't see it. I'm so vain.

Then we reached an integral point in the action where I needed somebody's assistance to help me jam a rather thick and large piece of paper containing a picture of an eye (which, incidentally, was blue or green instead of brown - weird) into my empty eye socket and - here's the best part - you know who I asked to help me with this most delicate of tasks? LO FROM THE HILLS. You don't know who this is? Good for you. She, um, wouldn't be my first choice in real life. You know, to insert a picture of an eyeball into my empty eye socket. But here she is:

Let me tell you. 1) Lo was surprisingly gentle and caring when undertaking the delicate procedure. 2) In my dream, I could feel every last millimeter of that picture being jammed into my cranium and, man, it was WEIRD. Strangely - and thankfully - wholly un-papercut-like. Just...weird. 

And THEN. I realized that, as I was patiently letting Lo do her task, I could see what was on the back of the eyeball picture (incidentally, just some writing - I can't recall what it was...I think just something out of a magazine). Which is strange, if you think about it since that goes against the laws of physiology - I mean, there not being an eyeball there with which to see anything and all. But I digress.

Suddenly, before Lo could finish putting the entire picture in, I jumped up with the revelation that - if I am going to be staring at the back of this eyeball picture for the rest of my life, I might as well make sure that I'm going to be staring at something that I love dearly so I ran off to find pictures of:

1. Schmooblebuns (Hm. I guess after all the foibles and such that have gone on the last couple of weeks, I still kind of like the guy. Who woulda thunk?)

2. BB and Bela

3. My neices Kat and Vanessa

You know, so I could paste their pictures onto the back of the eyeball picture and live happily ever after. 

SO. WEIRD.

*****

On a totally related note: Last night Schmoob and I went to the Thai restaurant in our city (No, literally, it is the one and only Thai restaurant in our city...) for the first time and ordered some of our faves (pad kee mao and Massuman curry). I requested three out of five stars, as per my usual. But what we got back was more like 8 trillion out of 5 stars. I managed about five bites of my drunken noodles before I had to admit defeat and go find a trough of ice water do dunk my burning face in (that's code for "chug an ice cold bottle of Singha beer"). 

And upon walking out of the restaurant towards the car while rubbing my flaming belly, I remarked, "Wow, I bet I'm going to have some strange dreams tonight."

Quickie.

My spidey senses (i.e. my website tracker) tells me that I have been getting slightly increased traffic lately (despite my lack of posting *oops*) most likely because I have decided to un-privatize (unlike our current healthcare system... see what I did there? Woot stealth political commentary!) this blog, at least for the time being. So far I have had no unwelcome visits from any readers currently residing in any of the cities where I teach, so so far so good. 

But now I feel all obligated to post regularly again. Bleargh. Here goes:

1. I had some Forbidden Mac n' Cheese for part of my lunch today. And it was purchased at  a goddamn Walmart deli, for crying out loud. I don't even know what to say about that except that teaching middle and high school clarinet lessons at 8 in the morning makes you do crazy things.

2. Speaking of delicious things that I am not supposed to eat: I would (not) literally kill for a carrot cake with walnuts and cream cheese frosting right now. Especially if it were accompanied by a couple of McDonald's hot apple pies. Also: I am PMS-ing.

3. I received an email from a student today containing highly informal text-speak, poor spelling, AND improper grammar. Oh God, I SOOO want to post it on here whilst making snarky/bitter/unprofessional commentary about the state of our nation's youth and their increased inability to embrace the art of the written word...but I can't now that this blog is public again. Drat. But let me tell you - you would be appalled!! Ugh. I mean, have fun with the LOL-speak with your friends. Have at it on your Facebook. But to one of your college professors?! Yeesh. I haven't been able to bring myself to respond yet. 

Note to self: First sentence of your next syllabus must read "The use of text-speak or emoticons in any assignment or email correspondence will result in immediate failure. Both of the assignment and life in general."

4. Speaking of: I posted this video on my blog today because I think the song - and particularly the soprano's voice in this performance - is beautiful. But I think the comment from one of my former college students is pretty funny:

(click to view larger)

5. My dear sweet mother - whose birthday was last Saturday (Happy Three Days After Your Birthday!) - left yesterday with my aunt to spend time with family in the Philippines for three months. Ack! Three months! Confound it. I should have thought ahead and made plans to stow away in one of her suitcases - or stuffed myself into a balikbayan box! Ah! Would that I were currently lounging blissfully on the white-sand beaches of my motherland and spending time with my fam whilst bingeing on delectable Filipino treats and frosty beverages! But instead, I must continue teaching the chilruns how to make pretty sounds on the devil stick all the live long day. That's wack.

Oog.

So I was totally amped to post a couple videos on here that I took a few nights ago of BB in complete distress because Bela was sitting right next to one of BB's favorite toys (her stuffed pony) and refused to let her get near it. BB kept running and growling and barking all around Bela, but if she deigned to get too close, Bela would lunge and bitch slap her. It was hilarious. And the whole thing lasted like over ten minutes. And I was going to name the post "It's like freaking National Geographic over here." because I felt like a stealthy nature videographer capturing footage of a dramatic animal battle. But, alas, it was not to be. The video was way too dark and you could hardly see anything. Poop.

In other news: I think I'm getting a little soft around the middle again. Yarrr. Which is a little surprising since I feel like I haven't really had much of an appetite for the past couple of weeks. Actually no, scratch that. I feel hungry very often. Except then when I go to eat something, I take a bite and want to throw it up. What's up with that? But then again, I have been immersed in quite the whirlwind of emotions as of late (Oh, I haven't shared the details of that with you yet? Hm. Maybe later, I promise. Maybe.) and I could very well be eating my feelings* more than I am aware. Ugh. Anyway, my point is that I guess I should start working out again like I had been before summer. Maybe later. I promise.....maybe.

* I am really looking forward to the day when I have the extraneous money with which to spend on superfluous non-essentials, such as this book. I have read snippets online and, Jeebus, these recipes are hilarious:

(click to view larger)

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #4

Ysabel Sarte stopped at Wendy's on her way home from work to get some food* and arrived home to find that, instead of the hamburger and chicken bites she ordered, the bag contained two disgusting cheese and chicken sandwiches. Ugh. Just as well. Took one look at the sandwiches and nearly retched all over them. 

* I mean. Who spends the last two days feeling like a nauseated mucous-machine with a cheese-grater-shredded throat, and then decides it's a good idea to stop and get fast food for lunch?? Blaaar. I hate being sick. The end.

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #5

Ysabel Sarte just blew her nose and thinks her entire brain came out.

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #6

Ysabel Sarte is alternating between being completely ravenous and then wanting to vomit at the mere thought of food. Urgh.

Newsflash: Relationships are hard (i.e. Biggest Understatement of the Year)

In other news: last night I awoke in a sweat from a dream involving me taking a public shower (ew) and then having to rescue a sweet German Sheperd who was being held captive in a stable by an evil Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn! Nooo!) to find that I had sharp stabbing pains in my throat. And now I am fighting back the urge to cancel the rest if my lessons, run home and spend the remainder of the day gargling with ice cold water as that seems likely to soothe the fiery burning scratchiness in my throat. But I need the money (Second Biggest Understatement of the Year) so I can't. BLEARGH.

*****

OMG UPDATE:

I just got an email from one of my student's mom saying her kid has the swine flu. ZOMFG.

*puts down ham sandwich lunch and immediately runs to dunk self in giant antiseptic vat of bleach*


-- Post From My iPhone

O hai internetz.

Yeah, still here. Just dealing with shtuff lately. Blergh. But seeing as how I can finally feel myself rising gradually out of this growing-up related funk, I figured I'd drop a note to let you know that I'll be back to my ridiculously random and pointless blogging self again soon. Who knows, I'll probably even let you in on what's been up my butt lately. But in the meantime, Giada is on my television crumbling gorgeously crispy bacon on top of some bean and cheese crostini -- and that deserves my full attention. So see you spater.

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #3

Ysabel Sarte thinks she will drown her sorrows by toasting two generic-brand Eggo waffles, drizzling them with syrup, making some scrambled eggs and turkey bacon, and then fashioning it all into one gigantic disgusting waffle breakfast sandwich.

UPDATE:

What, you thought I was kidding?

Outsourced Facebook Status Update #2

Ysabel Sarte apparently deals with sadness and stress by drinking coffee and buying treats for her puppy at Petco.

This was going to be a Facebook status update but I didn't want my students to see it.

The desire to chop my hair and get bangs is strong. Someone talk some sense into me quick before I do something I regret and have to grow out for the next 12 months!! Ok go!!!

Nausea update (because you care)

Nausea was subsiding for a while. The only thing I found didn't make me instantly green after eating it was a peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich at one o'clock in the morning. Um. But then I opened the fridge at lunch today and found the last two slices of forbidden cheese pizza from the other night. And so I ate them.

WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?? Ugh. Gotta go get ready to possibly wretch. I need help.

True story.

So Schmoobs and I decided to enjoy a nice, soothing - albeit, tattooed-and-beer-guzzling-college-frat-boy-and-meathead-filled - soak in the splooge hot tub yesterday before dinner. A few minutes in and this delightful, inquisitive, cute-as-a-button little boy (complete with pink floaties on his arms) who seriously could not have been a day over 3 years old came and joined us in the tub. It was cute when he started asking us all sorts of random questions: "What's your name?" "What's his name?" "Do you know her name?" Etc etc etc. When he asked me if I had any kids, I said, "Ugh. No. ...Uh, I have a puppy!" 

Then he proceeded to point at my chest and say, "You mean, like those puppies?"

Whaaaaat?!

* * * * *

Also: I have been annoyingly nauseous and lacking of appetite for the last couple of days. No, scratch that. I am constantly hungry. But every time I try to eat anything I have the unpleasant desire to throw it back up. I am certain it is just a minor bug that is going around. Um, and not at all anything to do with the fact that my recent failure at resisting that devil pot of macaroni and cheese has given me a sense of undeserved confidence and I have been eating all manner of cheese over the weekend. Mmm...most delicious self-poisoning ever.  Geblurghen.

Am currently fixing myself a batch of chicken noodle soup for detoxification. 

Oh, and did anyone else catch the premiere of "What Would Brian Boitano Make?" on the Food Network today? No? Ah well, your loss. Try to catch the next viewing. Because

Food Network

+ former Olympic champion cooking out of his San Francisco kitchen

+ actual yummy looking food

+ super campy humor

= AWESOME!

Dear God... What have I done...

You know what my niece's favorite food in the whole entire universe is? Mac and cheese. And you know what a lactose-intolerant, dairy-poisoned young lady such as myself is never allowed to have? Delicious fantastical magical wonderful cheese. So you can imagine my constant emotional pain as I stayed at my sister's house this summer, being constantly tempted and teased with day after day of "mac and cheese-this" and "mac and cheese-that" and continuously having to deprive myself of one of the most delicious foods ever to exist in the history of the universe.

So you will forgive me when, after weeks and months of self-denial for the measly sake of my personal health, my powers of self control were shattered and I couldn't effing take it anymore and I FIXED MYSELF A GIANT GOOEY STEAMING POT OF MACARONI AND CHEESE WITH EXTRA BUTTER AND EXTRA CHEESE GODDAMNIT BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR BREAKING POINTS FOR CHRISSAKE AND IT WAS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I HAVE EATEN IN A VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME GAAAAAH!!!

*sigh*

And now we wait for the aftermath.....

Less than 24 hours in Texas and I'm already terrorizing the children...

Note to the prepubescents of Texas: Do not attempt to knock on our apartment door and then run away because, as you hopefully have noticed, we live in a building with indoor unit entrances, and doing so will result in me casually walking down the hallway and catching you at the elevator trying to make your getaway and then making it clear with two questions and my trademark stinkeye that you will not be performing aforementioned prank again. 

Also, my flight yesterday was extremely pleasant and not at all marred by the most irritatingly loud talker in the universe sitting directly behind me, as evidenced by my Facebook status update upon landing:

Guess what time of the month it is? (You know, FYI)

The time of the month when lunch consists of an iced caramel macchiatto, Doritos, Cheetos and 2 Midol. Yum.

Oopsie daisies.

Went and had a tremendously lovely lunch with my former clarinet teacher at my undergraduate alma mater yesterday. As we took a stroll across campus to check out the fancy new student center we ran into an older gentleman who stopped my  former teacher to chat, at which point she introduced me to him as one of her former students. As I reached out to shake his hand, he said, "Oh, of course. I remember you!" And then I instantly raised my left eyebrow and gave him a confused and doubting look because I was sure that he was just a crazy old coot whom I had never met me before. 

At which point he leaned in towards me as he shook my hand and said, "Stephen Anderson.....former Dean of the Conservatory of Music."

As in MY former Dean. Oops.

One of these days...

...I'm really truly going to sit down and go through all of my mish-mash hodge-podge of summer vacation pictures so I can methodically and cleverly share them all with you on my blog. And also share with you the many wonderful, memorable and funny stories that accompany them.

One of these days.

But in the meantime, can I tell you how effing NOT pleasant it is to find out that Kablooie was towed from our friends' apartment at the end of last month (I drove there and then they gave me a ride to the airport) and I just got the notice at my sister's house today? And the cost to bust Kablooie out of car jail is roughly one trillion dollars?? And that since he's been in the slammer, they've been racking up a $20-per-day "storage fee"??? OH, AND I'M CURRENTLY TWO THOUSAND MILES AWAY AND HAVE THE ONLY KEY??? 

BLAAARGH!! BLAAAARGH TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE!!!

*breathe*

*perform various acts of self-flagellation*

*borrow the Dharma time machine to go back in time and win the lottery without using Hurley's cursed numbers so I can pay for this effing towing fee*

*...while I'm at it, also go back in time to get a Masters Degree in Anything That Will Make Me A Comfortable Living Goddamnit So As To Make Minor (debatable) Auto Emergencies Less Apocalyptic*

*decide that begging the parentals for bail money - though infinitely more pathetic - is slightly less complicated*

Blergh.

In less totally sucktacular news, look at what I did today (thanks for taking the picture, Julia)!!

Hurley in my hometown in July:

Ysabel totally not at all being a LOST-obsessed stalker:

Hey, you know what happens when you leave your puppy with her grandpa for a week while you go cavorting in Tahoe?

Your puppy gets FAT, that's what!! BB is a cute tubby roly poly who can hardly jump up anymore!! AAACK! Time to hit the streets for some joint exercise, I guess....

"Does this angle make my butt look fat?"

Note to self: Begin BB's diet and exercise regimen STAT.

*****

Oh, and Tahoe was super fun.  Doy. Unfortunately, I opted out of the mid-day casino trip with both my brothers, my older brother's gf and my mom in which, apparently, all four of them won money. Blargh. Ah well, bygones. I suppose I can just go ahead and take a look at the bacon waffle (yes, you heard me right) I had for breakfast on Saturday morning to make myself feel better:

Strips of bacon embedded into this deliciously warm and crispy waffle. You should be thankful I took this picture before I doused this bad boy in maple syrup - otherwise you would be eating your computer monitor as we speak. And by "you" I meant "I."

Oh, and in case you were wondering, that wasn't my whole breakfast. This was my whole breakfast:

Hm. 

Note to self: Begin MY diet and exercise regimen STAT. 

Oh, and note the now-syrup-drizzled bacony waffle goodness in that second picture NOM NOM NOM.  Also: no, my family did not spend the whole weekend in Tahoe gambling and eating our arteries to happy death. There is a giant beautiful blue lake in that area to go to, after all. But seriously. Bacon wafffle. YUM.

Also, this reminds me.  I've got an increasingly expanding folder of unnamed, unedited and unorganized photos in this laptop that I really need to take care of so my posting of summer vacation photos can come about with more ease...maybe later. 

Those pics of the topless men too much for ya?

Randoms:

1. Everyone and their mother - and most recently, my sister - all rave about how awesome Mad Men is. So I looked on the interwebz and it's totally possible to view all the past seasons online for free. Chances are I'm going to start watching every episode from the very beginning...starting right after I finish this post. I wonder if I'll still be up when the sun rises watching that show. 

2. So this small little Chinese food restaurant that's been thriving in my hometown since before I can remember has an awesome Chinese (duh) Chicken Salad. It's ridiculously simple - just lettuce, chicken, fried wontons and dressing - but it's so goddamn delicious. I usually buy some whenever I come home to visit. The thing that makes it so good is the dressing. It's so light, but loaded - and I mean LOADED - with chopped pieces of sushi ginger (or "gari" as it is properly known thankyouWikipedia). I am going to attempt to recreate this dressing - well, the whole salad really - I've decided. I wonder what a dressing of rice wine vinegar, sugar and gari would taste like? 

3. My siblings, my sister's family and my mother are going to Lake Tahoe for the weekend. It will be good times all around. The only SAAAD part is that the house we're renting doesn't allow pets and so I had to leave my dear sweet puppy at my parents' house while I came back to Sacramento to finish teaching lessons, so that my dad could watch her over the weekend. OH MY GOD I MISS BB AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH. Apparently she kept going into my room at my parents' house yesterday looking for me. And when I heard that story my heart imploded with almost enough force to tele-transport me back to my parents' house. Ugh, I wish! Then I could pick her up and snorgle her warm belly and buy her an inordinate amount of treats at Target then swallow her whole she is SO EFFING CUTE. 

4. Wait, did I mention how much I miss my puppy??? Look at her. So sweet...even when she is ruthlessly taking over all of my pillows.

5. Ok last one, I promise.  *deep breath* AAAAH! I MISS BB!!!!!

Come on. Seriously.

Yes, folks. It's that time again!

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you pumped delightfully quirky and talented singer Jason Mraz full of steroids and then forced him to stop writing music and, instead, spend all of his days at the gym drinking Weight Gainer 2000 and performing pull ups and stomach crunches? I know, we all have. 

Well, now you know.

He will turn into Jessie Godderz from CBS' Big Brother 11 (not that any of you watch Big Brother or care in any way, but OMG I love that show so much - it is the highlight of my guilty pleasure of summer reality television):

ps. Don't ask me how I procured these topless photos. They came about frighteningly easily. Go interwebs.

Ugh, I had to post something else to counteract the terrible-ness of Sandra Lee's cooking in my previous post.

BB PICTURES!!!

I took some glamour shots of BB as she sat by the windowsill watching my dad do some gardening in the front yard.

If I collected Bela's vomit for a month, fashioned it into a log-shaped mold, glazed it with ketchup and baked it at 450 degrees for 30 minutes...

...I think it would still look more appetizing than this.

Well, it's Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...

...or something like that. Isn't that from a song? 

There is no long glorious update yet, but I did want to say this: WHAT PART OF "I HATE HAVING PRODUCT IN MY HAIR" IS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND IF YOU ARE A HAIR DRESSER WHO I PUT IN CHARGE OF CUTTING MY HAIRS?!?! Ugh. Pet peeve to the maximus. I guess my two planned showers of the day will now have to be amped to three so I can wash this disgusting unwanted (albeit good-smelling, but still) crap off of my head.

Also: I am going to be thirty (ptoo ptoo ptoo) in less than a year and, Lord help me, I still love instant Ramen noodles so much. Especially when I mix in some frozen corn and peas. Is that ghetto? Or has enough time passed since my college years that it can now be charmingly nostalgic?

Not yet...

...but in the meantime, please enjoy this (slightly extremely overexposed - Hey, it was sunny outside, ok?!) video of BB freaking the eff out over my parents' adopted kitty, Junior, who looks just like a younger and fatter version of Bela:

Oh herrrro.

I'm going to update (a for realz one) soon. I promise. Probably with lots of pictures. I played my recital yesterday. It was tons o' fun (not so much the part where I played Cahuzac's Arlequin like complete sh*t, but the part where I played most of everything else passably well, and especially the part where we all went out for Chinese food and beers afterward and my gloriously wonderific former clarinet teacher from undergrad treated us all OMGWHATATREATFORPOORDECREPITSTRUGGLINGMUSICIANS). In the meantime, I have too much Facebooking and blog-reading to distract me. Oh, and BB is having her Woman Time again. Ack. Sunrise, Sunset... Sunrise, Sunset... Swiftly through the yeeeeaaars....

Why didn't I know this ahead of time?!?!

Hurley was in Santa Rosa the same time I was!! Click here for my missed stalking opportunity. Poo.

OMG, how awesome would it have been to stalk him and make him take a picture of me and BB with this t-shirt?:

Summer Randomz.

Ugh, can my Monthly Confirmation That I Am Indeed Without Child hurry up and get here already? I'd really like for my enraged hormones to vacate the premises please thankyouverymuch. 

In other news: Turkish coffee is the shiz. 

Also: BB and her Lolo are reunited once again. They are both currently out in the garden chilling. Well, my dad is probably doing actual gardening while BB is traipsing around finding new and exciting places to tinkle.